Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Does anybody have a coin?
So, quite fancy going to the cinema this weekend and quite fancy watching There Will Be Blood, the Oscar and Bafta nominated Paul Thomas Anderson film which has been hailed as a masterpiece. However, Sylvester Stallone was on the Jonathan Ross chat show in Friday with his new Rambo film and in that, apparently, someone gets brutally killed every 30 seconds.
So now I'm torn. Highbrow work of art or Stallone kill fest?
Tricky.
So now I'm torn. Highbrow work of art or Stallone kill fest?
Tricky.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Now THAT'S interesting
I haven't tingled like that at a trailer since the Star Wars Episode I teaser.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Film review: Cloverfield
Cloverfield @ IMDB
The review begins with a tinge of sadness as my Grandfather died a few days ago. He (and my Grandmother who died over ten years ago) had a profound effect on my life, in that they watched a Hell of a lot of films. And I mean a lot. I watched a lot of them with them, age certificates be damned*. But one particular brand of movies I remember being introduced to thanks to them is the Godzilla films.
Let's get this clear: I love Godzilla films. I can watch them all day. I cannot get into words my profound disappointment at the US Godzilla film, despite the teaser trailer being the greatest moment of my 15 year old life when I saw it.
So, we come to Cloverfield. As we all gathered from my previous excitement, I was looking forward to this film. No. I had been waiting for this film since that stupid T-Rex lookalike missed stomping on Matthew Broderick's smug face. It's rubbishness was proved years later when the real Godzilla wiped the floor with him. I still had my copy of Godzilla vs Megalon and continued to wait and hope.
A set up to further disappointment, you must be thinking. No film could withstand such a burden of expectation set upon it's shoulders.
You'd think so, wouldn't you? But you'd be wrong.
It is as follows: New York Rich People + Giant Monster x Army = The Best Film I Will See This Year. Simple as that.
The conceit of the film is that, Blair Witch style, it is the discovered camera footage of a small band of people who were running around New York as it gets leveled by something big and angry and even more angry. It speaks to our current news culture, the jittery footage grabbed by the bystander. The subway scene in particular brought back memories of the mobile phone pictures of the 7/7 attacks in London.
Yeah, fair enough, 9/11 is the obvious visual comparison as a) it's in New York and b) buildings fall over. One rather scathing review I saw on TV described the film as "9/11 porn" which is somewhat harsh. But you can't say it isn't there because it uses the same visual grammar of that day, only with a giant monster.
Ah yes. A giant monster. Do you see him? Oh yes. And watching it being attacked by soldiers and tanks and fighting them off is one of the most impressive things I've seen on a cinema screen.
So the monster is good. The humans? Good as well. You get enough of them in the beginning to actually care for them and that was good enough for me.
My only complaint is in the style of it. Now, that's not to say that I hated it because I didn't. The handheld style is amazing and allows for some truly terrifying moments. But it also gave me real bad motion sickness. I mean real bad. But I wouldn't have the film any other way.
In conclusion. I loved it. It has a great ending, cracks along at a great pace and it's not too long either. The only way it could have been better would have been if the Big G himself had been the monster. And he would have been proud to have put his name on this film.
But the only question is this: I saw the first trailer when I saw Transformers which was at least 6 months ago. So was the film worth the wait?
In a word? Yes.
* One of the most horrendously embarrassing moments of my life was due to this: we sat one night to watch Once Upon a Time In America. I must have been around 10. Something like that. Great film: De Niro, Sergio Leone, superb.
Then we get to the most prolonged rape scene ever. With me sat there, next to my grand parents.
That there answers a lot a questions.
The review begins with a tinge of sadness as my Grandfather died a few days ago. He (and my Grandmother who died over ten years ago) had a profound effect on my life, in that they watched a Hell of a lot of films. And I mean a lot. I watched a lot of them with them, age certificates be damned*. But one particular brand of movies I remember being introduced to thanks to them is the Godzilla films.
Let's get this clear: I love Godzilla films. I can watch them all day. I cannot get into words my profound disappointment at the US Godzilla film, despite the teaser trailer being the greatest moment of my 15 year old life when I saw it.
So, we come to Cloverfield. As we all gathered from my previous excitement, I was looking forward to this film. No. I had been waiting for this film since that stupid T-Rex lookalike missed stomping on Matthew Broderick's smug face. It's rubbishness was proved years later when the real Godzilla wiped the floor with him. I still had my copy of Godzilla vs Megalon and continued to wait and hope.
A set up to further disappointment, you must be thinking. No film could withstand such a burden of expectation set upon it's shoulders.
You'd think so, wouldn't you? But you'd be wrong.
It is as follows: New York Rich People + Giant Monster x Army = The Best Film I Will See This Year. Simple as that.
The conceit of the film is that, Blair Witch style, it is the discovered camera footage of a small band of people who were running around New York as it gets leveled by something big and angry and even more angry. It speaks to our current news culture, the jittery footage grabbed by the bystander. The subway scene in particular brought back memories of the mobile phone pictures of the 7/7 attacks in London.
Yeah, fair enough, 9/11 is the obvious visual comparison as a) it's in New York and b) buildings fall over. One rather scathing review I saw on TV described the film as "9/11 porn" which is somewhat harsh. But you can't say it isn't there because it uses the same visual grammar of that day, only with a giant monster.
Ah yes. A giant monster. Do you see him? Oh yes. And watching it being attacked by soldiers and tanks and fighting them off is one of the most impressive things I've seen on a cinema screen.
So the monster is good. The humans? Good as well. You get enough of them in the beginning to actually care for them and that was good enough for me.
My only complaint is in the style of it. Now, that's not to say that I hated it because I didn't. The handheld style is amazing and allows for some truly terrifying moments. But it also gave me real bad motion sickness. I mean real bad. But I wouldn't have the film any other way.
In conclusion. I loved it. It has a great ending, cracks along at a great pace and it's not too long either. The only way it could have been better would have been if the Big G himself had been the monster. And he would have been proud to have put his name on this film.
But the only question is this: I saw the first trailer when I saw Transformers which was at least 6 months ago. So was the film worth the wait?
In a word? Yes.
* One of the most horrendously embarrassing moments of my life was due to this: we sat one night to watch Once Upon a Time In America. I must have been around 10. Something like that. Great film: De Niro, Sergio Leone, superb.
Then we get to the most prolonged rape scene ever. With me sat there, next to my grand parents.
That there answers a lot a questions.
Film review: No Country For Old Men
No Country For Old Men @ IMDB
Right, let's get this clear: This is not a Lebowski, a Ladykillers, an O Brother or a Fink. This is The Coen Brothers, but this is the Coens with their sleeves rolled up, their fags stamped out and with a job to be done.
A Texan out hunting stumbles across the leftovers of a botched drug deal: dead Mexicans, a lot bullet shells on the floor and a bag containing £2 million dollars. He makes one mistake and then has to go on the run, a sociopathic criminal one step behind who wants the money.
And that's basically it. Toss in Tommy Lee Jones as a sheriff trying to make sense of the madness and you've got your movie.
But what a movie. The main two characters, Josh Brolin as the chasee and Javier Bardem as the chaser, dominate the screen without actually saying that much. Both men and are set on their path and nothing can stop them but each other.
Bardem (and his freaky, freaky hair) is getting all the press and deservedly so. He is an amazing presence, a force of nature, his every action full of threat. But Brolin more than holds his own, he becomes almost a reflection of Bardem.
Standouts: the scene at the hotel on the Mexican border. Woody Harrelson in a great cameo. The noise that the silenced shotgun makes. Damn near the whole film.
Apart from the end.
Now, the film is not a plot heavy thriller that needs to be wrapped up in a nice little package. But the last five minutes? Kind of gets lost. It's not clear what it's trying to say then BAM credits and the lights go up. It's not a deal breaker, it's not something that's going to wreck the film but it's a "Huh, that's it?" moment.
Doesn't stop the film being amazing thought.
In a word? Irresistible.
Right, let's get this clear: This is not a Lebowski, a Ladykillers, an O Brother or a Fink. This is The Coen Brothers, but this is the Coens with their sleeves rolled up, their fags stamped out and with a job to be done.
A Texan out hunting stumbles across the leftovers of a botched drug deal: dead Mexicans, a lot bullet shells on the floor and a bag containing £2 million dollars. He makes one mistake and then has to go on the run, a sociopathic criminal one step behind who wants the money.
And that's basically it. Toss in Tommy Lee Jones as a sheriff trying to make sense of the madness and you've got your movie.
But what a movie. The main two characters, Josh Brolin as the chasee and Javier Bardem as the chaser, dominate the screen without actually saying that much. Both men and are set on their path and nothing can stop them but each other.
Bardem (and his freaky, freaky hair) is getting all the press and deservedly so. He is an amazing presence, a force of nature, his every action full of threat. But Brolin more than holds his own, he becomes almost a reflection of Bardem.
Standouts: the scene at the hotel on the Mexican border. Woody Harrelson in a great cameo. The noise that the silenced shotgun makes. Damn near the whole film.
Apart from the end.
Now, the film is not a plot heavy thriller that needs to be wrapped up in a nice little package. But the last five minutes? Kind of gets lost. It's not clear what it's trying to say then BAM credits and the lights go up. It's not a deal breaker, it's not something that's going to wreck the film but it's a "Huh, that's it?" moment.
Doesn't stop the film being amazing thought.
In a word? Irresistible.
Film review: Charlie Wilson's War
Charlie Wilson's War @ IMDB
Hands up who knew that in Rambo III, Rambo was fighting on the side that would become al-Qaeda? I only mention this because Rambo III was probably the last time the Russian/Afghan war was last seen in a US film.
Until Tom Hanks decided otherwise, that is.
The short version: at the height of the Cold War The Red Army invaded Afghanistan, a long and bloody conflict followed. The US helped to finance the rag-tag Afghan rebels who eventually stalemated the once invincible Soviet war machine. The Russians eventually pulled out and this conflict precipitated the collapse of the Soviet Union and the end of the cold war. Find the full version here.
That's all well and good, I hear you say. But what has this got to do with the Hankminator?
Well. The decision to finance the rebels in their conflict is said to have rested with one man, the eponymous Charlie Wilson. Played, naturally, by Tom Hanks.
But this isn't the usual Hanks role. While Wilson was a US Senator who funelled billions of dollars into the conflict, he was also a party man. The film starts with Wilson in a hot tub surrounded by strippers. And Hanks pulls it off, his easy going charm slipping into Wilson like a used glove but given a bit of extra bite.
It wasn't all Wilson's doing, however. Enter Julia Roberts as a wealthy Texan lady who pushes Wilson into intervening in the conflict. Also enter Philip Seymour Hoffman stealing yet another film out from under the main everyone's noses.
Their three performances hold the film together and all of them are flawless.
The film, however, isn't. It's a film of it's times in that it's the US vs The Bad Guys (Russia) and anyone who helps them is good no questions asked. There is very little gray in this film. And this is a story that needs it because this story ends with a plane being flown into a building.
9/11 is the elephant in the room that no one acknowledges, apart from a final denouement that overly relies on the viewer knowing about the fallout of the War. Hoffman comes out with some zen story about how stories never really end, that they roll on and on. But that's not enough.
You could go on like this and tear the film to shreds but I don't feel like it. Because I liked the performances and it was an interesting look at an interesting time.
In a word? Empty.
Hands up who knew that in Rambo III, Rambo was fighting on the side that would become al-Qaeda? I only mention this because Rambo III was probably the last time the Russian/Afghan war was last seen in a US film.
Until Tom Hanks decided otherwise, that is.
The short version: at the height of the Cold War The Red Army invaded Afghanistan, a long and bloody conflict followed. The US helped to finance the rag-tag Afghan rebels who eventually stalemated the once invincible Soviet war machine. The Russians eventually pulled out and this conflict precipitated the collapse of the Soviet Union and the end of the cold war. Find the full version here.
That's all well and good, I hear you say. But what has this got to do with the Hankminator?
Well. The decision to finance the rebels in their conflict is said to have rested with one man, the eponymous Charlie Wilson. Played, naturally, by Tom Hanks.
But this isn't the usual Hanks role. While Wilson was a US Senator who funelled billions of dollars into the conflict, he was also a party man. The film starts with Wilson in a hot tub surrounded by strippers. And Hanks pulls it off, his easy going charm slipping into Wilson like a used glove but given a bit of extra bite.
It wasn't all Wilson's doing, however. Enter Julia Roberts as a wealthy Texan lady who pushes Wilson into intervening in the conflict. Also enter Philip Seymour Hoffman stealing yet another film out from under the main everyone's noses.
Their three performances hold the film together and all of them are flawless.
The film, however, isn't. It's a film of it's times in that it's the US vs The Bad Guys (Russia) and anyone who helps them is good no questions asked. There is very little gray in this film. And this is a story that needs it because this story ends with a plane being flown into a building.
9/11 is the elephant in the room that no one acknowledges, apart from a final denouement that overly relies on the viewer knowing about the fallout of the War. Hoffman comes out with some zen story about how stories never really end, that they roll on and on. But that's not enough.
You could go on like this and tear the film to shreds but I don't feel like it. Because I liked the performances and it was an interesting look at an interesting time.
In a word? Empty.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
2007 Round Up
Another topical post.
BEST FILM I SAW IN 2007
Tricky. My gut reaction is either Sunshine or 30 Days of Night.
BEST TV SHOW I WATCHED IN 2007
The future episode of Heroes. Awesome.
BEST COMIC I READ IN 2007
Again, tricky. The last issue of Ultimates 2 with the 8 page spread. The beginning and last issues of The Sinestro Corps War was as good as Star Wars.
BEST BOOK I READ IN 2007
To be honest, there haven't been many new books I've read this year, mainly been re-reading those already in my collection. So, by that definition the best book I own is Run so that by default is the best book I read in 2007.
BEST SONG I LISTENED TO IN 2007
Drama Queen by The Switches or the theme from Hot Fuzz
BEST VIDEO GAME I PLAYED IN 2007
Gitarro Man Lives for the PSP.
BEST FILM I SAW IN 2007
Tricky. My gut reaction is either Sunshine or 30 Days of Night.
BEST TV SHOW I WATCHED IN 2007
The future episode of Heroes. Awesome.
BEST COMIC I READ IN 2007
Again, tricky. The last issue of Ultimates 2 with the 8 page spread. The beginning and last issues of The Sinestro Corps War was as good as Star Wars.
BEST BOOK I READ IN 2007
To be honest, there haven't been many new books I've read this year, mainly been re-reading those already in my collection. So, by that definition the best book I own is Run so that by default is the best book I read in 2007.
BEST SONG I LISTENED TO IN 2007
Drama Queen by The Switches or the theme from Hot Fuzz
BEST VIDEO GAME I PLAYED IN 2007
Gitarro Man Lives for the PSP.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Fashion Tip #1
So, there's going to be a new Hulk film next year starring Ed Norton* and on the website website they've released the first images, one of which is Mr Norton in a vest starring and what we can only assume is somekind of Hulk potion.
I only mention this because one of the first images released for the upcoming Iron Man film was of Robert Downey Jr in a vest building an Iron Man suit.
What is it with the vest thing? Why are both main characters in vests? Are vests next years hot clothing item?
* Is it Ed or Edward? He was definetly Ed Norton when he was in Fight Club but I'm sure I've seen him credited as "Edward" as well in posh films.
I only mention this because one of the first images released for the upcoming Iron Man film was of Robert Downey Jr in a vest building an Iron Man suit.
What is it with the vest thing? Why are both main characters in vests? Are vests next years hot clothing item?
* Is it Ed or Edward? He was definetly Ed Norton when he was in Fight Club but I'm sure I've seen him credited as "Edward" as well in posh films.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Film review: I Am Legend
I Am Legend @ IMDB
To go off on a tangent almost immediately, the closest film to compare this to is Cast Away: big giant movie star appears in a film where it's just them on screen the majority of the time. Will Smith is the new Tom Hanks? Possibly.
Back to the film, what we have here is basically Fresh Prince of The Living Dead or, as some have somewhat unfairly put it, 28 Days Lamer.
That is the obvious comparison: Wiky-wiky-wild-wild-Will is Robert Neville, the last man alive in New York and possibly the world. He is searching for the cure for a plague that has wiped out 90% of mankind, a few were immune but the rest? I'm definitely sensing zombies.
But here lies the problem: they're full CG. They jump around all over the place and basically are so over the top they aren't scary. Remember The Mummy Returns? With the mummies that chased the double decker bus? That's what they're like.
The scariest bit of business with them is when Big Willy goes into a building full of them and you see a group huddling together. THAT was freaky. A big group of computer effects jumping over cars? Nope.
The problem is that I've read the book and in the book they're vampires but still essentially human. And that makes them scary because we can see ourselves in them. Not so with the Infected in this film, they may well have been aliens or something.
It goes without saying that the original book was better but it's not all bad. Will Smith holds his own as the only screen presence for most of the film. The world he lives in is intriguing but the pseudo science around it could be left behind and the story just left to focus on the characters will to survive.
And, to it's credit, it does pull an ending that you wouldn't expect for a Will Smith film. It's not quite as depressing as the end of the Dawn of The Dead remake but it's not far off. I enjoyed it.
Now, to finish the review. As it's a new year, and I'm running out of weapons, I'm changing the wrap up. Reviews will now finish as follows:
In a word? Ordinary.
To go off on a tangent almost immediately, the closest film to compare this to is Cast Away: big giant movie star appears in a film where it's just them on screen the majority of the time. Will Smith is the new Tom Hanks? Possibly.
Back to the film, what we have here is basically Fresh Prince of The Living Dead or, as some have somewhat unfairly put it, 28 Days Lamer.
That is the obvious comparison: Wiky-wiky-wild-wild-Will is Robert Neville, the last man alive in New York and possibly the world. He is searching for the cure for a plague that has wiped out 90% of mankind, a few were immune but the rest? I'm definitely sensing zombies.
But here lies the problem: they're full CG. They jump around all over the place and basically are so over the top they aren't scary. Remember The Mummy Returns? With the mummies that chased the double decker bus? That's what they're like.
The scariest bit of business with them is when Big Willy goes into a building full of them and you see a group huddling together. THAT was freaky. A big group of computer effects jumping over cars? Nope.
The problem is that I've read the book and in the book they're vampires but still essentially human. And that makes them scary because we can see ourselves in them. Not so with the Infected in this film, they may well have been aliens or something.
It goes without saying that the original book was better but it's not all bad. Will Smith holds his own as the only screen presence for most of the film. The world he lives in is intriguing but the pseudo science around it could be left behind and the story just left to focus on the characters will to survive.
And, to it's credit, it does pull an ending that you wouldn't expect for a Will Smith film. It's not quite as depressing as the end of the Dawn of The Dead remake but it's not far off. I enjoyed it.
Now, to finish the review. As it's a new year, and I'm running out of weapons, I'm changing the wrap up. Reviews will now finish as follows:
In a word? Ordinary.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Finally!
Warner Brother is now soley supporting Blu-Ray which should be the final nail in the HD-DVD coffin. From a UK perspective all the HD sections have a much greater proportion of blue boxes rather than that slightly depressing burgundy that HD-DVDs come in.
This is also fairly significant since every domestic format Sony has launched died on it's arse. Examples being Betamax, MiniDisc and UMD.
Now there is no reason for me not own a PS3...when they get a bit cheaper.
This is also fairly significant since every domestic format Sony has launched died on it's arse. Examples being Betamax, MiniDisc and UMD.
Now there is no reason for me not own a PS3...when they get a bit cheaper.
I still likey Iron Man
Okay, that isn't the movie Iron Man, it's an "advervideo" from a new Marvel website called Marvel Kids promoting the Marvel Adventures line which is basically the core Marvel concepts only without the decades of continuity.
Advervideos. Hmm.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
*sigh*
The screen on my laptop broke. The screen went dark but I could still make out stuff on the screen so I'm guessing that the backlight broke.
Now I have to use the old laptop again. Everything looks small and the screen isn't as nice and the keys are different and I can't burn DVDs or anything.
Sucks.
The warranty should cover it but first I've got to get Sony to pick the damn thing up.
I'm guessing this could be the first of a series of posts.
And I failed my driving test.
*sigh*
Now I have to use the old laptop again. Everything looks small and the screen isn't as nice and the keys are different and I can't burn DVDs or anything.
Sucks.
The warranty should cover it but first I've got to get Sony to pick the damn thing up.
I'm guessing this could be the first of a series of posts.
And I failed my driving test.
*sigh*
Friday, December 14, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Goddamn those Ninja Yakuzas!
Yeah, there is no way that is getting a UK cinema release. How the Hell do they get away with that stuff?
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Those Wii jokes aren't so funny any more, are they?
You know things are going well when you don't even have to advertise your product for it to sell really well.
You know, I remember having a GameCube and watching it die a painful death whilst everyone else ignored it. One silly name and new control scheme later and they've conquered the world.
Again.
You know, I remember having a GameCube and watching it die a painful death whilst everyone else ignored it. One silly name and new control scheme later and they've conquered the world.
Again.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Looks like the internet is going to break again.
The new Grand Theft Auto IV trailer is up, so the internet will no doubt slow to a crawl.
Thoughts? It's undeniable that the game looks great. But my concern is how the thing is going to control. That's going to be the biggest thing. It can look as great as any Hollywood summer blockbuster but if it still controls like a dog whenever you try to shoot something then what's the point of all the fancy next-gen hi-def razzamatazz?
I'm going to hold off my final opinion until I see actual gameplay footage. That or play it. That'd be nice.
Thoughts? It's undeniable that the game looks great. But my concern is how the thing is going to control. That's going to be the biggest thing. It can look as great as any Hollywood summer blockbuster but if it still controls like a dog whenever you try to shoot something then what's the point of all the fancy next-gen hi-def razzamatazz?
I'm going to hold off my final opinion until I see actual gameplay footage. That or play it. That'd be nice.
Jail time occurs in real time
They won't be able to hold him. I give it a week before he escapes in a hail of gunfire.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Film Review: America Gangster
American Gangster @ IMDB
Last time we did the equation Russel Crowe + Ridley Scott (ignoring A Good Year for obvious reasons) we had the cinematic juggernaut that was Gladiator. Unleash Hell and all that.
So what do we get this time? We get Russel Crowe as an incorruptible New York cop tasked with bringing down major drug lords. A pure brand of heroin is flooding the streets and no one knows where it's coming from. But wait, who's this in a very expensive looking chinchilla fur coat? Why, it's academy award winning actor Denzel Washington!
The easiest comparison: Heat, in that you have two heavyweight actors that don't actually share a scene until the end. Other nods and hats tipped to include The French Connection and Goodfellas. Illustrious company, that goes without saying. Can the film stand amongst them?
Yeah. It's not quite the masterpiece it wants to be but you can't fault it. Both leads are great, the look of the film is superb, the plot engrossing. This is Russel Crowe from The Insider rather than Cinderella Man, which can only be a good thing. Denzel is Denzel.
My only concern: it hasn't quite got the iconic scene that the other films have: the bank robbery from Heat, the car chase from French Connection, pretty much any scene you fancy from Goodfellas. Don't get me wrong, the film is great but you just wanted that one great scene to push it over the top. Whether or not this means that the film will stand the test of time is a question that will have to wait for a while.
It's also a long film so pack a cushion.
So, great film, no complaints. My only problem was that my free cinema card didn't work so I had to pay. That sucked.
The film gets a pair of knuckle dusters, the ideal thing to beat lowlifes with to prove who is in charge.
Last time we did the equation Russel Crowe + Ridley Scott (ignoring A Good Year for obvious reasons) we had the cinematic juggernaut that was Gladiator. Unleash Hell and all that.
So what do we get this time? We get Russel Crowe as an incorruptible New York cop tasked with bringing down major drug lords. A pure brand of heroin is flooding the streets and no one knows where it's coming from. But wait, who's this in a very expensive looking chinchilla fur coat? Why, it's academy award winning actor Denzel Washington!
The easiest comparison: Heat, in that you have two heavyweight actors that don't actually share a scene until the end. Other nods and hats tipped to include The French Connection and Goodfellas. Illustrious company, that goes without saying. Can the film stand amongst them?
Yeah. It's not quite the masterpiece it wants to be but you can't fault it. Both leads are great, the look of the film is superb, the plot engrossing. This is Russel Crowe from The Insider rather than Cinderella Man, which can only be a good thing. Denzel is Denzel.
My only concern: it hasn't quite got the iconic scene that the other films have: the bank robbery from Heat, the car chase from French Connection, pretty much any scene you fancy from Goodfellas. Don't get me wrong, the film is great but you just wanted that one great scene to push it over the top. Whether or not this means that the film will stand the test of time is a question that will have to wait for a while.
It's also a long film so pack a cushion.
So, great film, no complaints. My only problem was that my free cinema card didn't work so I had to pay. That sucked.
The film gets a pair of knuckle dusters, the ideal thing to beat lowlifes with to prove who is in charge.
Seriously! Why?
Okay, fine, THIS is the most disgusting thing ever.
I just don't understand. Did I miss a meeting? When did we decide vomit was sexy?
I just don't understand. Did I miss a meeting? When did we decide vomit was sexy?
I had to wipe the sick out of my keyboard
The most disgusting thing ever.
I apologise in advance. If you can make it to the end you're a stronger person than I am. Or you just enjoy the sight of two women, a cup full of pooh and vomit.
Oh god, now I have to go be sick again.
I apologise in advance. If you can make it to the end you're a stronger person than I am. Or you just enjoy the sight of two women, a cup full of pooh and vomit.
Oh god, now I have to go be sick again.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Film review: Beowulf
Beowulf @ IMDB
So, a while ago I watched The Polar Express for the first time. Scariest film since The Evil Dead.
Why is that? Performance capture. You get some actors in suits, hook them up to computers and record their motion, slap some CG on it and you get Gollum from Lord of The Rings. A visual aid for you:
You see? The actors motions are captured and you get the CG character on screen. Unfortunately, in The Polar Express, you get zombie eyed kids that look like they're from Malcom In The Middle:
But this was several years ago and now we get Beowulf, using the same techniques. And this time, instead of kids and Christmas, we get swords and monsters.
For those of you who haven't studied the ancient Anglo-Saxon poem that is Beowulf, you've got some vaguely Viking-esque folk livin' it up in their village when a big monster comes along and throws some spanners into the works. Beowulf then shows up to make with the monster killing.
It's undeniable that the film (mostly) looks amazing. The CG world looks amazingly realistic and gives the director Robert Zemeckis freedom to do all manner of freaky camera moves. The characters are a step up from the horrific Express film, the lead characters that is. Beowulf, taking up the majority of the screen time, is especially detailed. Peripheral characters, less so.
The monster, though, is astounding. It's an amazing creation, something that should stand the test of time. He just looks painful, his skin peeled away, organs visible, he looks like a creature in torment so you can understand why he lashes out.
He is also the star of the best sequences in the film.
Problems? The Beowulf/Grendel smackdown is kind of ruined by Beowulf being naked. You end up with a procession of objects preserving his modesty, like in Austin Powers. It kind of makes no sense. And as good as the film looks, it still looks like CG and the characters still look...weird. A Pixar film, in my opinion, will hold up longer than this kind of film. The Pixar film creates it's own world, staying on the right side of cartoony. Beowulf will not age well, you only have to look at Polar Express and the Final Fantasy film to see that realism doesn't last. Toy Story, meanwhile, still looks as good as ever.
I also wanted the film to go further, violence wise. It's a 12A but when Grendel attacks you only see shadows and suggestion. People get ripped in half but it seems to be holding itself back. Like Die Hard 4.0, you get the feeling it was edited to get a lower certificate to get a wider audience.
And there's a ridiculous bit where Beowulf kills a monster and, for no discernible reason, shouts his own name. Looks fun, but silly.
That's the best description for the film really. Silly. Overblown silliness that just about holds it together between the action sequences.
Ninja weapon? Big two handed sword for killing stuff. PHIL!
So, a while ago I watched The Polar Express for the first time. Scariest film since The Evil Dead.
Why is that? Performance capture. You get some actors in suits, hook them up to computers and record their motion, slap some CG on it and you get Gollum from Lord of The Rings. A visual aid for you:
You see? The actors motions are captured and you get the CG character on screen. Unfortunately, in The Polar Express, you get zombie eyed kids that look like they're from Malcom In The Middle:
But this was several years ago and now we get Beowulf, using the same techniques. And this time, instead of kids and Christmas, we get swords and monsters.
For those of you who haven't studied the ancient Anglo-Saxon poem that is Beowulf, you've got some vaguely Viking-esque folk livin' it up in their village when a big monster comes along and throws some spanners into the works. Beowulf then shows up to make with the monster killing.
It's undeniable that the film (mostly) looks amazing. The CG world looks amazingly realistic and gives the director Robert Zemeckis freedom to do all manner of freaky camera moves. The characters are a step up from the horrific Express film, the lead characters that is. Beowulf, taking up the majority of the screen time, is especially detailed. Peripheral characters, less so.
The monster, though, is astounding. It's an amazing creation, something that should stand the test of time. He just looks painful, his skin peeled away, organs visible, he looks like a creature in torment so you can understand why he lashes out.
He is also the star of the best sequences in the film.
Problems? The Beowulf/Grendel smackdown is kind of ruined by Beowulf being naked. You end up with a procession of objects preserving his modesty, like in Austin Powers. It kind of makes no sense. And as good as the film looks, it still looks like CG and the characters still look...weird. A Pixar film, in my opinion, will hold up longer than this kind of film. The Pixar film creates it's own world, staying on the right side of cartoony. Beowulf will not age well, you only have to look at Polar Express and the Final Fantasy film to see that realism doesn't last. Toy Story, meanwhile, still looks as good as ever.
I also wanted the film to go further, violence wise. It's a 12A but when Grendel attacks you only see shadows and suggestion. People get ripped in half but it seems to be holding itself back. Like Die Hard 4.0, you get the feeling it was edited to get a lower certificate to get a wider audience.
And there's a ridiculous bit where Beowulf kills a monster and, for no discernible reason, shouts his own name. Looks fun, but silly.
That's the best description for the film really. Silly. Overblown silliness that just about holds it together between the action sequences.
Ninja weapon? Big two handed sword for killing stuff. PHIL!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Doesn't bode well.
The creator of Heroes apologies to fans for the poor start to the second season? Don't like the sound of that. I know it will be some time until I get to see the second series, thanks to my morals stopping me from downloading episodes and violating copyright.
By morals, I mean wife.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Too excited to think of a decent title!
New Cloverfield trailer!
Annoyingly, the movie it was attached to in the US was Beowulf. What did I see at the cinema tonight? Beowulf. Did I see the trailer? Nope.
UK sucks.
Annoyingly, the movie it was attached to in the US was Beowulf. What did I see at the cinema tonight? Beowulf. Did I see the trailer? Nope.
UK sucks.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sonnuvabitch!
So I fire up the Cineworld website to find a time to go see Planet Terror, no mention of the film on the website. I go to the Odeon website, the nearest cinema showing it is Norwich.
Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. Time to buy the American DVD then.
Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. Time to buy the American DVD then.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
What can I say, I had a lots of bills that week
Glad to see I wasn't the only one.
To be fair, I did buy the special edition of Amnesiac which wasn't cheap. My conscience is clear.
To be fair, I did buy the special edition of Amnesiac which wasn't cheap. My conscience is clear.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Film review: 30 Days of Night
30 Days of Night @ IMDB
You can tell Halloween has just passed. Horror films are everywhere at the moment which is where Josh Hartnett and a posse of vampires come in.
Mr Harnett is the sheriff of the most Northern town in the US, practically in the arctic. And every year the sun sets and night lasts for 30 days, most of the townsfolk travel south leaving a few hardy people left. Now. What mythical creatures hate the sunlight, like to feast on innocents and look great covered in blood on film posters?
Yep, vampires.
So, at the very least, it's a great set up. The whole mood is foreboding right from the start. Let's get this straight, this is a vampire film where nothing good happens. It starts with a pack of dogs being killed and goes downhill from there. The brutality of the vampires is unflinchingly shown it all it's gory glory. One of the best sequences is an aerial shot of the town showing the vampires tearing through the people; you see people on the floor being ripped to shreds, gunshots going off, blood smeared across the white snow.
So the vampires are great. The survivors hide and begin to try to survive the next 30 days. Maybe this section does sag in what is essentially lots of scenes of people sat around in a loft trying not to make much noise. But you get those stings of violence that keeps the film going and boy does it get bad for these people.
No spoilers but I have to mention a 6 year old vampire girl. And the only way to kill the vampires is to cut their heads of with a freaking axe. Do the math.
Oh, and it's another comic film. First of a trilogy. Haven't read the comic but want to now.
So it was great. No problems with any of the performances, the film never goes with the easy cliches and the ending is punch in the gut.
A word of warning though: this film has the most disturbing end credits, like, ever. Seriously. Worst I've seen since Blair Witch. I saw this with my good friend Ryan and we normally watch the majority of the end credits. We sat there and watched this really unsettling series of twisted images and listened to the bizarre white noise coming from the surround sound.
"Hmm," I said. "These credits are pretty unsettling."
"Yeah, yeah they are," said Ryan. Beat. "Can we go now?"
"Sure," I said and we ran out of there like scared kittens.
Weapon wise, nothing but an axe.
You can tell Halloween has just passed. Horror films are everywhere at the moment which is where Josh Hartnett and a posse of vampires come in.
Mr Harnett is the sheriff of the most Northern town in the US, practically in the arctic. And every year the sun sets and night lasts for 30 days, most of the townsfolk travel south leaving a few hardy people left. Now. What mythical creatures hate the sunlight, like to feast on innocents and look great covered in blood on film posters?
Yep, vampires.
So, at the very least, it's a great set up. The whole mood is foreboding right from the start. Let's get this straight, this is a vampire film where nothing good happens. It starts with a pack of dogs being killed and goes downhill from there. The brutality of the vampires is unflinchingly shown it all it's gory glory. One of the best sequences is an aerial shot of the town showing the vampires tearing through the people; you see people on the floor being ripped to shreds, gunshots going off, blood smeared across the white snow.
So the vampires are great. The survivors hide and begin to try to survive the next 30 days. Maybe this section does sag in what is essentially lots of scenes of people sat around in a loft trying not to make much noise. But you get those stings of violence that keeps the film going and boy does it get bad for these people.
No spoilers but I have to mention a 6 year old vampire girl. And the only way to kill the vampires is to cut their heads of with a freaking axe. Do the math.
Oh, and it's another comic film. First of a trilogy. Haven't read the comic but want to now.
So it was great. No problems with any of the performances, the film never goes with the easy cliches and the ending is punch in the gut.
A word of warning though: this film has the most disturbing end credits, like, ever. Seriously. Worst I've seen since Blair Witch. I saw this with my good friend Ryan and we normally watch the majority of the end credits. We sat there and watched this really unsettling series of twisted images and listened to the bizarre white noise coming from the surround sound.
"Hmm," I said. "These credits are pretty unsettling."
"Yeah, yeah they are," said Ryan. Beat. "Can we go now?"
"Sure," I said and we ran out of there like scared kittens.
Weapon wise, nothing but an axe.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Film review: Ratatouille
Ratatouille @ IMDB
It's hard to approach a review for a Pixar film. Everyone knows they're going to be, at the very least, very enjoyable. Kids will love them and they will make a ton of money.
So it goes for their newest film, Ratatouille, the tale of a rat in Paris that wants to be a chef.
Is it a Toy Story 2? No. But that doesn't matter, it's a great kids film. It doesn't resonate like Finding Nemo does but the story is great, the characters interesting. The film looks amazing, yet again. Somehow Pixar manage to find something else to improve with each film: the food looks amazing, photo realistic in some instances.
The main problem? The length. It is very long for a kids film. I took my son to see this film (his first time at the cinema, no less) and I was worried about whether or not he could sit through all 110 minutes.
To the credit of the film, he near enough did. Only started acting up a couple of minutes from the end.
There's the best review of the film. A three year old was entranced and watched 108 minutes of film before acting up.
It seems strange allocating a ninja weapon for a kids film but what the hell, I'll give this one a meat tenderiser.
It's hard to approach a review for a Pixar film. Everyone knows they're going to be, at the very least, very enjoyable. Kids will love them and they will make a ton of money.
So it goes for their newest film, Ratatouille, the tale of a rat in Paris that wants to be a chef.
Is it a Toy Story 2? No. But that doesn't matter, it's a great kids film. It doesn't resonate like Finding Nemo does but the story is great, the characters interesting. The film looks amazing, yet again. Somehow Pixar manage to find something else to improve with each film: the food looks amazing, photo realistic in some instances.
The main problem? The length. It is very long for a kids film. I took my son to see this film (his first time at the cinema, no less) and I was worried about whether or not he could sit through all 110 minutes.
To the credit of the film, he near enough did. Only started acting up a couple of minutes from the end.
There's the best review of the film. A three year old was entranced and watched 108 minutes of film before acting up.
It seems strange allocating a ninja weapon for a kids film but what the hell, I'll give this one a meat tenderiser.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Looks okay
Nice guns. Looks good, apparently it's not that close to the original comic (which had the main character be the son of a super-villain, as opposed to assassins, who had killed all the superheroes in the world) but, hey, I love guns AND car chases AND cars in mid air so will be willing to give it a try.
And check this out, apparently an animatic for a live action He-Man film that never got made. I would have gone to see it, only if they re-cast Dolph Lundgren. He's unfairly put down upon, in my book.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Film review: Black Sheep
Black Sheep @ IMDB
First things first, this is the tagline for the film for it's release in New Zealand:
There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand...and they're pissed off.
That's the level that this film is aiming for, watch it in a double bill with Dog Soldiers and you've got a great night in.
The plot, for those that require it, involves a sheep farm, genetic experiments, flesh eating sheep and buckets of gore. To be honest, trying to review a film like this is a pointless excercise. You're either going to go with it or hate it. If you liked Bad Taste, Braindead, Evil Dead 2 or Shaun of The Dead then you'll love this film. To really enjoy this film you have to be the kind of person that can accept the fact that if you're bitten by one of the flesh eating sheep then you turn into a Were-Sheep.
In fact, the Bad Taste/Braindead thing is a good link as not only do they share New Zealand origins but Weta Workshop did the effects on this film, Weta of course being Peter "Bad Taste" Jackson's effects company. It has the same goofy energy as Bad Taste, the same bad acting, the same plot holes and I love the fact that this film got released.
In conclusion, not for everyone but if you get it you'll like it. The best Ninja weapon for this film is the nearest blunt object you can grab to smash over the head of the next sheep that tries to bite you.
First things first, this is the tagline for the film for it's release in New Zealand:
There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand...and they're pissed off.
That's the level that this film is aiming for, watch it in a double bill with Dog Soldiers and you've got a great night in.
The plot, for those that require it, involves a sheep farm, genetic experiments, flesh eating sheep and buckets of gore. To be honest, trying to review a film like this is a pointless excercise. You're either going to go with it or hate it. If you liked Bad Taste, Braindead, Evil Dead 2 or Shaun of The Dead then you'll love this film. To really enjoy this film you have to be the kind of person that can accept the fact that if you're bitten by one of the flesh eating sheep then you turn into a Were-Sheep.
In fact, the Bad Taste/Braindead thing is a good link as not only do they share New Zealand origins but Weta Workshop did the effects on this film, Weta of course being Peter "Bad Taste" Jackson's effects company. It has the same goofy energy as Bad Taste, the same bad acting, the same plot holes and I love the fact that this film got released.
In conclusion, not for everyone but if you get it you'll like it. The best Ninja weapon for this film is the nearest blunt object you can grab to smash over the head of the next sheep that tries to bite you.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
This'll win over the Church people
Apparently, J K Rowling has revealed that Dumbledore from the Harry Potter books is gay. Having read all the book, the thought of that didn't even cross my mind.
Not that I'm being bigoted or anything, just that I didn't think about his sexual preferences. Went straight under my gaydar.
Now, of course, the Internet is going to be flooded by jokes/pictures/clips of Dumbledore encouraging Harry to touch his wand. Or replacing Dumbledore with Freddie Mercury in stills from the film.
It writes itself, really.
Not that I'm being bigoted or anything, just that I didn't think about his sexual preferences. Went straight under my gaydar.
Now, of course, the Internet is going to be flooded by jokes/pictures/clips of Dumbledore encouraging Harry to touch his wand. Or replacing Dumbledore with Freddie Mercury in stills from the film.
It writes itself, really.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
That was unexpected
Hmm. Not sure what to think about that. Is Street Fighter still relevant or should it be left in the arcades of 1992? I guess we'll find out next year when the game gets released.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
*sigh*
There go my dreams of getting a PS3 anytime soon.
Despite the recent price cut Sony have now announced that the 60gb version, the full version, is going to be discontinued in favour of the new 40gb version with no PS2 backwards compatibility.
It's just...but...why would...gah! It makes no sense! Why does Europe get to be screwed over yet again by a major console manufacturer? Not even Nintendo hated Europe enough to actually take stuff out of consoles they had already released. Surely the idea is to expand the consoles during their life not take stuff out.
See, I wanted to get a PS3 then get some old cheap PS2 classics like God Hand, We Love Katamari, Disgea, Okami, cheap good games.
But no. Not anymore. Idiots.
Despite the recent price cut Sony have now announced that the 60gb version, the full version, is going to be discontinued in favour of the new 40gb version with no PS2 backwards compatibility.
It's just...but...why would...gah! It makes no sense! Why does Europe get to be screwed over yet again by a major console manufacturer? Not even Nintendo hated Europe enough to actually take stuff out of consoles they had already released. Surely the idea is to expand the consoles during their life not take stuff out.
See, I wanted to get a PS3 then get some old cheap PS2 classics like God Hand, We Love Katamari, Disgea, Okami, cheap good games.
But no. Not anymore. Idiots.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Not again.
Walked into a goddamn door with the same goddamn toe as before. Bruised again, hurts again. And it annoys me that Planet Terror still has no UK release date despite being released in France, Sweden, Holland, Estonia, Greece and, next week, Germany.
Why do they get machine guns for legs and we don't?
I did stumble across this "international" trailer for the film:
And, even better, apparently Fergie gets killed in it.
Why do they get machine guns for legs and we don't?
I did stumble across this "international" trailer for the film:
And, even better, apparently Fergie gets killed in it.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Film review: Death Proof
Death Proof @ IMDB
It's pretty much common knowledge that the original vision of this film was as part of the Grindhouse double bill which flopped big time on it's release. This is despite a machine gun for a leg in the trailer. Stupid Americans. So, for the UK release it has been split into two full length films. Without the fake trailers. And no release date for the second part of Grindhouse, the one with the machine gun for a leg, Planet Terror.
Far from ideal.
But, hey, it's a new Tarantino film which can't be a bad thing. So in this love letter to 70s exploitation films we get Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike, a crazed psychopath who stalks young women before killing them with his eponymous death proof car.
Which is pretty much the entire plot. Stuntman Mike stalks some people, kills them, stalks some more, they fight back, the end. What you get is a lot of talking. A lot of talking. Remember the diner scene in Reservoir Dogs? The whole bit about Like A Virgin being about big dicks? Imagine that for three quarters of an entire film.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. The dialogue fizzes and flies like you'd expect, the characters voices are nailed down and it entertains. Kurt Russell is great, no one drops the ball performance wise.
But there is a lot of talking. There is a nasty car crash that keeps you going but there is a lot of talking.
But here's the thing. Just as I was thinking "gee, this talking is starting to drag a wee bit", Tarantino brings out one of the most stunning chase sequences in cinema. This is not a joke. This is pure, no CG, lady on a bonnet, high speed car mayhem. I didn't blink for ten minutes. Simply outstanding.
So it's well worth seeing as long as you realize and accept that you have to wait. Just be patient. Listen to the dialogue and the talking and just wait. And you will be rewarded.
The only possible ninja weapon this film can get is a car.
It's pretty much common knowledge that the original vision of this film was as part of the Grindhouse double bill which flopped big time on it's release. This is despite a machine gun for a leg in the trailer. Stupid Americans. So, for the UK release it has been split into two full length films. Without the fake trailers. And no release date for the second part of Grindhouse, the one with the machine gun for a leg, Planet Terror.
Far from ideal.
But, hey, it's a new Tarantino film which can't be a bad thing. So in this love letter to 70s exploitation films we get Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike, a crazed psychopath who stalks young women before killing them with his eponymous death proof car.
Which is pretty much the entire plot. Stuntman Mike stalks some people, kills them, stalks some more, they fight back, the end. What you get is a lot of talking. A lot of talking. Remember the diner scene in Reservoir Dogs? The whole bit about Like A Virgin being about big dicks? Imagine that for three quarters of an entire film.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. The dialogue fizzes and flies like you'd expect, the characters voices are nailed down and it entertains. Kurt Russell is great, no one drops the ball performance wise.
But there is a lot of talking. There is a nasty car crash that keeps you going but there is a lot of talking.
But here's the thing. Just as I was thinking "gee, this talking is starting to drag a wee bit", Tarantino brings out one of the most stunning chase sequences in cinema. This is not a joke. This is pure, no CG, lady on a bonnet, high speed car mayhem. I didn't blink for ten minutes. Simply outstanding.
So it's well worth seeing as long as you realize and accept that you have to wait. Just be patient. Listen to the dialogue and the talking and just wait. And you will be rewarded.
The only possible ninja weapon this film can get is a car.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Another fine mess Warner Brothers is dragging us into
So. Warner Brothers have announced the director for the upcoming Justice League movie.
Hmm.
Not sure if this is a good idea. If we take Grant Morrison's JLA as the team benchmark that means this film will star Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Aquaman and the Martian Manhunter at least. Now, Supes and Bats are sorted out, everyone knows them. Wonder Woman had a TV Series, as did the Flash, but they were cult at best. The others, apart from the Aquaman thing in Entourage, no one will really know about. So let's say you dump GL and the Manhunter and cite budgetary reasons, that's still 3 major origin stories to tell and two recaps in a 2 hour film.
Have these people not seen Spider-Man 3? It's not going to work. Too much story, too little time. They should take a leaf out of Marvel's book with the potential Avengers movie. They've stated that they'll do individual films for the characters first and then, once audience is aware of the characters, make the Avengers film. That's why you've got Iron Man out next year, a Thor movie in the works and a Captain America movie after that.
It makes sense to me.
Hmm.
Not sure if this is a good idea. If we take Grant Morrison's JLA as the team benchmark that means this film will star Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Aquaman and the Martian Manhunter at least. Now, Supes and Bats are sorted out, everyone knows them. Wonder Woman had a TV Series, as did the Flash, but they were cult at best. The others, apart from the Aquaman thing in Entourage, no one will really know about. So let's say you dump GL and the Manhunter and cite budgetary reasons, that's still 3 major origin stories to tell and two recaps in a 2 hour film.
Have these people not seen Spider-Man 3? It's not going to work. Too much story, too little time. They should take a leaf out of Marvel's book with the potential Avengers movie. They've stated that they'll do individual films for the characters first and then, once audience is aware of the characters, make the Avengers film. That's why you've got Iron Man out next year, a Thor movie in the works and a Captain America movie after that.
It makes sense to me.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Proof there is a God
Kanye West beats 50 Cent to the top of the US album charts, invoking 'fiddys' threat to quit music if he is beaten.
Not that I have any great love for Kanye West, I did enjoy Goldigger and his current single, but I do hate 50 Cent. Really offends me. He wasn't shot enough for my liking. So anything that means that I don't have to listen to his "distinctive" vocal skills should be encouraged in my book.
Not that I have any great love for Kanye West, I did enjoy Goldigger and his current single, but I do hate 50 Cent. Really offends me. He wasn't shot enough for my liking. So anything that means that I don't have to listen to his "distinctive" vocal skills should be encouraged in my book.
I wish this game was out when I was thinking of names for my son
As names go, that's simply breathtaking.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tina Turner was wrong: we DO need another hero.
Just finished watching the first season of Heroes thanks to certain avenues *ahem*. I've got to say, my top 3 is now as follows:
3. Lost
2. 24
1. Heroes.
It is just an awesome show. But the great thing is, here is a gigantic validation of all the time and money and tears I've put into comics. The fact that something can be so influenced by American Superhero comics can be one of the highest rated TV shows in the US is, frankly, almost unbelievable.
How can this happen when comics themselves have been struggling for years in the face of crashes and bankrupcies? My wife lapped up this series, stating it was one of her favourite TV shows ever (ever!) yet won't read any of the comics I recommend for her. Is it just the format?
Taking a hard look at it, Heroes takes a lot of it's story cues from the classic comic book stories. Not that this is a bad thing: for someone like me who knows his way round comic history, it's great to see and recognize these nuggets. Yet for my wife, coming across them for the first time, the strength of the story telling comes through despite the change of medium. I love picking out all these references, like
!SPOILERS!
the episode in the future that homages the Days of Future Past X-Men story, or that Linderman's plan is basically the same as Ozymandias' in Watchmen. You get several characters named after various comic creators, the finale takes place in Kirby Plaza...awesome.
I'm guessing one reason for this reverence of comics is the fact that a major comics creator, Jeph Loeb, is the co-executive producer of the show. So he is quickly becoming one of my heroes, not just for helping to create Heroes but also because he co-wrote Teen Wolf and Commando.
I love Commando. Maybe even more than Heroes.
3. Lost
2. 24
1. Heroes.
It is just an awesome show. But the great thing is, here is a gigantic validation of all the time and money and tears I've put into comics. The fact that something can be so influenced by American Superhero comics can be one of the highest rated TV shows in the US is, frankly, almost unbelievable.
How can this happen when comics themselves have been struggling for years in the face of crashes and bankrupcies? My wife lapped up this series, stating it was one of her favourite TV shows ever (ever!) yet won't read any of the comics I recommend for her. Is it just the format?
Taking a hard look at it, Heroes takes a lot of it's story cues from the classic comic book stories. Not that this is a bad thing: for someone like me who knows his way round comic history, it's great to see and recognize these nuggets. Yet for my wife, coming across them for the first time, the strength of the story telling comes through despite the change of medium. I love picking out all these references, like
!SPOILERS!
the episode in the future that homages the Days of Future Past X-Men story, or that Linderman's plan is basically the same as Ozymandias' in Watchmen. You get several characters named after various comic creators, the finale takes place in Kirby Plaza...awesome.
I'm guessing one reason for this reverence of comics is the fact that a major comics creator, Jeph Loeb, is the co-executive producer of the show. So he is quickly becoming one of my heroes, not just for helping to create Heroes but also because he co-wrote Teen Wolf and Commando.
I love Commando. Maybe even more than Heroes.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
I may have to sell some organs. How many lungs do you need?
So Apple have introduced a new a new iPod, the iPod touch. That looks nice. Very nice.
Want one. Want one baaad.
Also, Apple went and knocked $200 off the price of the iPhone and then gave all the people pissed off because they paid $599 for it last week a $100 voucher for the apple store.
Someone needs to email Sony: THAT'S how you do a price cut.
Want one. Want one baaad.
Also, Apple went and knocked $200 off the price of the iPhone and then gave all the people pissed off because they paid $599 for it last week a $100 voucher for the apple store.
Someone needs to email Sony: THAT'S how you do a price cut.
The Great-Second Uncle of All Bombs
Direct steal from The Daily Show, I will admit, but the father of all bombs deserves a blog. A direct quote: "All that is alive merely evaporates."
Now that is a bomb.
Now that is a bomb.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
This is for you, Dutch
As my good friend Ryan as been bugging me to update my blog, I have. And in his honour, here is a song dedicated to him:
Says in song what I feel in my heart. Thinking about you, big guy.
Says in song what I feel in my heart. Thinking about you, big guy.
Film review: Knocked Up
Knocked Up @ IMDB
A little late with the review. I like to keep things topical round here.
Never seen The 40 Year Old Virgin so can't comment on that. But this film comes from the same creators as that rather successful film.
Here we have a slack jawed slacker and a high flying career woman meeting in a bar, getting drunk, getting it on, getting pregnant.
This continues the trend of man-rom-coms (sneaking a romantic comedy under the radar by disguising it in the garb of an Animal House style comedy) and does it really well. I laughed, I was touched, I laughed again. Everyone in the cast is great, the characters draw you in, the jokes keep ticking along. Sure, it isn't perfect. You get a few gaps in the story, a few character issues aren't resolved as well as they could have been but it gets the job done.
Funny?
Tick.
Nicely warm hearted?
Tick.
Best Robert De Niro impression ever in the history of ever?
Tick like a mofo.
This film gets a bendy sword to reflect the sharp wit and slack natured heart of the film.
A little late with the review. I like to keep things topical round here.
Never seen The 40 Year Old Virgin so can't comment on that. But this film comes from the same creators as that rather successful film.
Here we have a slack jawed slacker and a high flying career woman meeting in a bar, getting drunk, getting it on, getting pregnant.
This continues the trend of man-rom-coms (sneaking a romantic comedy under the radar by disguising it in the garb of an Animal House style comedy) and does it really well. I laughed, I was touched, I laughed again. Everyone in the cast is great, the characters draw you in, the jokes keep ticking along. Sure, it isn't perfect. You get a few gaps in the story, a few character issues aren't resolved as well as they could have been but it gets the job done.
Funny?
Tick.
Nicely warm hearted?
Tick.
Best Robert De Niro impression ever in the history of ever?
Tick like a mofo.
This film gets a bendy sword to reflect the sharp wit and slack natured heart of the film.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Damn straight 2: Damn straightier
Which 24 Character Are You? | |
 | You are Jack Bauer. You are an aggressive and heroic figure. You think rules are only for kids, and try to break them at least once everyday (or hour). You like to get help from others especially your best friends. To complete a task, you are willing to do whatever it takes - be it the right way or the wrong one. Also, you could totally kick Chuck Norris' ass. |
| Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com | |
I KNEW IT!
Damn straight.
Which Heroes Character Are You? | |
 | You are Hiro. You are everyones favorite Japanese tourist. Your time is well-managed and you make sure things get done. On top of that, the girls always want a second chance with you. |
| Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com | |
I always knew, deep down, that I was born to be a Japanese nerd.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Maybe we'll win this time
Bill Bailey previews his entry into next year's Eurovision:
This isn't a joke, by the way so is very awesome.
Hopefully that will get his excellent TV series released on DVD.
This isn't a joke, by the way so is very awesome.
Hopefully that will get his excellent TV series released on DVD.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Dammit!
Again the BBC teases me. See this story on their website, the headline when it appeared in my morning news alert was "Monster attack steals user data". I naturally thought this was an actual monster attack not an attack on the Monster job website.
Dammit.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Film review: The Bourne Ultimatum
The Bourne Ultimatum @ IMDB
The review begins, as ever, with a tale.
My good friend Ryan called and asked if we'd like to go catch the new Bourne film. I said, hey, I love Jason Bourne films. He killed a guy with a magazine and a toaster. What's not to love about that?
So he said it's on at 6, he checked teletext, I said cool, it's a date. So he picked me up from my work place, we drove down to the cinema, looked at some Transformers*, strolled across to Burger King, grabbed a burger and chewed the fat both figuratively and literally.
Then I get a phone call. My other good friend, Meat, is joining us and since it's nearly 6 he's already at the cinema.
And there's no 6 o'clock showing of Bourne. The conversation pretty much went like this:
"Really?"
"Yeah, there's nothing on the screens for six. Eight thirty, yeah. Six no."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"It's nearly six so it might have dropped off the screens."
"I asked. No six."
"What's going on?" Ryan pipes up.
"There's no showing at six, idiot."
"Are you sure?"
Etc etc. So we walk up to the cinema and, waddyaknow, there is no showing at six. Ryan swears that there was, it said so on teletext but the evidence is against him. So we go back to his house, check teletext and do you know what?
It did say there was a showing at six. Teletext lied!
But this is a film review.
My first piece of advice: Do not sit in the front row if you suffer from motion sickness. The film is in a great documentary-style which is shorthand for the camera shakes all over the place. Now, I don't suffer from motion sickness and within half an hour I thought I was going to puke in Ryan's lap.
Now that the safety message is over with, on with the review.
Bourne is still on the run and looking for information about his past. That's pretty much it. Yes, there is a lot of CIA shenanigans going on but that's the thrust of the story.
Basically, everything that was great about the previous films is here and still great . Matt Damon's performance: great. Supporting cast: great. Action: superb.
It's all great. The main strength of the Bourne films is the tension that gets cranked up straight from the off. There is a great scene in a train station that is unbearable. And when the action kicks in, it's a great release to see this visceral, in your face, brutal action.
Highly recommended.
Bourne gets a stick, a really brutal stick that Bourne could use to pummel you senseless in, like, 2 seconds before you could even see him.
*Ryan's eye was caught by a Commerative Edition of Soundwave which he was going to buy. Until he saw it was £25 which was too rich for his blood. He wouldn't admit it, but he shed a tear over that.
The review begins, as ever, with a tale.
My good friend Ryan called and asked if we'd like to go catch the new Bourne film. I said, hey, I love Jason Bourne films. He killed a guy with a magazine and a toaster. What's not to love about that?
So he said it's on at 6, he checked teletext, I said cool, it's a date. So he picked me up from my work place, we drove down to the cinema, looked at some Transformers*, strolled across to Burger King, grabbed a burger and chewed the fat both figuratively and literally.
Then I get a phone call. My other good friend, Meat, is joining us and since it's nearly 6 he's already at the cinema.
And there's no 6 o'clock showing of Bourne. The conversation pretty much went like this:
"Really?"
"Yeah, there's nothing on the screens for six. Eight thirty, yeah. Six no."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"It's nearly six so it might have dropped off the screens."
"I asked. No six."
"What's going on?" Ryan pipes up.
"There's no showing at six, idiot."
"Are you sure?"
Etc etc. So we walk up to the cinema and, waddyaknow, there is no showing at six. Ryan swears that there was, it said so on teletext but the evidence is against him. So we go back to his house, check teletext and do you know what?
It did say there was a showing at six. Teletext lied!
But this is a film review.
My first piece of advice: Do not sit in the front row if you suffer from motion sickness. The film is in a great documentary-style which is shorthand for the camera shakes all over the place. Now, I don't suffer from motion sickness and within half an hour I thought I was going to puke in Ryan's lap.
Now that the safety message is over with, on with the review.
Bourne is still on the run and looking for information about his past. That's pretty much it. Yes, there is a lot of CIA shenanigans going on but that's the thrust of the story.
Basically, everything that was great about the previous films is here and still great . Matt Damon's performance: great. Supporting cast: great. Action: superb.
It's all great. The main strength of the Bourne films is the tension that gets cranked up straight from the off. There is a great scene in a train station that is unbearable. And when the action kicks in, it's a great release to see this visceral, in your face, brutal action.
Highly recommended.
Bourne gets a stick, a really brutal stick that Bourne could use to pummel you senseless in, like, 2 seconds before you could even see him.
*Ryan's eye was caught by a Commerative Edition of Soundwave which he was going to buy. Until he saw it was £25 which was too rich for his blood. He wouldn't admit it, but he shed a tear over that.
The Bourne Wikipedia
Saw the new Bourne film last night which is a tale to tell and the full review will follow when I get home later on. But my BBC Daily News email had a related interesting little story, a new web tool that can show changes make to Wikipedia pages by the CIA and other organisations.
Moving past the issue of surely they have better things to do with their time like ensuring world peace, it would be interesting to see what pages they edit. If it's mainly altering arcane bit of Star Trek cannon they we have an issue that needs raising.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I still love my new laptop
I do. And I've been playing with it loads which is why I haven't posted on here for a bit. But anyway, initial thoughts:
1) Sony laptop screens are fantastic. Really clean, clear and bright.
2) I love burning DVDs. I love burning CDs. Just being able to burn anything is great.
3) Windows Vista. Now, I may have previously groaned about the newest version of Windows but, you know what, it works. It doesn't do anything new or amazing that blows you away. it just works. It's like all those old promises made by Microsoft about how Windows will work, how easy it will be to do stuff, they seem to finally be getting near to that. Not much different than XP but very pleasant to use.
4) I love being able to put my memory stick from my PSP straight into the laptop and copy stuff over quickly and take it out straight away. Love it.
5) The battery on my old laptop was getting worn out, So worn out in fact that if you booted it up without it being plugged in, by the time you got logged in and everything the battery would be practically dead. Not so on my new laptop. I've been using it unplugged for ages and the battery keeps on going. And, it has yet to catch fire.
6) Games! I won't be able to play Crysis but things like The Movies will run on there which is good enough for me.
7) My dear wife attempted to name the new laptop Betsy. I said no, this laptop is a lady. A classy lady. She needs to be called something like Mercedes or Versace. To put it in perspective, the old laptop is now called Godfrey.
Monday, August 06, 2007
I miss my new laptop
Stupid work. Obviously couldn't bring my laptop into work so have to sit here with it far far away. Not fun. Got DVDs to burn, Vista settings to play with, Google Earth came pre-installed on it and I've not even started it yet!
5 o'clock is a long time away. I bet he's missing me.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
I love my new laptop
I reaaaally love it. No problems with Vista yet and I can now start burning my episodes of Consolevania to DVDs now. Love it. Love it love it love it
Friday, August 03, 2007
The Best Trailer Ever.
I'm not even joking. Less talk, more action:
I saw this when I saw Transformers. It deserves it's own post. I sat there in that cinema, stunned off my face.
I got home, stole my laptop off my good lady wife and fired up Wikipedia. Apparently, the film has no name but is known as Cloverfield.
My God, do I want to see this film. Inspired by seeing Godzilla toys in a Japanese shop? This movie is made for me!
I saw this when I saw Transformers. It deserves it's own post. I sat there in that cinema, stunned off my face.
I got home, stole my laptop off my good lady wife and fired up Wikipedia. Apparently, the film has no name but is known as Cloverfield.
My God, do I want to see this film. Inspired by seeing Godzilla toys in a Japanese shop? This movie is made for me!
Film Review: Transformers
Transformers @ IMDB
Now, I am a child of the eighties. Not just because I was born in 1980, either. All of the great 80s Icons were imprinted all over my childhood bedroom: A-Team curtains, an ET doll, Castle Greyskull in the corner of my room, a pirate copy of Ghostbusters ready to watch and Transformers wallpaper.
Giant robots fighting? I'm in. Orson Welles as the voice of Unicron? Sold. A live action Transformers movie?
My heart said yes, my head said oh dear. Which is right?
The Autobots have come to Earth to find the All Spark, an ancient artifact that could save or destroy the Universe. Unfortunately, the Decepticons were here first.
Just typing that, I cannot believe this has been made as a proper film for real people. Autobots. Cybertron. All Spark.
That last one. Hmm. Not a great idea. Could have gone with something from Transformers canon, like The Matrix of Leadership, rather than inventing something new.
But I digress. Shia LeBeouf takes the lead. Who he? I don't know but he carries the film well. He is our point of view, our anchor and if he slips up the film slips up. He doesn't and he is one of the 3 pillars that makes this a great film.
The other pillar?
BIG FREAKIN' ROBOTS FIGHTING EACH OTHER!
Make no bones about it: these are The Best Special Effects in The World. Seriously. The best. Like that song from the Karate Kid. THE. BEST.
Every criticism about the film: yeah, I'll give you that. The script is a bit dodgy, do we really need that shoot out in the library and the Michael Bay Shake-O-Cam raises it's ugly head several times.
But the third pillar, Senor Speilbergo, gives the film a light touch and a streak of humor. And it is really funny in places. Bumblebee pissing on someone is a bit weird* but some scenes are laugh out loud funny.
So. You've got all the usual Summer Blockbuster problems: running time, script, etc. But, if you held those toys in your hands as a child and wondered what they'd look like 30 feet tall, go see this film.
This film gets a sword, a huge sword that only Optimus Prime could use.
* Why does he need to piss on someone? This also furthers a trend, as Scrappy Doo pissed on Daphne in the Scooby Doo live action movie. What is it with Hollywood making our childhood icons piss on people?
Now, I am a child of the eighties. Not just because I was born in 1980, either. All of the great 80s Icons were imprinted all over my childhood bedroom: A-Team curtains, an ET doll, Castle Greyskull in the corner of my room, a pirate copy of Ghostbusters ready to watch and Transformers wallpaper.
Giant robots fighting? I'm in. Orson Welles as the voice of Unicron? Sold. A live action Transformers movie?
My heart said yes, my head said oh dear. Which is right?
The Autobots have come to Earth to find the All Spark, an ancient artifact that could save or destroy the Universe. Unfortunately, the Decepticons were here first.
Just typing that, I cannot believe this has been made as a proper film for real people. Autobots. Cybertron. All Spark.
That last one. Hmm. Not a great idea. Could have gone with something from Transformers canon, like The Matrix of Leadership, rather than inventing something new.
But I digress. Shia LeBeouf takes the lead. Who he? I don't know but he carries the film well. He is our point of view, our anchor and if he slips up the film slips up. He doesn't and he is one of the 3 pillars that makes this a great film.
The other pillar?
BIG FREAKIN' ROBOTS FIGHTING EACH OTHER!
Make no bones about it: these are The Best Special Effects in The World. Seriously. The best. Like that song from the Karate Kid. THE. BEST.
Every criticism about the film: yeah, I'll give you that. The script is a bit dodgy, do we really need that shoot out in the library and the Michael Bay Shake-O-Cam raises it's ugly head several times.
But the third pillar, Senor Speilbergo, gives the film a light touch and a streak of humor. And it is really funny in places. Bumblebee pissing on someone is a bit weird* but some scenes are laugh out loud funny.
So. You've got all the usual Summer Blockbuster problems: running time, script, etc. But, if you held those toys in your hands as a child and wondered what they'd look like 30 feet tall, go see this film.
This film gets a sword, a huge sword that only Optimus Prime could use.
* Why does he need to piss on someone? This also furthers a trend, as Scrappy Doo pissed on Daphne in the Scooby Doo live action movie. What is it with Hollywood making our childhood icons piss on people?
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Nevermind, eh? At least Joel Schumacher is still alive.
So that's one legendary director dead not long after another legendary director died. They're like buses aren't they? And, I don't believe I've seen any of their work. Can't say that I've seen anything more than the bits they would show in that stupid 2007 in Cinema trailer.
I can't say that I'm devastated either. Not to be harsh or anything but it's not like John Carpenter has died or anything. Now that would be devastating.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
And God said: Let There Be Flushes
Got home last night, ran upstairs, hit the flush and there it was. I feel like I'm back in the 20th Century. Not 21st, not yet as it's not clean enough to clean my teeth with yet. But we're getting there.
Hopefully the cinemas will be open soon so I can go to see Transformers before the weekend.
Fingers crossed!
Monday, July 30, 2007
Okay, so I lied
Still in Bristol, still getting free buffets. The mini Cornish pasties are still absent but can't complain considering the water will be back on soon. Imagine that. Flushing toilets.
I'll be living the dream.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
No free buffet. Boo.
I've just noticed that the phones in this different office aaaaaalmost sounds like the ones in 24. Not quite, but close enough for me to imagine myself as Jack Bauer. Like I said, almost.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Gloucester-mageddon 2007 continues
Or does it? News 24 has dropped us off the top of the news thanks to some new terrorist laws. Also, now the floods have hit Gloucester we're old news. No more presenters hosting the news from our streets, oh no, they've left us, going back to their flushable toilets.
Not that I'm too bitter. I've been in the work's backup office in Bristol today: taps that work! Water that flushes! FREE BUFFET!
It's almost like heaven.
Almost.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
The Phil Doyle Electricity Supply: Zero Defects
Still rocking on with power but no water. Would I give up the internet for a flushable toilet? Tricky. At least I don't have to wash up.
This is two mintues away from the town centre:
My bus into work each day goes near there. Not looking great but it's slowly getting better. Now, all I need to to find one of those bowsers. I tell you, if it hasn't got a green spikey shell I'm going to be very disapointed.
This is two mintues away from the town centre:
My bus into work each day goes near there. Not looking great but it's slowly getting better. Now, all I need to to find one of those bowsers. I tell you, if it hasn't got a green spikey shell I'm going to be very disapointed.
Monday, July 23, 2007
We're back
Lost power for a while there this afternoon. Ended up playing draughts (checkers, for those of you from distant shores) with my good lady wife until the power came on during a game I was actually winning. She tried to stop the game as a draw. Typical.
The water is still out. We've got emergency water supplies around the area now but the only thing is they're called bowsers.
How a I supposed to trust my emergency water supply to Mario's greatest nemises?
The water is still out. We've got emergency water supplies around the area now but the only thing is they're called bowsers.
How a I supposed to trust my emergency water supply to Mario's greatest nemises?
I've walked round there
They let us out: ooooooh yeah. Home, with power but no water. And another crazy video:
Now that is a lot of water.
Now that is a lot of water.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
My mum works near there
Here's a crazy video for you:
Walked round there loads of times. Drove past it during my last driving lesson.
Walked round there loads of times. Drove past it during my last driving lesson.
It's not raining any more
But it ain't dry.
Where I live is expected to turn into Waterworld pretty much anytime now but, don't forget the irony, because the tap water is about to run out.
I just caught the BBC News 24 channel with some guy flying over the water treament works in a helicopter saying it might not be that bad but then a Severn Trent Water spokesman came on saying it was bad.
So, fun weekend so far.
Where I live is expected to turn into Waterworld pretty much anytime now but, don't forget the irony, because the tap water is about to run out.
I just caught the BBC News 24 channel with some guy flying over the water treament works in a helicopter saying it might not be that bad but then a Severn Trent Water spokesman came on saying it was bad.
So, fun weekend so far.
Friday, July 20, 2007
It's raining
And I mean honking it down. We've already had some storm in the UK a few weeks ago, now some more. It's been raining all day. Aaaaaall day. And I just got soaked, thanks to my boy not wanting to get out his car seat. Right down my back. Then my umbrella turned inside out.
And you know what the really annoying thing is? Just typing umbrella has put that annoying Rhianna song back in my head.
God I hate that song.
And you know what the really annoying thing is? Just typing umbrella has put that annoying Rhianna song back in my head.
God I hate that song.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
An almost topical, relevant blog
So, according to some MPs the age you can learn to drive should be raised to 18. Isn't, like, the age 17? So how is increasing it by 1 year going to make any difference?
People should do what I did: get your provisional licence when you're 17, lose it, put off driving till the year after then nearly ten years later after getting married and having a child decide to learn to drive then. Simple.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Nothing but a stupid tax
Thanks to my fancy dan BBC News Alert email service, just got an email confirming that the BBC is to suspend all phone and interactive competitions after further serious editorial breaches are found. Having never entered one of these phone contests I feel quite smug.
This of course follows the Big Brother furore which means that at the end of each show you now get a five minute spiel about the money goes to charity and if you have a complaint go here and blah blah blah. And the ITV problems.
Imagine that: corporations trying to squeeze every pound out of you by whatever means necessary. There's a surprise.
This of course follows the Big Brother furore which means that at the end of each show you now get a five minute spiel about the money goes to charity and if you have a complaint go here and blah blah blah. And the ITV problems.
Imagine that: corporations trying to squeeze every pound out of you by whatever means necessary. There's a surprise.
Isn't the 21st Centaury great?
Found out I can email in blogs to my blog. From work. So, technically, I'm getting paid for this blog.
Sorry it's not about anything interesting. Just, you know, thought I should send in something.
Sorry it's not about anything interesting. Just, you know, thought I should send in something.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
DVD Review: Clerks II
Clerks II @ IMDB
Blimey, it can't be that long since Clerks came out? Really? Blimey.
The story goes that Kevin Smith promised his real life friend Jason Mewes that if he stayed of drugs he oculd play Jay again in Clerks II.
So here we are, on DVD.
After the Quick Stop burns down, Dante and his eternal sidekick Randal are working at a fast food restaurant. It is Dante's last day before he moves to Florida with his fiancee. Nothing could go wrong, right?
Kevin Smith's films always seem like attempts to mix the lowest of the low brow with heart felt sentimentality. But in a good way, not the John Hughes sickly sweet kind of way. So we get racial slurs, bizzare sex practices, drug taking all before the half way point. And funny it is too. It's strange seeing these characters after so long but also comforting. It complements and expands on the original which makes it, in my book, a great sequal but one that can stand on it's own.
And a guy has sex with a donkey in it. How can you turn that down?
This being a Kevin Smith DVD, the disc is packed with extras. But surprisingly, they've made it to the European disc. Normally we get nothing. You get commentaries, deleted scenes, a full 90 documentary about the film, the works. Well worth it.
Have to give this film a big bag full of ninja stars. Don't know why, I guess because Randal can throw them whilst making sarcastic comments.
Blimey, it can't be that long since Clerks came out? Really? Blimey.
The story goes that Kevin Smith promised his real life friend Jason Mewes that if he stayed of drugs he oculd play Jay again in Clerks II.
So here we are, on DVD.
After the Quick Stop burns down, Dante and his eternal sidekick Randal are working at a fast food restaurant. It is Dante's last day before he moves to Florida with his fiancee. Nothing could go wrong, right?
Kevin Smith's films always seem like attempts to mix the lowest of the low brow with heart felt sentimentality. But in a good way, not the John Hughes sickly sweet kind of way. So we get racial slurs, bizzare sex practices, drug taking all before the half way point. And funny it is too. It's strange seeing these characters after so long but also comforting. It complements and expands on the original which makes it, in my book, a great sequal but one that can stand on it's own.
And a guy has sex with a donkey in it. How can you turn that down?
This being a Kevin Smith DVD, the disc is packed with extras. But surprisingly, they've made it to the European disc. Normally we get nothing. You get commentaries, deleted scenes, a full 90 documentary about the film, the works. Well worth it.
Have to give this film a big bag full of ninja stars. Don't know why, I guess because Randal can throw them whilst making sarcastic comments.
Film Review: Die Hard 4.0
Die Hard 4.0 IMDB
Who doesn't love the Die Hard trilogy? Seriously? Even that ropey second one. The first defined the modern action film genre, the second was ropey but the third was a great film.
So now, time has passed and John Mclane is back. And fighting cyber terrorists.
What is it with Hollywood and hackers? When will they realise they hacking never translates well to the screen? That it always kills the pace and that someone typing on a keyboard just doesn't look that interesting. And how can a mobile phone access any computer with no problems?
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Mclane is sent to pick up a witness who may be at the centre of a terrorist attack on America's computer network that is bringing the East Coast to it's knees. Someone is, yet again, in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The main thing you need to consider with a Die Hard film is this: is the action good? And the answer is yes. Things go boom, bad guys get shot, people fight and everything looks great. So in that respect, the film is a success.
But. It is getting a bit over the top. In an effort to out-do the previous films John Mclane is starting to look like Neo in The Matrix. He, and a few of the villains, seem almost indestructible. This might sound strange, but it doesn't seem as believable as some of the previous films. Yes, there were over the top stunts but you could always see that it was a stunt man doing them so you could believe it. Here, you get a few CGed bits that tips it a bit too far the other way.
And not all the script holds up: Mclane's daughter is a bit tacked on and her character changes too quickly and for no reason. Mclane's sidekick is okay, but everything just feels sketched in. The support isn't as good as in Die Hard With A Vengeance.
But, it's a Die Hard film. Bruce Willis kills people, cracks some jokes and saves the day. That's what you wanted, isn't it?
Do ninja's have guns? Because that's the only weapon this film can have: a big shiny gun that holds a lot of bullets.
Who doesn't love the Die Hard trilogy? Seriously? Even that ropey second one. The first defined the modern action film genre, the second was ropey but the third was a great film.
So now, time has passed and John Mclane is back. And fighting cyber terrorists.
What is it with Hollywood and hackers? When will they realise they hacking never translates well to the screen? That it always kills the pace and that someone typing on a keyboard just doesn't look that interesting. And how can a mobile phone access any computer with no problems?
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Mclane is sent to pick up a witness who may be at the centre of a terrorist attack on America's computer network that is bringing the East Coast to it's knees. Someone is, yet again, in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The main thing you need to consider with a Die Hard film is this: is the action good? And the answer is yes. Things go boom, bad guys get shot, people fight and everything looks great. So in that respect, the film is a success.
But. It is getting a bit over the top. In an effort to out-do the previous films John Mclane is starting to look like Neo in The Matrix. He, and a few of the villains, seem almost indestructible. This might sound strange, but it doesn't seem as believable as some of the previous films. Yes, there were over the top stunts but you could always see that it was a stunt man doing them so you could believe it. Here, you get a few CGed bits that tips it a bit too far the other way.
And not all the script holds up: Mclane's daughter is a bit tacked on and her character changes too quickly and for no reason. Mclane's sidekick is okay, but everything just feels sketched in. The support isn't as good as in Die Hard With A Vengeance.
But, it's a Die Hard film. Bruce Willis kills people, cracks some jokes and saves the day. That's what you wanted, isn't it?
Do ninja's have guns? Because that's the only weapon this film can have: a big shiny gun that holds a lot of bullets.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Film review: Cabin Fever
Cabin Fever @ IMDB
What? You thought all these reviews were going to be of current films? I haven't seen this film before. And anyway, with the recent release of Hostel Part II it's almost topical.
So. Group of teenagers go into woods, get some flesh eating virus, bad things happen to them. Same old, same old.
My problem with this film: it goes to the throat too quickly. There's no real tension, no sense of claustrophobia. The characters are annoying at best. Yeah, it's nice and gory but that only gets you so far. I don't know. Maybe if I haven't seen films like The Evil Dead before then I would have thought this was great.
This, frankly, should be a modern interpretation of The Thing. But it isn't. It's empty. It's just a string of "oh, wouldn't this be gross" scenes with nothing holding it together.
The best weapon for this film is a shovel. If you've seen it you'll know.
What? You thought all these reviews were going to be of current films? I haven't seen this film before. And anyway, with the recent release of Hostel Part II it's almost topical.
So. Group of teenagers go into woods, get some flesh eating virus, bad things happen to them. Same old, same old.
My problem with this film: it goes to the throat too quickly. There's no real tension, no sense of claustrophobia. The characters are annoying at best. Yeah, it's nice and gory but that only gets you so far. I don't know. Maybe if I haven't seen films like The Evil Dead before then I would have thought this was great.
This, frankly, should be a modern interpretation of The Thing. But it isn't. It's empty. It's just a string of "oh, wouldn't this be gross" scenes with nothing holding it together.
The best weapon for this film is a shovel. If you've seen it you'll know.
Friday, June 29, 2007
There goes another one
So, the WWE Wrestler Chris Benoit has killed his wife and child.
What is it with wrestlers? What is it about their lifestyle that creates these stories? To be fair, they haven't been many stories like this. Normally it's cocaine or heart attacks or accidents.
Not murder.
And what makes it worse is that this wasn't just some backwater wrestler. This was Chris Benoit. This was The Rabid Wolverine. This was, and let's be honest here, one of the top ten wrestlers the WWE has ever seen.
He may not have had the cultural impact of a Hulk Hogan or Steve Austin or The Rock but for those of us who wanted to watch wrestling done properly, it was always Benoit.
But now that's all gone. We can always talk about his technical skill in the ring, the matches he fought in, the rivalries. But it will always come down to this:
He killed his wife and son.
What is it with wrestlers? What is it about their lifestyle that creates these stories? To be fair, they haven't been many stories like this. Normally it's cocaine or heart attacks or accidents.
Not murder.
And what makes it worse is that this wasn't just some backwater wrestler. This was Chris Benoit. This was The Rabid Wolverine. This was, and let's be honest here, one of the top ten wrestlers the WWE has ever seen.
He may not have had the cultural impact of a Hulk Hogan or Steve Austin or The Rock but for those of us who wanted to watch wrestling done properly, it was always Benoit.
But now that's all gone. We can always talk about his technical skill in the ring, the matches he fought in, the rivalries. But it will always come down to this:
He killed his wife and son.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
You can't slip anything past me
This is only really for those who saw tonights episode of Doctor Who, but it had two massive Marvel Comic references:
1) You have the Time Lords referred to as "watchers of the Universe, who vowed never to interfere". Well, that's The Watchers, the ancient race of beings who, well, watch.
2) The US President says the meeting with the new aliens will be on the US aircraft carrier Valiant. So the Doctor and his crew teleport onto the carrier and look out of the window and don't see any water. Well, blimey, it's a only a big rocket powered flying aircraft carrier.
Well, that's SHIELD's Helicarrier. Nick Fury had loads of those.
What next, the Doctor popping this adamantium claws? Or throwing this mighty shield?
1) You have the Time Lords referred to as "watchers of the Universe, who vowed never to interfere". Well, that's The Watchers, the ancient race of beings who, well, watch.
2) The US President says the meeting with the new aliens will be on the US aircraft carrier Valiant. So the Doctor and his crew teleport onto the carrier and look out of the window and don't see any water. Well, blimey, it's a only a big rocket powered flying aircraft carrier.
Well, that's SHIELD's Helicarrier. Nick Fury had loads of those.
What next, the Doctor popping this adamantium claws? Or throwing this mighty shield?
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Review - 4: The Rise of The Silver Surfer
4: The Rise of The Silver Surfer @ IMDB
To be honest, I bet most of the reviews of this film were written before the trailer came out. The first film version of the FF received a critical mauling but did enough at the box office to make a sequel worth while.
So here we are. All of the Fantastic Four are back with this pesky Silver Surfer character flying around the place making these big craters and spouting off about some 'destroyer of worlds' heading our way.
Everything negative said about this film is probably right. The script is nothing special, it feels contrived in places, the humor sometimes falls flat, some of the effects look dodgy, Galactus is done wrong, the film is totally hamstrung by the casting of Jessica Alba but you know what?
Didn't care that much.
It's froth. It's a summer blockbuster that knows it is and doesn't try any more than that. It's not a classic and doesn't try to be. It simply tries to entertain you for an hour or so and in that respect it succeeds.
And whilst you're in the cinema you enjoy the interplay between the Thing and the Human Torch, the Surfer looks spot on grade A fantastic, the film cracks along at a great pace and I didn't look at my watch until just before the end credits.
And then you walk out and pick holes in it. Dr Doom, damnit, how hard would it really be do to him properly and regally? His re-entrance kinda makes sense and does doff it's hat to a story in the FF comic. Don't get me started on Galactus.
Jessica Alba. Worst casting ever. It's worth pointing out that in pretty much every scene where's she's being a scientist and looking at complicated things on screens that she's wearing glasses.
Worst casting ever.
So, I enjoyed it, won't be getting the DVD, hope Galactus is done properly in the inevitable sequel, forgot most of it already.
The film gets a dagger. A cheap one but still useful.
To be honest, I bet most of the reviews of this film were written before the trailer came out. The first film version of the FF received a critical mauling but did enough at the box office to make a sequel worth while.
So here we are. All of the Fantastic Four are back with this pesky Silver Surfer character flying around the place making these big craters and spouting off about some 'destroyer of worlds' heading our way.
Everything negative said about this film is probably right. The script is nothing special, it feels contrived in places, the humor sometimes falls flat, some of the effects look dodgy, Galactus is done wrong, the film is totally hamstrung by the casting of Jessica Alba but you know what?
Didn't care that much.
It's froth. It's a summer blockbuster that knows it is and doesn't try any more than that. It's not a classic and doesn't try to be. It simply tries to entertain you for an hour or so and in that respect it succeeds.
And whilst you're in the cinema you enjoy the interplay between the Thing and the Human Torch, the Surfer looks spot on grade A fantastic, the film cracks along at a great pace and I didn't look at my watch until just before the end credits.
And then you walk out and pick holes in it. Dr Doom, damnit, how hard would it really be do to him properly and regally? His re-entrance kinda makes sense and does doff it's hat to a story in the FF comic. Don't get me started on Galactus.
Jessica Alba. Worst casting ever. It's worth pointing out that in pretty much every scene where's she's being a scientist and looking at complicated things on screens that she's wearing glasses.
Worst casting ever.
So, I enjoyed it, won't be getting the DVD, hope Galactus is done properly in the inevitable sequel, forgot most of it already.
The film gets a dagger. A cheap one but still useful.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Somebody give me their goddamn credit card
I need this game. Now. I would steal a PS2 from a disabled 6 year old orphan who was given the console after a charity saved for months, forgoing food to buy the poor child a PlayStation. And I would steal it from them without a second thought if it meant I got to play that game.
I am not lying.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Holy Mother of God
That is, like, insane. I barely got 90% on that song on Easy mode.
Colour me stunned.
I have never been so impressed by shorts
So I've made my decision.
I'm throwing my weight behind Blu-Ray in the current format war. This is due to two reasons:
1) Me and my good friend Meat walked into Dixons and saw a demo of NBA 2K7 for the PS3. Now, I would stick in a gratuitous YouTube video but a small flash video would not do justice to what I saw running on that LCD TV.
I've seen the PS3 videos online, seen the Formula 1 game running on big in store displays but all that looked...not impressive. Like an X-Box could run it.
But that NBA game. To see the detail on the player models, the animation, the way the players uniforms moved, the animation in the crowd, I was stunned. I was finally sold on the next-gen consoles.
2) Browsing in HMV I saw The Fountain on Blu-Ray. Didn't see it in the HD-DVD section. Final nail in the coffin.
Of course the PS3 wraps up the games and Blu-Ray in one neat little, sorry, towering package. But, despite my decision, it can wait until the PS3 is under £250. Way under.
Waaaaaay under.
I'm throwing my weight behind Blu-Ray in the current format war. This is due to two reasons:
1) Me and my good friend Meat walked into Dixons and saw a demo of NBA 2K7 for the PS3. Now, I would stick in a gratuitous YouTube video but a small flash video would not do justice to what I saw running on that LCD TV.
I've seen the PS3 videos online, seen the Formula 1 game running on big in store displays but all that looked...not impressive. Like an X-Box could run it.
But that NBA game. To see the detail on the player models, the animation, the way the players uniforms moved, the animation in the crowd, I was stunned. I was finally sold on the next-gen consoles.
2) Browsing in HMV I saw The Fountain on Blu-Ray. Didn't see it in the HD-DVD section. Final nail in the coffin.
Of course the PS3 wraps up the games and Blu-Ray in one neat little, sorry, towering package. But, despite my decision, it can wait until the PS3 is under £250. Way under.
Waaaaaay under.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Pedestrian < Driver
Had my first driving lesson today. By driving I mean started, drove forward a bit, stopped, drove forward a bit more, stopped again, drove forward some more, went round a freaking roundabout, stopped.
Oh yeah. First steps, my friend. Soon I'll be powering down those motorways going to seaside locations and everything.
After I pass my test.
And buy a car.
I drove today!
TEAM!
Oh yeah. First steps, my friend. Soon I'll be powering down those motorways going to seaside locations and everything.
After I pass my test.
And buy a car.
I drove today!
TEAM!
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