Nearly forgot Norbit, biggest mistake of all

Recently been listening to the Adam & Joe podcats from their radio show on Xfm, just listened to one where they reviewed Superman Returns, which was spot on: first hour great, after that bobbins.

But why bobbins? Simple. One of the greatest film mistakes ever, which was

SPOILERS! SPOILERS BE HERE!

giving Superman a son. Ridiculous. How is that going to work in the sequel? The problem with doing a Superman story is that he's Superman. Any problem you can think of he can get out of, you never feel like he's in danger so no tension. And now they're going to have two Supermen which doubles the problem. Big mistake that there is no way out of short of ignoring the first film.

Other huge film mistakes include: Godfather Part III; casting Leo in Gangs on New York; not giving South Park the Best Song Oscar for Blame Canada; the career of Sylvester Stallone excluding Cliffhanger, Rocky 3 and First Blood.

Sorry, couldn't resist

Looking for those Family Guy videos got me looking for others and I found this one, one of the best Family Guy bits ever:



A slice of fried gold.

Best. TV Show. Ever

I love Family Guy. I think it's great that despite being cancelled twice it's still going and lots of people actually like it. In fact, when Channel 4 did a list of the Top 100 Cartoons Family Guy actually got in at number 5, which astonished me no end.

So I was watching it last night and saw 2 episodes that had 3 bits that just left me unable to breathe. The first is as follows:



What makes this clip so great is the little bits that are just like the actual A-Team credits: Hannibal in the monster suit, the cylon, Mr T's slow turn in the car...faultless. Then in the next episode it hit me with this:



Now, I was only vaugely aware of this internet meme before but this was such a surreal moment in the show that I laughed like an idiot.

Obviously, the Family Guy people knew I was now softened up so they went in for the kill:



That was it. I couldn't breathe. Tears were streaming down my face. Like the A-Team bit, the genius of this was all the little bits that were the same as the film: falling off the cliff, pulling out Peter's heart, the mine chase.

I love Family Guy.

The Internet Nearly Let Me Down

I first saw this advert on Tuesday and, my God, I nearly exploded with laughter. Seriously. I almost died. Couldn't breathe. And I thought I should blog this, everyone should see this. So I searched for it.

Nothing.

Nothing!

I was shocked, no one had put this advert on the net, couldn't find anything on any official site. Nothing. I had to wait until today and thank God for YouTube. So here it is folks, the best advert ever in the world ever:



Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Just in case you were wondering: the bruising has gone down but it's still sore

Bit of a gap: this may be due to my lovely wife suddenly getting an addicition to MySpace. I mean, it was like from nothing to hyperspace in one ad break.

Also, have really done anything in the last week or so. Been a bit boring really.

Hmm.

Good Lord

Here's a shocker: Ed Norton is reported to be cast as the lead in the new Incredible Hulk movie. That's some big casting, considering the film was previously rumoured to be direct to video with David Duchovny as the lead. Ed Norton is a bit of a step up.

This is, of course, all thanks to the big movie deal Marvel signed a while back. But even with money behind them, getting someone like Norton casted really cements their position in Hollywood.

But you know what, I liked Ang Lee's Hulk. Yeah, it was goofy and a bit daft but I went with it and enjoyed it. Plus, the big ass plastic special edition DVD box was awesome.

I like nice boxes.

The Saga Continues

Thought you'd all like an update:

Yeah, if those other toes are still black tomorrow I'm going to the doctors.

Film review: Sunshine

Sunshine @ IMDB

First off all, rather than going to my usual rubbish cinema I went to the one in the next town over which is the same chain but much much better.

Well, hobbled there all thanks to my smashed up toe.

Myself and my friends got there about 40 minutues before it started and being that the cinema is so close to the town centre we thought we'd go grab a burger. Now, the time for the film was 1645 and the guy at the counter said it would start at five past five. We roll back in at the cinema just before 5, go to our screen and the damn film had already started.

Son of a bitch.

So, unless something really cool/rubbish happened in the first few minutes, take my review with a pinch of salt. Basically, I loved it. Loved the concept, loved the look of the film, liked the performemces. Even Chris Evans who was such a plank in Fantastic Four came out of the film with some kudos.

Yes, you can argue that the film does borrow heavily from other films in similar genres; you've got the setting of Alien, mix that with a bit of Event Horizon but much much much better and finally season with 2001. But in the same way that Shaun of The Dead borrowed from films in it's genres, Sunshine is it's own film that can stand proudly on it's own two feet.

Will be getting the DVD. As for a weapon, one of those three sectioned nunchukas.

And finally, as promised earlier:



Oh, my lord, did wearing shoes and trying to walk hurt. Hurt real, real bad.

A few things

1) Thinking back to when I saw 300 last week, I am now of the opinion that the guy playing King Leonidas is channeling the spirit of British actor Brian Blessed. Observe:

Gerard Butler in 300

Brian Blessed in Flash Gordon

2) I cracked my little toe against a box last night and my God does it hurt. I looked down and my toe was sticking out away from my foot and I thought "do my feet always look like that or have I proper broken my toe?" Luckily, after extensive wiggling, it appears that the bone is okay there is just a massive lump and bruise which has turned half of my toe black and the top of my foot looks bruised as well.

I may post a picture of it later.

3) When I saw 300 the first time I saw the last Spider-Man 3 trailer which pretty heavily features Venom. But my thought was: what the Hell happened to Sandman? Wasn't he supposed to be the main guy in this film? How is this going to work with these two plus the new Green Goblin? I have faith in Raimi, I do but I do wonder if too much is being thrown at this film, like in X-Men 3 which had about 3 films smooshed into one.

I wish I was American

There's a new entrant in the 2008 US Presidential Elections.

Christopher Goddamn Walker.

That's Christopher "Deer Hunter, King of New York, Dead Zone" Walken. President.

Hell, I'd vote for him in a heartbeat. Remember when he played that gangster in True Romance? When he killed Dennis Hopper? Imagine that guy stood in front of the UN. God, I wish I could vote for him. I bet his policies are all to do with how to make your hair as big as possible, exploring the fine line between unsettling and psychopathic and impromptu dancing.

This had better not be a joke.

--UPDATE--

Goddamnit, I should have known better. I could really just delete this post but I think it should stand as a warning, both to myself and others, to really check things out before posting something that will make myself look really, really stupid.

Phil = Doofus

Boy, did I have egg on my face

There should have been a review of Sunshine here today but that will be delayed until next week when I get round to seeing it. My friend Meat wanted to see 300 yesterday so I had to take one for the team and see it again. But seeing as I get free(ish) cinema what do I care? The only issue was me getting the cinema times confused and turning up at the wrong time and arguing with the ticket guy about when the film was on.

This embarrasment was only beaten when we turned up for the film 2 and a bit hours later and the same person was at the counter.

Grr.

I also, as it was Easter Sunday yesterday, watched a bit of The Passion of The Christ. Well, flicked between that and The Punisher. I only wanted to see the violent bits at the end which, fair play, were quite violent. I am confused though, why you would make a film to spread the word of Christianity but then make it an 18 certificate film?

That Mel Gibson. What a loony.

Never question me

Now. I go back in time for this post, unsure for how long but for a few years. Me and my good friend Ryan are walking to the cinema. I forget how but a discussion begins about snacks and eventually leads to the ultimate question:

Does a tortilla hat exist?

You may remember Homer had one in an episode of The Simpsons. Obviously that was a cartoon so what about in real life? I, as the eternal optimist, said of course. Ryan, as the grizzled realist, said don't be an idiot. The debate raged back of forth and we both drudgingly settled on the idea that you could have a sombrero and fill the rim with chips.

Ryan still didn't believe it would work, however.

Cut to tonight. I'm recording Ugly Betty for my wife who is at work and what is Betty wearing?



A GODDAMN TORTILLA HAT! STICK THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, RYAN! WHO WAS RIGHT? HUH PAL? WHO WAS RIGHT? I WAS RIGHT!

Ahem. Apologies for that, it needed to be said.

Now there's a surprise

There's a report sales of the PS3 have dropped 82 per cent following it's release last week.

I know it's been said before but it's clear the drop is due to the following reason:

£425?!

Wake me up when it's less than £300 then I'll think about it.

I Heart Japan

COOLEST. THING. EVER.

So we're all still here then.

Went to Weston-Super-Mare yesterday, a seeside resort not too far away. Basically sand, pier and sea very far away. A fun time was had by all, highlights including:

- Winning no less than 3 toys from those Crane machines they have in arcades, one on my second go and then following that up with 2 in one. I am the master.
- My wife dropping a portion of fish and chips, her fork for her lunch and the cap for our son's bottle of water and not once was it my fault
- Buying The Walking Dead volume 3

Lowlights are restricted the amount of chavs and lowlifes hanging around the place. I guess living in a place that survives as a seaside resort would, after a few years, turn anyone to cynicism.

Another highlight was finding in the amusement arcade on the pier a new After Burner and, even better it was the Deluxe cabinet: big ass screen, the whole thing is on hydraulics that throw you around as you fire hot missile death at the enemy with the explosions booming out of the powerful sound system. Very fun.

But not as fun as a machine I saw once in Blackpool, the near legendary R360 cabinet. This was basically an After Burner style game but the main selling point was that this cabinet could do a COMPLETE 360 DEGREE SPIN IN ANY DIRECTION. Awesome. Unfortunatly, I couldn't get a go when I saw it as I couldn't find an attendent to operate it. Boo hiss indeed.

And my wife nearly sank in some mud on the beach. Trust me, it was funny if you were there.

And as for the GTAIV trailer: looks alright. New York looks cool. Would have liked to have seen a bit more of the game considering the build up. Any of the game would have been good.