Sunday, December 23, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
*sigh*
The screen on my laptop broke. The screen went dark but I could still make out stuff on the screen so I'm guessing that the backlight broke.
Now I have to use the old laptop again. Everything looks small and the screen isn't as nice and the keys are different and I can't burn DVDs or anything.
Sucks.
The warranty should cover it but first I've got to get Sony to pick the damn thing up.
I'm guessing this could be the first of a series of posts.
And I failed my driving test.
*sigh*
Now I have to use the old laptop again. Everything looks small and the screen isn't as nice and the keys are different and I can't burn DVDs or anything.
Sucks.
The warranty should cover it but first I've got to get Sony to pick the damn thing up.
I'm guessing this could be the first of a series of posts.
And I failed my driving test.
*sigh*
Friday, December 14, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Goddamn those Ninja Yakuzas!
Yeah, there is no way that is getting a UK cinema release. How the Hell do they get away with that stuff?
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Those Wii jokes aren't so funny any more, are they?
You know things are going well when you don't even have to advertise your product for it to sell really well.
You know, I remember having a GameCube and watching it die a painful death whilst everyone else ignored it. One silly name and new control scheme later and they've conquered the world.
Again.
You know, I remember having a GameCube and watching it die a painful death whilst everyone else ignored it. One silly name and new control scheme later and they've conquered the world.
Again.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Looks like the internet is going to break again.
The new Grand Theft Auto IV trailer is up, so the internet will no doubt slow to a crawl.
Thoughts? It's undeniable that the game looks great. But my concern is how the thing is going to control. That's going to be the biggest thing. It can look as great as any Hollywood summer blockbuster but if it still controls like a dog whenever you try to shoot something then what's the point of all the fancy next-gen hi-def razzamatazz?
I'm going to hold off my final opinion until I see actual gameplay footage. That or play it. That'd be nice.
Thoughts? It's undeniable that the game looks great. But my concern is how the thing is going to control. That's going to be the biggest thing. It can look as great as any Hollywood summer blockbuster but if it still controls like a dog whenever you try to shoot something then what's the point of all the fancy next-gen hi-def razzamatazz?
I'm going to hold off my final opinion until I see actual gameplay footage. That or play it. That'd be nice.
Jail time occurs in real time
They won't be able to hold him. I give it a week before he escapes in a hail of gunfire.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Film Review: America Gangster
American Gangster @ IMDB
Last time we did the equation Russel Crowe + Ridley Scott (ignoring A Good Year for obvious reasons) we had the cinematic juggernaut that was Gladiator. Unleash Hell and all that.
So what do we get this time? We get Russel Crowe as an incorruptible New York cop tasked with bringing down major drug lords. A pure brand of heroin is flooding the streets and no one knows where it's coming from. But wait, who's this in a very expensive looking chinchilla fur coat? Why, it's academy award winning actor Denzel Washington!
The easiest comparison: Heat, in that you have two heavyweight actors that don't actually share a scene until the end. Other nods and hats tipped to include The French Connection and Goodfellas. Illustrious company, that goes without saying. Can the film stand amongst them?
Yeah. It's not quite the masterpiece it wants to be but you can't fault it. Both leads are great, the look of the film is superb, the plot engrossing. This is Russel Crowe from The Insider rather than Cinderella Man, which can only be a good thing. Denzel is Denzel.
My only concern: it hasn't quite got the iconic scene that the other films have: the bank robbery from Heat, the car chase from French Connection, pretty much any scene you fancy from Goodfellas. Don't get me wrong, the film is great but you just wanted that one great scene to push it over the top. Whether or not this means that the film will stand the test of time is a question that will have to wait for a while.
It's also a long film so pack a cushion.
So, great film, no complaints. My only problem was that my free cinema card didn't work so I had to pay. That sucked.
The film gets a pair of knuckle dusters, the ideal thing to beat lowlifes with to prove who is in charge.
Last time we did the equation Russel Crowe + Ridley Scott (ignoring A Good Year for obvious reasons) we had the cinematic juggernaut that was Gladiator. Unleash Hell and all that.
So what do we get this time? We get Russel Crowe as an incorruptible New York cop tasked with bringing down major drug lords. A pure brand of heroin is flooding the streets and no one knows where it's coming from. But wait, who's this in a very expensive looking chinchilla fur coat? Why, it's academy award winning actor Denzel Washington!
The easiest comparison: Heat, in that you have two heavyweight actors that don't actually share a scene until the end. Other nods and hats tipped to include The French Connection and Goodfellas. Illustrious company, that goes without saying. Can the film stand amongst them?
Yeah. It's not quite the masterpiece it wants to be but you can't fault it. Both leads are great, the look of the film is superb, the plot engrossing. This is Russel Crowe from The Insider rather than Cinderella Man, which can only be a good thing. Denzel is Denzel.
My only concern: it hasn't quite got the iconic scene that the other films have: the bank robbery from Heat, the car chase from French Connection, pretty much any scene you fancy from Goodfellas. Don't get me wrong, the film is great but you just wanted that one great scene to push it over the top. Whether or not this means that the film will stand the test of time is a question that will have to wait for a while.
It's also a long film so pack a cushion.
So, great film, no complaints. My only problem was that my free cinema card didn't work so I had to pay. That sucked.
The film gets a pair of knuckle dusters, the ideal thing to beat lowlifes with to prove who is in charge.
Seriously! Why?
Okay, fine, THIS is the most disgusting thing ever.
I just don't understand. Did I miss a meeting? When did we decide vomit was sexy?
I just don't understand. Did I miss a meeting? When did we decide vomit was sexy?
I had to wipe the sick out of my keyboard
The most disgusting thing ever.
I apologise in advance. If you can make it to the end you're a stronger person than I am. Or you just enjoy the sight of two women, a cup full of pooh and vomit.
Oh god, now I have to go be sick again.
I apologise in advance. If you can make it to the end you're a stronger person than I am. Or you just enjoy the sight of two women, a cup full of pooh and vomit.
Oh god, now I have to go be sick again.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Film review: Beowulf
Beowulf @ IMDB
So, a while ago I watched The Polar Express for the first time. Scariest film since The Evil Dead.
Why is that? Performance capture. You get some actors in suits, hook them up to computers and record their motion, slap some CG on it and you get Gollum from Lord of The Rings. A visual aid for you:
You see? The actors motions are captured and you get the CG character on screen. Unfortunately, in The Polar Express, you get zombie eyed kids that look like they're from Malcom In The Middle:
But this was several years ago and now we get Beowulf, using the same techniques. And this time, instead of kids and Christmas, we get swords and monsters.
For those of you who haven't studied the ancient Anglo-Saxon poem that is Beowulf, you've got some vaguely Viking-esque folk livin' it up in their village when a big monster comes along and throws some spanners into the works. Beowulf then shows up to make with the monster killing.
It's undeniable that the film (mostly) looks amazing. The CG world looks amazingly realistic and gives the director Robert Zemeckis freedom to do all manner of freaky camera moves. The characters are a step up from the horrific Express film, the lead characters that is. Beowulf, taking up the majority of the screen time, is especially detailed. Peripheral characters, less so.
The monster, though, is astounding. It's an amazing creation, something that should stand the test of time. He just looks painful, his skin peeled away, organs visible, he looks like a creature in torment so you can understand why he lashes out.
He is also the star of the best sequences in the film.
Problems? The Beowulf/Grendel smackdown is kind of ruined by Beowulf being naked. You end up with a procession of objects preserving his modesty, like in Austin Powers. It kind of makes no sense. And as good as the film looks, it still looks like CG and the characters still look...weird. A Pixar film, in my opinion, will hold up longer than this kind of film. The Pixar film creates it's own world, staying on the right side of cartoony. Beowulf will not age well, you only have to look at Polar Express and the Final Fantasy film to see that realism doesn't last. Toy Story, meanwhile, still looks as good as ever.
I also wanted the film to go further, violence wise. It's a 12A but when Grendel attacks you only see shadows and suggestion. People get ripped in half but it seems to be holding itself back. Like Die Hard 4.0, you get the feeling it was edited to get a lower certificate to get a wider audience.
And there's a ridiculous bit where Beowulf kills a monster and, for no discernible reason, shouts his own name. Looks fun, but silly.
That's the best description for the film really. Silly. Overblown silliness that just about holds it together between the action sequences.
Ninja weapon? Big two handed sword for killing stuff. PHIL!
So, a while ago I watched The Polar Express for the first time. Scariest film since The Evil Dead.
Why is that? Performance capture. You get some actors in suits, hook them up to computers and record their motion, slap some CG on it and you get Gollum from Lord of The Rings. A visual aid for you:
You see? The actors motions are captured and you get the CG character on screen. Unfortunately, in The Polar Express, you get zombie eyed kids that look like they're from Malcom In The Middle:
But this was several years ago and now we get Beowulf, using the same techniques. And this time, instead of kids and Christmas, we get swords and monsters.
For those of you who haven't studied the ancient Anglo-Saxon poem that is Beowulf, you've got some vaguely Viking-esque folk livin' it up in their village when a big monster comes along and throws some spanners into the works. Beowulf then shows up to make with the monster killing.
It's undeniable that the film (mostly) looks amazing. The CG world looks amazingly realistic and gives the director Robert Zemeckis freedom to do all manner of freaky camera moves. The characters are a step up from the horrific Express film, the lead characters that is. Beowulf, taking up the majority of the screen time, is especially detailed. Peripheral characters, less so.
The monster, though, is astounding. It's an amazing creation, something that should stand the test of time. He just looks painful, his skin peeled away, organs visible, he looks like a creature in torment so you can understand why he lashes out.
He is also the star of the best sequences in the film.
Problems? The Beowulf/Grendel smackdown is kind of ruined by Beowulf being naked. You end up with a procession of objects preserving his modesty, like in Austin Powers. It kind of makes no sense. And as good as the film looks, it still looks like CG and the characters still look...weird. A Pixar film, in my opinion, will hold up longer than this kind of film. The Pixar film creates it's own world, staying on the right side of cartoony. Beowulf will not age well, you only have to look at Polar Express and the Final Fantasy film to see that realism doesn't last. Toy Story, meanwhile, still looks as good as ever.
I also wanted the film to go further, violence wise. It's a 12A but when Grendel attacks you only see shadows and suggestion. People get ripped in half but it seems to be holding itself back. Like Die Hard 4.0, you get the feeling it was edited to get a lower certificate to get a wider audience.
And there's a ridiculous bit where Beowulf kills a monster and, for no discernible reason, shouts his own name. Looks fun, but silly.
That's the best description for the film really. Silly. Overblown silliness that just about holds it together between the action sequences.
Ninja weapon? Big two handed sword for killing stuff. PHIL!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Doesn't bode well.
The creator of Heroes apologies to fans for the poor start to the second season? Don't like the sound of that. I know it will be some time until I get to see the second series, thanks to my morals stopping me from downloading episodes and violating copyright.
By morals, I mean wife.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Too excited to think of a decent title!
New Cloverfield trailer!
Annoyingly, the movie it was attached to in the US was Beowulf. What did I see at the cinema tonight? Beowulf. Did I see the trailer? Nope.
UK sucks.
Annoyingly, the movie it was attached to in the US was Beowulf. What did I see at the cinema tonight? Beowulf. Did I see the trailer? Nope.
UK sucks.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sonnuvabitch!
So I fire up the Cineworld website to find a time to go see Planet Terror, no mention of the film on the website. I go to the Odeon website, the nearest cinema showing it is Norwich.
Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. Time to buy the American DVD then.
Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. Time to buy the American DVD then.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
What can I say, I had a lots of bills that week
Glad to see I wasn't the only one.
To be fair, I did buy the special edition of Amnesiac which wasn't cheap. My conscience is clear.
To be fair, I did buy the special edition of Amnesiac which wasn't cheap. My conscience is clear.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Film review: 30 Days of Night
30 Days of Night @ IMDB
You can tell Halloween has just passed. Horror films are everywhere at the moment which is where Josh Hartnett and a posse of vampires come in.
Mr Harnett is the sheriff of the most Northern town in the US, practically in the arctic. And every year the sun sets and night lasts for 30 days, most of the townsfolk travel south leaving a few hardy people left. Now. What mythical creatures hate the sunlight, like to feast on innocents and look great covered in blood on film posters?
Yep, vampires.
So, at the very least, it's a great set up. The whole mood is foreboding right from the start. Let's get this straight, this is a vampire film where nothing good happens. It starts with a pack of dogs being killed and goes downhill from there. The brutality of the vampires is unflinchingly shown it all it's gory glory. One of the best sequences is an aerial shot of the town showing the vampires tearing through the people; you see people on the floor being ripped to shreds, gunshots going off, blood smeared across the white snow.
So the vampires are great. The survivors hide and begin to try to survive the next 30 days. Maybe this section does sag in what is essentially lots of scenes of people sat around in a loft trying not to make much noise. But you get those stings of violence that keeps the film going and boy does it get bad for these people.
No spoilers but I have to mention a 6 year old vampire girl. And the only way to kill the vampires is to cut their heads of with a freaking axe. Do the math.
Oh, and it's another comic film. First of a trilogy. Haven't read the comic but want to now.
So it was great. No problems with any of the performances, the film never goes with the easy cliches and the ending is punch in the gut.
A word of warning though: this film has the most disturbing end credits, like, ever. Seriously. Worst I've seen since Blair Witch. I saw this with my good friend Ryan and we normally watch the majority of the end credits. We sat there and watched this really unsettling series of twisted images and listened to the bizarre white noise coming from the surround sound.
"Hmm," I said. "These credits are pretty unsettling."
"Yeah, yeah they are," said Ryan. Beat. "Can we go now?"
"Sure," I said and we ran out of there like scared kittens.
Weapon wise, nothing but an axe.
You can tell Halloween has just passed. Horror films are everywhere at the moment which is where Josh Hartnett and a posse of vampires come in.
Mr Harnett is the sheriff of the most Northern town in the US, practically in the arctic. And every year the sun sets and night lasts for 30 days, most of the townsfolk travel south leaving a few hardy people left. Now. What mythical creatures hate the sunlight, like to feast on innocents and look great covered in blood on film posters?
Yep, vampires.
So, at the very least, it's a great set up. The whole mood is foreboding right from the start. Let's get this straight, this is a vampire film where nothing good happens. It starts with a pack of dogs being killed and goes downhill from there. The brutality of the vampires is unflinchingly shown it all it's gory glory. One of the best sequences is an aerial shot of the town showing the vampires tearing through the people; you see people on the floor being ripped to shreds, gunshots going off, blood smeared across the white snow.
So the vampires are great. The survivors hide and begin to try to survive the next 30 days. Maybe this section does sag in what is essentially lots of scenes of people sat around in a loft trying not to make much noise. But you get those stings of violence that keeps the film going and boy does it get bad for these people.
No spoilers but I have to mention a 6 year old vampire girl. And the only way to kill the vampires is to cut their heads of with a freaking axe. Do the math.
Oh, and it's another comic film. First of a trilogy. Haven't read the comic but want to now.
So it was great. No problems with any of the performances, the film never goes with the easy cliches and the ending is punch in the gut.
A word of warning though: this film has the most disturbing end credits, like, ever. Seriously. Worst I've seen since Blair Witch. I saw this with my good friend Ryan and we normally watch the majority of the end credits. We sat there and watched this really unsettling series of twisted images and listened to the bizarre white noise coming from the surround sound.
"Hmm," I said. "These credits are pretty unsettling."
"Yeah, yeah they are," said Ryan. Beat. "Can we go now?"
"Sure," I said and we ran out of there like scared kittens.
Weapon wise, nothing but an axe.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Film review: Ratatouille
Ratatouille @ IMDB
It's hard to approach a review for a Pixar film. Everyone knows they're going to be, at the very least, very enjoyable. Kids will love them and they will make a ton of money.
So it goes for their newest film, Ratatouille, the tale of a rat in Paris that wants to be a chef.
Is it a Toy Story 2? No. But that doesn't matter, it's a great kids film. It doesn't resonate like Finding Nemo does but the story is great, the characters interesting. The film looks amazing, yet again. Somehow Pixar manage to find something else to improve with each film: the food looks amazing, photo realistic in some instances.
The main problem? The length. It is very long for a kids film. I took my son to see this film (his first time at the cinema, no less) and I was worried about whether or not he could sit through all 110 minutes.
To the credit of the film, he near enough did. Only started acting up a couple of minutes from the end.
There's the best review of the film. A three year old was entranced and watched 108 minutes of film before acting up.
It seems strange allocating a ninja weapon for a kids film but what the hell, I'll give this one a meat tenderiser.
It's hard to approach a review for a Pixar film. Everyone knows they're going to be, at the very least, very enjoyable. Kids will love them and they will make a ton of money.
So it goes for their newest film, Ratatouille, the tale of a rat in Paris that wants to be a chef.
Is it a Toy Story 2? No. But that doesn't matter, it's a great kids film. It doesn't resonate like Finding Nemo does but the story is great, the characters interesting. The film looks amazing, yet again. Somehow Pixar manage to find something else to improve with each film: the food looks amazing, photo realistic in some instances.
The main problem? The length. It is very long for a kids film. I took my son to see this film (his first time at the cinema, no less) and I was worried about whether or not he could sit through all 110 minutes.
To the credit of the film, he near enough did. Only started acting up a couple of minutes from the end.
There's the best review of the film. A three year old was entranced and watched 108 minutes of film before acting up.
It seems strange allocating a ninja weapon for a kids film but what the hell, I'll give this one a meat tenderiser.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Looks okay
Nice guns. Looks good, apparently it's not that close to the original comic (which had the main character be the son of a super-villain, as opposed to assassins, who had killed all the superheroes in the world) but, hey, I love guns AND car chases AND cars in mid air so will be willing to give it a try.
And check this out, apparently an animatic for a live action He-Man film that never got made. I would have gone to see it, only if they re-cast Dolph Lundgren. He's unfairly put down upon, in my book.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Film review: Black Sheep
Black Sheep @ IMDB
First things first, this is the tagline for the film for it's release in New Zealand:
There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand...and they're pissed off.
That's the level that this film is aiming for, watch it in a double bill with Dog Soldiers and you've got a great night in.
The plot, for those that require it, involves a sheep farm, genetic experiments, flesh eating sheep and buckets of gore. To be honest, trying to review a film like this is a pointless excercise. You're either going to go with it or hate it. If you liked Bad Taste, Braindead, Evil Dead 2 or Shaun of The Dead then you'll love this film. To really enjoy this film you have to be the kind of person that can accept the fact that if you're bitten by one of the flesh eating sheep then you turn into a Were-Sheep.
In fact, the Bad Taste/Braindead thing is a good link as not only do they share New Zealand origins but Weta Workshop did the effects on this film, Weta of course being Peter "Bad Taste" Jackson's effects company. It has the same goofy energy as Bad Taste, the same bad acting, the same plot holes and I love the fact that this film got released.
In conclusion, not for everyone but if you get it you'll like it. The best Ninja weapon for this film is the nearest blunt object you can grab to smash over the head of the next sheep that tries to bite you.
First things first, this is the tagline for the film for it's release in New Zealand:
There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand...and they're pissed off.
That's the level that this film is aiming for, watch it in a double bill with Dog Soldiers and you've got a great night in.
The plot, for those that require it, involves a sheep farm, genetic experiments, flesh eating sheep and buckets of gore. To be honest, trying to review a film like this is a pointless excercise. You're either going to go with it or hate it. If you liked Bad Taste, Braindead, Evil Dead 2 or Shaun of The Dead then you'll love this film. To really enjoy this film you have to be the kind of person that can accept the fact that if you're bitten by one of the flesh eating sheep then you turn into a Were-Sheep.
In fact, the Bad Taste/Braindead thing is a good link as not only do they share New Zealand origins but Weta Workshop did the effects on this film, Weta of course being Peter "Bad Taste" Jackson's effects company. It has the same goofy energy as Bad Taste, the same bad acting, the same plot holes and I love the fact that this film got released.
In conclusion, not for everyone but if you get it you'll like it. The best Ninja weapon for this film is the nearest blunt object you can grab to smash over the head of the next sheep that tries to bite you.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
This'll win over the Church people
Apparently, J K Rowling has revealed that Dumbledore from the Harry Potter books is gay. Having read all the book, the thought of that didn't even cross my mind.
Not that I'm being bigoted or anything, just that I didn't think about his sexual preferences. Went straight under my gaydar.
Now, of course, the Internet is going to be flooded by jokes/pictures/clips of Dumbledore encouraging Harry to touch his wand. Or replacing Dumbledore with Freddie Mercury in stills from the film.
It writes itself, really.
Not that I'm being bigoted or anything, just that I didn't think about his sexual preferences. Went straight under my gaydar.
Now, of course, the Internet is going to be flooded by jokes/pictures/clips of Dumbledore encouraging Harry to touch his wand. Or replacing Dumbledore with Freddie Mercury in stills from the film.
It writes itself, really.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
That was unexpected
Hmm. Not sure what to think about that. Is Street Fighter still relevant or should it be left in the arcades of 1992? I guess we'll find out next year when the game gets released.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
*sigh*
There go my dreams of getting a PS3 anytime soon.
Despite the recent price cut Sony have now announced that the 60gb version, the full version, is going to be discontinued in favour of the new 40gb version with no PS2 backwards compatibility.
It's just...but...why would...gah! It makes no sense! Why does Europe get to be screwed over yet again by a major console manufacturer? Not even Nintendo hated Europe enough to actually take stuff out of consoles they had already released. Surely the idea is to expand the consoles during their life not take stuff out.
See, I wanted to get a PS3 then get some old cheap PS2 classics like God Hand, We Love Katamari, Disgea, Okami, cheap good games.
But no. Not anymore. Idiots.
Despite the recent price cut Sony have now announced that the 60gb version, the full version, is going to be discontinued in favour of the new 40gb version with no PS2 backwards compatibility.
It's just...but...why would...gah! It makes no sense! Why does Europe get to be screwed over yet again by a major console manufacturer? Not even Nintendo hated Europe enough to actually take stuff out of consoles they had already released. Surely the idea is to expand the consoles during their life not take stuff out.
See, I wanted to get a PS3 then get some old cheap PS2 classics like God Hand, We Love Katamari, Disgea, Okami, cheap good games.
But no. Not anymore. Idiots.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Not again.
Walked into a goddamn door with the same goddamn toe as before. Bruised again, hurts again. And it annoys me that Planet Terror still has no UK release date despite being released in France, Sweden, Holland, Estonia, Greece and, next week, Germany.
Why do they get machine guns for legs and we don't?
I did stumble across this "international" trailer for the film:
And, even better, apparently Fergie gets killed in it.
Why do they get machine guns for legs and we don't?
I did stumble across this "international" trailer for the film:
And, even better, apparently Fergie gets killed in it.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Film review: Death Proof
Death Proof @ IMDB
It's pretty much common knowledge that the original vision of this film was as part of the Grindhouse double bill which flopped big time on it's release. This is despite a machine gun for a leg in the trailer. Stupid Americans. So, for the UK release it has been split into two full length films. Without the fake trailers. And no release date for the second part of Grindhouse, the one with the machine gun for a leg, Planet Terror.
Far from ideal.
But, hey, it's a new Tarantino film which can't be a bad thing. So in this love letter to 70s exploitation films we get Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike, a crazed psychopath who stalks young women before killing them with his eponymous death proof car.
Which is pretty much the entire plot. Stuntman Mike stalks some people, kills them, stalks some more, they fight back, the end. What you get is a lot of talking. A lot of talking. Remember the diner scene in Reservoir Dogs? The whole bit about Like A Virgin being about big dicks? Imagine that for three quarters of an entire film.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. The dialogue fizzes and flies like you'd expect, the characters voices are nailed down and it entertains. Kurt Russell is great, no one drops the ball performance wise.
But there is a lot of talking. There is a nasty car crash that keeps you going but there is a lot of talking.
But here's the thing. Just as I was thinking "gee, this talking is starting to drag a wee bit", Tarantino brings out one of the most stunning chase sequences in cinema. This is not a joke. This is pure, no CG, lady on a bonnet, high speed car mayhem. I didn't blink for ten minutes. Simply outstanding.
So it's well worth seeing as long as you realize and accept that you have to wait. Just be patient. Listen to the dialogue and the talking and just wait. And you will be rewarded.
The only possible ninja weapon this film can get is a car.
It's pretty much common knowledge that the original vision of this film was as part of the Grindhouse double bill which flopped big time on it's release. This is despite a machine gun for a leg in the trailer. Stupid Americans. So, for the UK release it has been split into two full length films. Without the fake trailers. And no release date for the second part of Grindhouse, the one with the machine gun for a leg, Planet Terror.
Far from ideal.
But, hey, it's a new Tarantino film which can't be a bad thing. So in this love letter to 70s exploitation films we get Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike, a crazed psychopath who stalks young women before killing them with his eponymous death proof car.
Which is pretty much the entire plot. Stuntman Mike stalks some people, kills them, stalks some more, they fight back, the end. What you get is a lot of talking. A lot of talking. Remember the diner scene in Reservoir Dogs? The whole bit about Like A Virgin being about big dicks? Imagine that for three quarters of an entire film.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. The dialogue fizzes and flies like you'd expect, the characters voices are nailed down and it entertains. Kurt Russell is great, no one drops the ball performance wise.
But there is a lot of talking. There is a nasty car crash that keeps you going but there is a lot of talking.
But here's the thing. Just as I was thinking "gee, this talking is starting to drag a wee bit", Tarantino brings out one of the most stunning chase sequences in cinema. This is not a joke. This is pure, no CG, lady on a bonnet, high speed car mayhem. I didn't blink for ten minutes. Simply outstanding.
So it's well worth seeing as long as you realize and accept that you have to wait. Just be patient. Listen to the dialogue and the talking and just wait. And you will be rewarded.
The only possible ninja weapon this film can get is a car.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Another fine mess Warner Brothers is dragging us into
So. Warner Brothers have announced the director for the upcoming Justice League movie.
Hmm.
Not sure if this is a good idea. If we take Grant Morrison's JLA as the team benchmark that means this film will star Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Aquaman and the Martian Manhunter at least. Now, Supes and Bats are sorted out, everyone knows them. Wonder Woman had a TV Series, as did the Flash, but they were cult at best. The others, apart from the Aquaman thing in Entourage, no one will really know about. So let's say you dump GL and the Manhunter and cite budgetary reasons, that's still 3 major origin stories to tell and two recaps in a 2 hour film.
Have these people not seen Spider-Man 3? It's not going to work. Too much story, too little time. They should take a leaf out of Marvel's book with the potential Avengers movie. They've stated that they'll do individual films for the characters first and then, once audience is aware of the characters, make the Avengers film. That's why you've got Iron Man out next year, a Thor movie in the works and a Captain America movie after that.
It makes sense to me.
Hmm.
Not sure if this is a good idea. If we take Grant Morrison's JLA as the team benchmark that means this film will star Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Aquaman and the Martian Manhunter at least. Now, Supes and Bats are sorted out, everyone knows them. Wonder Woman had a TV Series, as did the Flash, but they were cult at best. The others, apart from the Aquaman thing in Entourage, no one will really know about. So let's say you dump GL and the Manhunter and cite budgetary reasons, that's still 3 major origin stories to tell and two recaps in a 2 hour film.
Have these people not seen Spider-Man 3? It's not going to work. Too much story, too little time. They should take a leaf out of Marvel's book with the potential Avengers movie. They've stated that they'll do individual films for the characters first and then, once audience is aware of the characters, make the Avengers film. That's why you've got Iron Man out next year, a Thor movie in the works and a Captain America movie after that.
It makes sense to me.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Proof there is a God
Kanye West beats 50 Cent to the top of the US album charts, invoking 'fiddys' threat to quit music if he is beaten.
Not that I have any great love for Kanye West, I did enjoy Goldigger and his current single, but I do hate 50 Cent. Really offends me. He wasn't shot enough for my liking. So anything that means that I don't have to listen to his "distinctive" vocal skills should be encouraged in my book.
Not that I have any great love for Kanye West, I did enjoy Goldigger and his current single, but I do hate 50 Cent. Really offends me. He wasn't shot enough for my liking. So anything that means that I don't have to listen to his "distinctive" vocal skills should be encouraged in my book.
I wish this game was out when I was thinking of names for my son
As names go, that's simply breathtaking.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tina Turner was wrong: we DO need another hero.
Just finished watching the first season of Heroes thanks to certain avenues *ahem*. I've got to say, my top 3 is now as follows:
3. Lost
2. 24
1. Heroes.
It is just an awesome show. But the great thing is, here is a gigantic validation of all the time and money and tears I've put into comics. The fact that something can be so influenced by American Superhero comics can be one of the highest rated TV shows in the US is, frankly, almost unbelievable.
How can this happen when comics themselves have been struggling for years in the face of crashes and bankrupcies? My wife lapped up this series, stating it was one of her favourite TV shows ever (ever!) yet won't read any of the comics I recommend for her. Is it just the format?
Taking a hard look at it, Heroes takes a lot of it's story cues from the classic comic book stories. Not that this is a bad thing: for someone like me who knows his way round comic history, it's great to see and recognize these nuggets. Yet for my wife, coming across them for the first time, the strength of the story telling comes through despite the change of medium. I love picking out all these references, like
!SPOILERS!
the episode in the future that homages the Days of Future Past X-Men story, or that Linderman's plan is basically the same as Ozymandias' in Watchmen. You get several characters named after various comic creators, the finale takes place in Kirby Plaza...awesome.
I'm guessing one reason for this reverence of comics is the fact that a major comics creator, Jeph Loeb, is the co-executive producer of the show. So he is quickly becoming one of my heroes, not just for helping to create Heroes but also because he co-wrote Teen Wolf and Commando.
I love Commando. Maybe even more than Heroes.
3. Lost
2. 24
1. Heroes.
It is just an awesome show. But the great thing is, here is a gigantic validation of all the time and money and tears I've put into comics. The fact that something can be so influenced by American Superhero comics can be one of the highest rated TV shows in the US is, frankly, almost unbelievable.
How can this happen when comics themselves have been struggling for years in the face of crashes and bankrupcies? My wife lapped up this series, stating it was one of her favourite TV shows ever (ever!) yet won't read any of the comics I recommend for her. Is it just the format?
Taking a hard look at it, Heroes takes a lot of it's story cues from the classic comic book stories. Not that this is a bad thing: for someone like me who knows his way round comic history, it's great to see and recognize these nuggets. Yet for my wife, coming across them for the first time, the strength of the story telling comes through despite the change of medium. I love picking out all these references, like
!SPOILERS!
the episode in the future that homages the Days of Future Past X-Men story, or that Linderman's plan is basically the same as Ozymandias' in Watchmen. You get several characters named after various comic creators, the finale takes place in Kirby Plaza...awesome.
I'm guessing one reason for this reverence of comics is the fact that a major comics creator, Jeph Loeb, is the co-executive producer of the show. So he is quickly becoming one of my heroes, not just for helping to create Heroes but also because he co-wrote Teen Wolf and Commando.
I love Commando. Maybe even more than Heroes.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
I may have to sell some organs. How many lungs do you need?
So Apple have introduced a new a new iPod, the iPod touch. That looks nice. Very nice.
Want one. Want one baaad.
Also, Apple went and knocked $200 off the price of the iPhone and then gave all the people pissed off because they paid $599 for it last week a $100 voucher for the apple store.
Someone needs to email Sony: THAT'S how you do a price cut.
Want one. Want one baaad.
Also, Apple went and knocked $200 off the price of the iPhone and then gave all the people pissed off because they paid $599 for it last week a $100 voucher for the apple store.
Someone needs to email Sony: THAT'S how you do a price cut.
The Great-Second Uncle of All Bombs
Direct steal from The Daily Show, I will admit, but the father of all bombs deserves a blog. A direct quote: "All that is alive merely evaporates."
Now that is a bomb.
Now that is a bomb.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
This is for you, Dutch
As my good friend Ryan as been bugging me to update my blog, I have. And in his honour, here is a song dedicated to him:
Says in song what I feel in my heart. Thinking about you, big guy.
Says in song what I feel in my heart. Thinking about you, big guy.
Film review: Knocked Up
Knocked Up @ IMDB
A little late with the review. I like to keep things topical round here.
Never seen The 40 Year Old Virgin so can't comment on that. But this film comes from the same creators as that rather successful film.
Here we have a slack jawed slacker and a high flying career woman meeting in a bar, getting drunk, getting it on, getting pregnant.
This continues the trend of man-rom-coms (sneaking a romantic comedy under the radar by disguising it in the garb of an Animal House style comedy) and does it really well. I laughed, I was touched, I laughed again. Everyone in the cast is great, the characters draw you in, the jokes keep ticking along. Sure, it isn't perfect. You get a few gaps in the story, a few character issues aren't resolved as well as they could have been but it gets the job done.
Funny?
Tick.
Nicely warm hearted?
Tick.
Best Robert De Niro impression ever in the history of ever?
Tick like a mofo.
This film gets a bendy sword to reflect the sharp wit and slack natured heart of the film.
A little late with the review. I like to keep things topical round here.
Never seen The 40 Year Old Virgin so can't comment on that. But this film comes from the same creators as that rather successful film.
Here we have a slack jawed slacker and a high flying career woman meeting in a bar, getting drunk, getting it on, getting pregnant.
This continues the trend of man-rom-coms (sneaking a romantic comedy under the radar by disguising it in the garb of an Animal House style comedy) and does it really well. I laughed, I was touched, I laughed again. Everyone in the cast is great, the characters draw you in, the jokes keep ticking along. Sure, it isn't perfect. You get a few gaps in the story, a few character issues aren't resolved as well as they could have been but it gets the job done.
Funny?
Tick.
Nicely warm hearted?
Tick.
Best Robert De Niro impression ever in the history of ever?
Tick like a mofo.
This film gets a bendy sword to reflect the sharp wit and slack natured heart of the film.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Damn straight 2: Damn straightier
Which 24 Character Are You? | |
 | You are Jack Bauer. You are an aggressive and heroic figure. You think rules are only for kids, and try to break them at least once everyday (or hour). You like to get help from others especially your best friends. To complete a task, you are willing to do whatever it takes - be it the right way or the wrong one. Also, you could totally kick Chuck Norris' ass. |
| Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com | |
I KNEW IT!
Damn straight.
Which Heroes Character Are You? | |
 | You are Hiro. You are everyones favorite Japanese tourist. Your time is well-managed and you make sure things get done. On top of that, the girls always want a second chance with you. |
| Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com | |
I always knew, deep down, that I was born to be a Japanese nerd.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Maybe we'll win this time
Bill Bailey previews his entry into next year's Eurovision:
This isn't a joke, by the way so is very awesome.
Hopefully that will get his excellent TV series released on DVD.
This isn't a joke, by the way so is very awesome.
Hopefully that will get his excellent TV series released on DVD.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Dammit!
Again the BBC teases me. See this story on their website, the headline when it appeared in my morning news alert was "Monster attack steals user data". I naturally thought this was an actual monster attack not an attack on the Monster job website.
Dammit.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Film review: The Bourne Ultimatum
The Bourne Ultimatum @ IMDB
The review begins, as ever, with a tale.
My good friend Ryan called and asked if we'd like to go catch the new Bourne film. I said, hey, I love Jason Bourne films. He killed a guy with a magazine and a toaster. What's not to love about that?
So he said it's on at 6, he checked teletext, I said cool, it's a date. So he picked me up from my work place, we drove down to the cinema, looked at some Transformers*, strolled across to Burger King, grabbed a burger and chewed the fat both figuratively and literally.
Then I get a phone call. My other good friend, Meat, is joining us and since it's nearly 6 he's already at the cinema.
And there's no 6 o'clock showing of Bourne. The conversation pretty much went like this:
"Really?"
"Yeah, there's nothing on the screens for six. Eight thirty, yeah. Six no."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"It's nearly six so it might have dropped off the screens."
"I asked. No six."
"What's going on?" Ryan pipes up.
"There's no showing at six, idiot."
"Are you sure?"
Etc etc. So we walk up to the cinema and, waddyaknow, there is no showing at six. Ryan swears that there was, it said so on teletext but the evidence is against him. So we go back to his house, check teletext and do you know what?
It did say there was a showing at six. Teletext lied!
But this is a film review.
My first piece of advice: Do not sit in the front row if you suffer from motion sickness. The film is in a great documentary-style which is shorthand for the camera shakes all over the place. Now, I don't suffer from motion sickness and within half an hour I thought I was going to puke in Ryan's lap.
Now that the safety message is over with, on with the review.
Bourne is still on the run and looking for information about his past. That's pretty much it. Yes, there is a lot of CIA shenanigans going on but that's the thrust of the story.
Basically, everything that was great about the previous films is here and still great . Matt Damon's performance: great. Supporting cast: great. Action: superb.
It's all great. The main strength of the Bourne films is the tension that gets cranked up straight from the off. There is a great scene in a train station that is unbearable. And when the action kicks in, it's a great release to see this visceral, in your face, brutal action.
Highly recommended.
Bourne gets a stick, a really brutal stick that Bourne could use to pummel you senseless in, like, 2 seconds before you could even see him.
*Ryan's eye was caught by a Commerative Edition of Soundwave which he was going to buy. Until he saw it was £25 which was too rich for his blood. He wouldn't admit it, but he shed a tear over that.
The review begins, as ever, with a tale.
My good friend Ryan called and asked if we'd like to go catch the new Bourne film. I said, hey, I love Jason Bourne films. He killed a guy with a magazine and a toaster. What's not to love about that?
So he said it's on at 6, he checked teletext, I said cool, it's a date. So he picked me up from my work place, we drove down to the cinema, looked at some Transformers*, strolled across to Burger King, grabbed a burger and chewed the fat both figuratively and literally.
Then I get a phone call. My other good friend, Meat, is joining us and since it's nearly 6 he's already at the cinema.
And there's no 6 o'clock showing of Bourne. The conversation pretty much went like this:
"Really?"
"Yeah, there's nothing on the screens for six. Eight thirty, yeah. Six no."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"It's nearly six so it might have dropped off the screens."
"I asked. No six."
"What's going on?" Ryan pipes up.
"There's no showing at six, idiot."
"Are you sure?"
Etc etc. So we walk up to the cinema and, waddyaknow, there is no showing at six. Ryan swears that there was, it said so on teletext but the evidence is against him. So we go back to his house, check teletext and do you know what?
It did say there was a showing at six. Teletext lied!
But this is a film review.
My first piece of advice: Do not sit in the front row if you suffer from motion sickness. The film is in a great documentary-style which is shorthand for the camera shakes all over the place. Now, I don't suffer from motion sickness and within half an hour I thought I was going to puke in Ryan's lap.
Now that the safety message is over with, on with the review.
Bourne is still on the run and looking for information about his past. That's pretty much it. Yes, there is a lot of CIA shenanigans going on but that's the thrust of the story.
Basically, everything that was great about the previous films is here and still great . Matt Damon's performance: great. Supporting cast: great. Action: superb.
It's all great. The main strength of the Bourne films is the tension that gets cranked up straight from the off. There is a great scene in a train station that is unbearable. And when the action kicks in, it's a great release to see this visceral, in your face, brutal action.
Highly recommended.
Bourne gets a stick, a really brutal stick that Bourne could use to pummel you senseless in, like, 2 seconds before you could even see him.
*Ryan's eye was caught by a Commerative Edition of Soundwave which he was going to buy. Until he saw it was £25 which was too rich for his blood. He wouldn't admit it, but he shed a tear over that.
The Bourne Wikipedia
Saw the new Bourne film last night which is a tale to tell and the full review will follow when I get home later on. But my BBC Daily News email had a related interesting little story, a new web tool that can show changes make to Wikipedia pages by the CIA and other organisations.
Moving past the issue of surely they have better things to do with their time like ensuring world peace, it would be interesting to see what pages they edit. If it's mainly altering arcane bit of Star Trek cannon they we have an issue that needs raising.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I still love my new laptop
I do. And I've been playing with it loads which is why I haven't posted on here for a bit. But anyway, initial thoughts:
1) Sony laptop screens are fantastic. Really clean, clear and bright.
2) I love burning DVDs. I love burning CDs. Just being able to burn anything is great.
3) Windows Vista. Now, I may have previously groaned about the newest version of Windows but, you know what, it works. It doesn't do anything new or amazing that blows you away. it just works. It's like all those old promises made by Microsoft about how Windows will work, how easy it will be to do stuff, they seem to finally be getting near to that. Not much different than XP but very pleasant to use.
4) I love being able to put my memory stick from my PSP straight into the laptop and copy stuff over quickly and take it out straight away. Love it.
5) The battery on my old laptop was getting worn out, So worn out in fact that if you booted it up without it being plugged in, by the time you got logged in and everything the battery would be practically dead. Not so on my new laptop. I've been using it unplugged for ages and the battery keeps on going. And, it has yet to catch fire.
6) Games! I won't be able to play Crysis but things like The Movies will run on there which is good enough for me.
7) My dear wife attempted to name the new laptop Betsy. I said no, this laptop is a lady. A classy lady. She needs to be called something like Mercedes or Versace. To put it in perspective, the old laptop is now called Godfrey.
Monday, August 06, 2007
I miss my new laptop
Stupid work. Obviously couldn't bring my laptop into work so have to sit here with it far far away. Not fun. Got DVDs to burn, Vista settings to play with, Google Earth came pre-installed on it and I've not even started it yet!
5 o'clock is a long time away. I bet he's missing me.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
I love my new laptop
I reaaaally love it. No problems with Vista yet and I can now start burning my episodes of Consolevania to DVDs now. Love it. Love it love it love it
Friday, August 03, 2007
The Best Trailer Ever.
I'm not even joking. Less talk, more action:
I saw this when I saw Transformers. It deserves it's own post. I sat there in that cinema, stunned off my face.
I got home, stole my laptop off my good lady wife and fired up Wikipedia. Apparently, the film has no name but is known as Cloverfield.
My God, do I want to see this film. Inspired by seeing Godzilla toys in a Japanese shop? This movie is made for me!
I saw this when I saw Transformers. It deserves it's own post. I sat there in that cinema, stunned off my face.
I got home, stole my laptop off my good lady wife and fired up Wikipedia. Apparently, the film has no name but is known as Cloverfield.
My God, do I want to see this film. Inspired by seeing Godzilla toys in a Japanese shop? This movie is made for me!
Film Review: Transformers
Transformers @ IMDB
Now, I am a child of the eighties. Not just because I was born in 1980, either. All of the great 80s Icons were imprinted all over my childhood bedroom: A-Team curtains, an ET doll, Castle Greyskull in the corner of my room, a pirate copy of Ghostbusters ready to watch and Transformers wallpaper.
Giant robots fighting? I'm in. Orson Welles as the voice of Unicron? Sold. A live action Transformers movie?
My heart said yes, my head said oh dear. Which is right?
The Autobots have come to Earth to find the All Spark, an ancient artifact that could save or destroy the Universe. Unfortunately, the Decepticons were here first.
Just typing that, I cannot believe this has been made as a proper film for real people. Autobots. Cybertron. All Spark.
That last one. Hmm. Not a great idea. Could have gone with something from Transformers canon, like The Matrix of Leadership, rather than inventing something new.
But I digress. Shia LeBeouf takes the lead. Who he? I don't know but he carries the film well. He is our point of view, our anchor and if he slips up the film slips up. He doesn't and he is one of the 3 pillars that makes this a great film.
The other pillar?
BIG FREAKIN' ROBOTS FIGHTING EACH OTHER!
Make no bones about it: these are The Best Special Effects in The World. Seriously. The best. Like that song from the Karate Kid. THE. BEST.
Every criticism about the film: yeah, I'll give you that. The script is a bit dodgy, do we really need that shoot out in the library and the Michael Bay Shake-O-Cam raises it's ugly head several times.
But the third pillar, Senor Speilbergo, gives the film a light touch and a streak of humor. And it is really funny in places. Bumblebee pissing on someone is a bit weird* but some scenes are laugh out loud funny.
So. You've got all the usual Summer Blockbuster problems: running time, script, etc. But, if you held those toys in your hands as a child and wondered what they'd look like 30 feet tall, go see this film.
This film gets a sword, a huge sword that only Optimus Prime could use.
* Why does he need to piss on someone? This also furthers a trend, as Scrappy Doo pissed on Daphne in the Scooby Doo live action movie. What is it with Hollywood making our childhood icons piss on people?
Now, I am a child of the eighties. Not just because I was born in 1980, either. All of the great 80s Icons were imprinted all over my childhood bedroom: A-Team curtains, an ET doll, Castle Greyskull in the corner of my room, a pirate copy of Ghostbusters ready to watch and Transformers wallpaper.
Giant robots fighting? I'm in. Orson Welles as the voice of Unicron? Sold. A live action Transformers movie?
My heart said yes, my head said oh dear. Which is right?
The Autobots have come to Earth to find the All Spark, an ancient artifact that could save or destroy the Universe. Unfortunately, the Decepticons were here first.
Just typing that, I cannot believe this has been made as a proper film for real people. Autobots. Cybertron. All Spark.
That last one. Hmm. Not a great idea. Could have gone with something from Transformers canon, like The Matrix of Leadership, rather than inventing something new.
But I digress. Shia LeBeouf takes the lead. Who he? I don't know but he carries the film well. He is our point of view, our anchor and if he slips up the film slips up. He doesn't and he is one of the 3 pillars that makes this a great film.
The other pillar?
BIG FREAKIN' ROBOTS FIGHTING EACH OTHER!
Make no bones about it: these are The Best Special Effects in The World. Seriously. The best. Like that song from the Karate Kid. THE. BEST.
Every criticism about the film: yeah, I'll give you that. The script is a bit dodgy, do we really need that shoot out in the library and the Michael Bay Shake-O-Cam raises it's ugly head several times.
But the third pillar, Senor Speilbergo, gives the film a light touch and a streak of humor. And it is really funny in places. Bumblebee pissing on someone is a bit weird* but some scenes are laugh out loud funny.
So. You've got all the usual Summer Blockbuster problems: running time, script, etc. But, if you held those toys in your hands as a child and wondered what they'd look like 30 feet tall, go see this film.
This film gets a sword, a huge sword that only Optimus Prime could use.
* Why does he need to piss on someone? This also furthers a trend, as Scrappy Doo pissed on Daphne in the Scooby Doo live action movie. What is it with Hollywood making our childhood icons piss on people?
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Nevermind, eh? At least Joel Schumacher is still alive.
So that's one legendary director dead not long after another legendary director died. They're like buses aren't they? And, I don't believe I've seen any of their work. Can't say that I've seen anything more than the bits they would show in that stupid 2007 in Cinema trailer.
I can't say that I'm devastated either. Not to be harsh or anything but it's not like John Carpenter has died or anything. Now that would be devastating.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
And God said: Let There Be Flushes
Got home last night, ran upstairs, hit the flush and there it was. I feel like I'm back in the 20th Century. Not 21st, not yet as it's not clean enough to clean my teeth with yet. But we're getting there.
Hopefully the cinemas will be open soon so I can go to see Transformers before the weekend.
Fingers crossed!
Monday, July 30, 2007
Okay, so I lied
Still in Bristol, still getting free buffets. The mini Cornish pasties are still absent but can't complain considering the water will be back on soon. Imagine that. Flushing toilets.
I'll be living the dream.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
No free buffet. Boo.
I've just noticed that the phones in this different office aaaaaalmost sounds like the ones in 24. Not quite, but close enough for me to imagine myself as Jack Bauer. Like I said, almost.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Gloucester-mageddon 2007 continues
Or does it? News 24 has dropped us off the top of the news thanks to some new terrorist laws. Also, now the floods have hit Gloucester we're old news. No more presenters hosting the news from our streets, oh no, they've left us, going back to their flushable toilets.
Not that I'm too bitter. I've been in the work's backup office in Bristol today: taps that work! Water that flushes! FREE BUFFET!
It's almost like heaven.
Almost.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
The Phil Doyle Electricity Supply: Zero Defects
Still rocking on with power but no water. Would I give up the internet for a flushable toilet? Tricky. At least I don't have to wash up.
This is two mintues away from the town centre:
My bus into work each day goes near there. Not looking great but it's slowly getting better. Now, all I need to to find one of those bowsers. I tell you, if it hasn't got a green spikey shell I'm going to be very disapointed.
This is two mintues away from the town centre:
My bus into work each day goes near there. Not looking great but it's slowly getting better. Now, all I need to to find one of those bowsers. I tell you, if it hasn't got a green spikey shell I'm going to be very disapointed.
Monday, July 23, 2007
We're back
Lost power for a while there this afternoon. Ended up playing draughts (checkers, for those of you from distant shores) with my good lady wife until the power came on during a game I was actually winning. She tried to stop the game as a draw. Typical.
The water is still out. We've got emergency water supplies around the area now but the only thing is they're called bowsers.
How a I supposed to trust my emergency water supply to Mario's greatest nemises?
The water is still out. We've got emergency water supplies around the area now but the only thing is they're called bowsers.
How a I supposed to trust my emergency water supply to Mario's greatest nemises?
I've walked round there
They let us out: ooooooh yeah. Home, with power but no water. And another crazy video:
Now that is a lot of water.
Now that is a lot of water.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
My mum works near there
Here's a crazy video for you:
Walked round there loads of times. Drove past it during my last driving lesson.
Walked round there loads of times. Drove past it during my last driving lesson.
It's not raining any more
But it ain't dry.
Where I live is expected to turn into Waterworld pretty much anytime now but, don't forget the irony, because the tap water is about to run out.
I just caught the BBC News 24 channel with some guy flying over the water treament works in a helicopter saying it might not be that bad but then a Severn Trent Water spokesman came on saying it was bad.
So, fun weekend so far.
Where I live is expected to turn into Waterworld pretty much anytime now but, don't forget the irony, because the tap water is about to run out.
I just caught the BBC News 24 channel with some guy flying over the water treament works in a helicopter saying it might not be that bad but then a Severn Trent Water spokesman came on saying it was bad.
So, fun weekend so far.
Friday, July 20, 2007
It's raining
And I mean honking it down. We've already had some storm in the UK a few weeks ago, now some more. It's been raining all day. Aaaaaall day. And I just got soaked, thanks to my boy not wanting to get out his car seat. Right down my back. Then my umbrella turned inside out.
And you know what the really annoying thing is? Just typing umbrella has put that annoying Rhianna song back in my head.
God I hate that song.
And you know what the really annoying thing is? Just typing umbrella has put that annoying Rhianna song back in my head.
God I hate that song.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
An almost topical, relevant blog
So, according to some MPs the age you can learn to drive should be raised to 18. Isn't, like, the age 17? So how is increasing it by 1 year going to make any difference?
People should do what I did: get your provisional licence when you're 17, lose it, put off driving till the year after then nearly ten years later after getting married and having a child decide to learn to drive then. Simple.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Nothing but a stupid tax
Thanks to my fancy dan BBC News Alert email service, just got an email confirming that the BBC is to suspend all phone and interactive competitions after further serious editorial breaches are found. Having never entered one of these phone contests I feel quite smug.
This of course follows the Big Brother furore which means that at the end of each show you now get a five minute spiel about the money goes to charity and if you have a complaint go here and blah blah blah. And the ITV problems.
Imagine that: corporations trying to squeeze every pound out of you by whatever means necessary. There's a surprise.
This of course follows the Big Brother furore which means that at the end of each show you now get a five minute spiel about the money goes to charity and if you have a complaint go here and blah blah blah. And the ITV problems.
Imagine that: corporations trying to squeeze every pound out of you by whatever means necessary. There's a surprise.
Isn't the 21st Centaury great?
Found out I can email in blogs to my blog. From work. So, technically, I'm getting paid for this blog.
Sorry it's not about anything interesting. Just, you know, thought I should send in something.
Sorry it's not about anything interesting. Just, you know, thought I should send in something.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
DVD Review: Clerks II
Clerks II @ IMDB
Blimey, it can't be that long since Clerks came out? Really? Blimey.
The story goes that Kevin Smith promised his real life friend Jason Mewes that if he stayed of drugs he oculd play Jay again in Clerks II.
So here we are, on DVD.
After the Quick Stop burns down, Dante and his eternal sidekick Randal are working at a fast food restaurant. It is Dante's last day before he moves to Florida with his fiancee. Nothing could go wrong, right?
Kevin Smith's films always seem like attempts to mix the lowest of the low brow with heart felt sentimentality. But in a good way, not the John Hughes sickly sweet kind of way. So we get racial slurs, bizzare sex practices, drug taking all before the half way point. And funny it is too. It's strange seeing these characters after so long but also comforting. It complements and expands on the original which makes it, in my book, a great sequal but one that can stand on it's own.
And a guy has sex with a donkey in it. How can you turn that down?
This being a Kevin Smith DVD, the disc is packed with extras. But surprisingly, they've made it to the European disc. Normally we get nothing. You get commentaries, deleted scenes, a full 90 documentary about the film, the works. Well worth it.
Have to give this film a big bag full of ninja stars. Don't know why, I guess because Randal can throw them whilst making sarcastic comments.
Blimey, it can't be that long since Clerks came out? Really? Blimey.
The story goes that Kevin Smith promised his real life friend Jason Mewes that if he stayed of drugs he oculd play Jay again in Clerks II.
So here we are, on DVD.
After the Quick Stop burns down, Dante and his eternal sidekick Randal are working at a fast food restaurant. It is Dante's last day before he moves to Florida with his fiancee. Nothing could go wrong, right?
Kevin Smith's films always seem like attempts to mix the lowest of the low brow with heart felt sentimentality. But in a good way, not the John Hughes sickly sweet kind of way. So we get racial slurs, bizzare sex practices, drug taking all before the half way point. And funny it is too. It's strange seeing these characters after so long but also comforting. It complements and expands on the original which makes it, in my book, a great sequal but one that can stand on it's own.
And a guy has sex with a donkey in it. How can you turn that down?
This being a Kevin Smith DVD, the disc is packed with extras. But surprisingly, they've made it to the European disc. Normally we get nothing. You get commentaries, deleted scenes, a full 90 documentary about the film, the works. Well worth it.
Have to give this film a big bag full of ninja stars. Don't know why, I guess because Randal can throw them whilst making sarcastic comments.
Film Review: Die Hard 4.0
Die Hard 4.0 IMDB
Who doesn't love the Die Hard trilogy? Seriously? Even that ropey second one. The first defined the modern action film genre, the second was ropey but the third was a great film.
So now, time has passed and John Mclane is back. And fighting cyber terrorists.
What is it with Hollywood and hackers? When will they realise they hacking never translates well to the screen? That it always kills the pace and that someone typing on a keyboard just doesn't look that interesting. And how can a mobile phone access any computer with no problems?
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Mclane is sent to pick up a witness who may be at the centre of a terrorist attack on America's computer network that is bringing the East Coast to it's knees. Someone is, yet again, in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The main thing you need to consider with a Die Hard film is this: is the action good? And the answer is yes. Things go boom, bad guys get shot, people fight and everything looks great. So in that respect, the film is a success.
But. It is getting a bit over the top. In an effort to out-do the previous films John Mclane is starting to look like Neo in The Matrix. He, and a few of the villains, seem almost indestructible. This might sound strange, but it doesn't seem as believable as some of the previous films. Yes, there were over the top stunts but you could always see that it was a stunt man doing them so you could believe it. Here, you get a few CGed bits that tips it a bit too far the other way.
And not all the script holds up: Mclane's daughter is a bit tacked on and her character changes too quickly and for no reason. Mclane's sidekick is okay, but everything just feels sketched in. The support isn't as good as in Die Hard With A Vengeance.
But, it's a Die Hard film. Bruce Willis kills people, cracks some jokes and saves the day. That's what you wanted, isn't it?
Do ninja's have guns? Because that's the only weapon this film can have: a big shiny gun that holds a lot of bullets.
Who doesn't love the Die Hard trilogy? Seriously? Even that ropey second one. The first defined the modern action film genre, the second was ropey but the third was a great film.
So now, time has passed and John Mclane is back. And fighting cyber terrorists.
What is it with Hollywood and hackers? When will they realise they hacking never translates well to the screen? That it always kills the pace and that someone typing on a keyboard just doesn't look that interesting. And how can a mobile phone access any computer with no problems?
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Mclane is sent to pick up a witness who may be at the centre of a terrorist attack on America's computer network that is bringing the East Coast to it's knees. Someone is, yet again, in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The main thing you need to consider with a Die Hard film is this: is the action good? And the answer is yes. Things go boom, bad guys get shot, people fight and everything looks great. So in that respect, the film is a success.
But. It is getting a bit over the top. In an effort to out-do the previous films John Mclane is starting to look like Neo in The Matrix. He, and a few of the villains, seem almost indestructible. This might sound strange, but it doesn't seem as believable as some of the previous films. Yes, there were over the top stunts but you could always see that it was a stunt man doing them so you could believe it. Here, you get a few CGed bits that tips it a bit too far the other way.
And not all the script holds up: Mclane's daughter is a bit tacked on and her character changes too quickly and for no reason. Mclane's sidekick is okay, but everything just feels sketched in. The support isn't as good as in Die Hard With A Vengeance.
But, it's a Die Hard film. Bruce Willis kills people, cracks some jokes and saves the day. That's what you wanted, isn't it?
Do ninja's have guns? Because that's the only weapon this film can have: a big shiny gun that holds a lot of bullets.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Film review: Cabin Fever
Cabin Fever @ IMDB
What? You thought all these reviews were going to be of current films? I haven't seen this film before. And anyway, with the recent release of Hostel Part II it's almost topical.
So. Group of teenagers go into woods, get some flesh eating virus, bad things happen to them. Same old, same old.
My problem with this film: it goes to the throat too quickly. There's no real tension, no sense of claustrophobia. The characters are annoying at best. Yeah, it's nice and gory but that only gets you so far. I don't know. Maybe if I haven't seen films like The Evil Dead before then I would have thought this was great.
This, frankly, should be a modern interpretation of The Thing. But it isn't. It's empty. It's just a string of "oh, wouldn't this be gross" scenes with nothing holding it together.
The best weapon for this film is a shovel. If you've seen it you'll know.
What? You thought all these reviews were going to be of current films? I haven't seen this film before. And anyway, with the recent release of Hostel Part II it's almost topical.
So. Group of teenagers go into woods, get some flesh eating virus, bad things happen to them. Same old, same old.
My problem with this film: it goes to the throat too quickly. There's no real tension, no sense of claustrophobia. The characters are annoying at best. Yeah, it's nice and gory but that only gets you so far. I don't know. Maybe if I haven't seen films like The Evil Dead before then I would have thought this was great.
This, frankly, should be a modern interpretation of The Thing. But it isn't. It's empty. It's just a string of "oh, wouldn't this be gross" scenes with nothing holding it together.
The best weapon for this film is a shovel. If you've seen it you'll know.
Friday, June 29, 2007
There goes another one
So, the WWE Wrestler Chris Benoit has killed his wife and child.
What is it with wrestlers? What is it about their lifestyle that creates these stories? To be fair, they haven't been many stories like this. Normally it's cocaine or heart attacks or accidents.
Not murder.
And what makes it worse is that this wasn't just some backwater wrestler. This was Chris Benoit. This was The Rabid Wolverine. This was, and let's be honest here, one of the top ten wrestlers the WWE has ever seen.
He may not have had the cultural impact of a Hulk Hogan or Steve Austin or The Rock but for those of us who wanted to watch wrestling done properly, it was always Benoit.
But now that's all gone. We can always talk about his technical skill in the ring, the matches he fought in, the rivalries. But it will always come down to this:
He killed his wife and son.
What is it with wrestlers? What is it about their lifestyle that creates these stories? To be fair, they haven't been many stories like this. Normally it's cocaine or heart attacks or accidents.
Not murder.
And what makes it worse is that this wasn't just some backwater wrestler. This was Chris Benoit. This was The Rabid Wolverine. This was, and let's be honest here, one of the top ten wrestlers the WWE has ever seen.
He may not have had the cultural impact of a Hulk Hogan or Steve Austin or The Rock but for those of us who wanted to watch wrestling done properly, it was always Benoit.
But now that's all gone. We can always talk about his technical skill in the ring, the matches he fought in, the rivalries. But it will always come down to this:
He killed his wife and son.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
You can't slip anything past me
This is only really for those who saw tonights episode of Doctor Who, but it had two massive Marvel Comic references:
1) You have the Time Lords referred to as "watchers of the Universe, who vowed never to interfere". Well, that's The Watchers, the ancient race of beings who, well, watch.
2) The US President says the meeting with the new aliens will be on the US aircraft carrier Valiant. So the Doctor and his crew teleport onto the carrier and look out of the window and don't see any water. Well, blimey, it's a only a big rocket powered flying aircraft carrier.
Well, that's SHIELD's Helicarrier. Nick Fury had loads of those.
What next, the Doctor popping this adamantium claws? Or throwing this mighty shield?
1) You have the Time Lords referred to as "watchers of the Universe, who vowed never to interfere". Well, that's The Watchers, the ancient race of beings who, well, watch.
2) The US President says the meeting with the new aliens will be on the US aircraft carrier Valiant. So the Doctor and his crew teleport onto the carrier and look out of the window and don't see any water. Well, blimey, it's a only a big rocket powered flying aircraft carrier.
Well, that's SHIELD's Helicarrier. Nick Fury had loads of those.
What next, the Doctor popping this adamantium claws? Or throwing this mighty shield?
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Review - 4: The Rise of The Silver Surfer
4: The Rise of The Silver Surfer @ IMDB
To be honest, I bet most of the reviews of this film were written before the trailer came out. The first film version of the FF received a critical mauling but did enough at the box office to make a sequel worth while.
So here we are. All of the Fantastic Four are back with this pesky Silver Surfer character flying around the place making these big craters and spouting off about some 'destroyer of worlds' heading our way.
Everything negative said about this film is probably right. The script is nothing special, it feels contrived in places, the humor sometimes falls flat, some of the effects look dodgy, Galactus is done wrong, the film is totally hamstrung by the casting of Jessica Alba but you know what?
Didn't care that much.
It's froth. It's a summer blockbuster that knows it is and doesn't try any more than that. It's not a classic and doesn't try to be. It simply tries to entertain you for an hour or so and in that respect it succeeds.
And whilst you're in the cinema you enjoy the interplay between the Thing and the Human Torch, the Surfer looks spot on grade A fantastic, the film cracks along at a great pace and I didn't look at my watch until just before the end credits.
And then you walk out and pick holes in it. Dr Doom, damnit, how hard would it really be do to him properly and regally? His re-entrance kinda makes sense and does doff it's hat to a story in the FF comic. Don't get me started on Galactus.
Jessica Alba. Worst casting ever. It's worth pointing out that in pretty much every scene where's she's being a scientist and looking at complicated things on screens that she's wearing glasses.
Worst casting ever.
So, I enjoyed it, won't be getting the DVD, hope Galactus is done properly in the inevitable sequel, forgot most of it already.
The film gets a dagger. A cheap one but still useful.
To be honest, I bet most of the reviews of this film were written before the trailer came out. The first film version of the FF received a critical mauling but did enough at the box office to make a sequel worth while.
So here we are. All of the Fantastic Four are back with this pesky Silver Surfer character flying around the place making these big craters and spouting off about some 'destroyer of worlds' heading our way.
Everything negative said about this film is probably right. The script is nothing special, it feels contrived in places, the humor sometimes falls flat, some of the effects look dodgy, Galactus is done wrong, the film is totally hamstrung by the casting of Jessica Alba but you know what?
Didn't care that much.
It's froth. It's a summer blockbuster that knows it is and doesn't try any more than that. It's not a classic and doesn't try to be. It simply tries to entertain you for an hour or so and in that respect it succeeds.
And whilst you're in the cinema you enjoy the interplay between the Thing and the Human Torch, the Surfer looks spot on grade A fantastic, the film cracks along at a great pace and I didn't look at my watch until just before the end credits.
And then you walk out and pick holes in it. Dr Doom, damnit, how hard would it really be do to him properly and regally? His re-entrance kinda makes sense and does doff it's hat to a story in the FF comic. Don't get me started on Galactus.
Jessica Alba. Worst casting ever. It's worth pointing out that in pretty much every scene where's she's being a scientist and looking at complicated things on screens that she's wearing glasses.
Worst casting ever.
So, I enjoyed it, won't be getting the DVD, hope Galactus is done properly in the inevitable sequel, forgot most of it already.
The film gets a dagger. A cheap one but still useful.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Somebody give me their goddamn credit card
I need this game. Now. I would steal a PS2 from a disabled 6 year old orphan who was given the console after a charity saved for months, forgoing food to buy the poor child a PlayStation. And I would steal it from them without a second thought if it meant I got to play that game.
I am not lying.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Holy Mother of God
That is, like, insane. I barely got 90% on that song on Easy mode.
Colour me stunned.
I have never been so impressed by shorts
So I've made my decision.
I'm throwing my weight behind Blu-Ray in the current format war. This is due to two reasons:
1) Me and my good friend Meat walked into Dixons and saw a demo of NBA 2K7 for the PS3. Now, I would stick in a gratuitous YouTube video but a small flash video would not do justice to what I saw running on that LCD TV.
I've seen the PS3 videos online, seen the Formula 1 game running on big in store displays but all that looked...not impressive. Like an X-Box could run it.
But that NBA game. To see the detail on the player models, the animation, the way the players uniforms moved, the animation in the crowd, I was stunned. I was finally sold on the next-gen consoles.
2) Browsing in HMV I saw The Fountain on Blu-Ray. Didn't see it in the HD-DVD section. Final nail in the coffin.
Of course the PS3 wraps up the games and Blu-Ray in one neat little, sorry, towering package. But, despite my decision, it can wait until the PS3 is under £250. Way under.
Waaaaaay under.
I'm throwing my weight behind Blu-Ray in the current format war. This is due to two reasons:
1) Me and my good friend Meat walked into Dixons and saw a demo of NBA 2K7 for the PS3. Now, I would stick in a gratuitous YouTube video but a small flash video would not do justice to what I saw running on that LCD TV.
I've seen the PS3 videos online, seen the Formula 1 game running on big in store displays but all that looked...not impressive. Like an X-Box could run it.
But that NBA game. To see the detail on the player models, the animation, the way the players uniforms moved, the animation in the crowd, I was stunned. I was finally sold on the next-gen consoles.
2) Browsing in HMV I saw The Fountain on Blu-Ray. Didn't see it in the HD-DVD section. Final nail in the coffin.
Of course the PS3 wraps up the games and Blu-Ray in one neat little, sorry, towering package. But, despite my decision, it can wait until the PS3 is under £250. Way under.
Waaaaaay under.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Pedestrian < Driver
Had my first driving lesson today. By driving I mean started, drove forward a bit, stopped, drove forward a bit more, stopped again, drove forward some more, went round a freaking roundabout, stopped.
Oh yeah. First steps, my friend. Soon I'll be powering down those motorways going to seaside locations and everything.
After I pass my test.
And buy a car.
I drove today!
TEAM!
Oh yeah. First steps, my friend. Soon I'll be powering down those motorways going to seaside locations and everything.
After I pass my test.
And buy a car.
I drove today!
TEAM!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
I was very nearly worried for a while
That actually looks quite cool. All the trailer needed was a "MEG-A-TROOOON!" from Prime and it would have been perfect.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Now THAT is a trick shot
That's just all kinds of crazy.
A note, further to my review of 28 Weeks Later: My fear of the undead rising to bring down civilisation as we know it has surfaced again. Seriously, this is probably the only thing that gets me waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.
International terrorism? Nah. Rising inflation? Nope. A corpse shambling into my house whilst I'm in the shower? You'd better believe it.
But it's always best to be on the safe side, that's what I say.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Now I know what I want for Christmas
A teaser of the playlist for Guitar Hero III has been released. And oh my good God.
Knights of Cydonia.
Paint It Black.
Tenacious D.
SABOTAGE.
What'll a Wii cost by then? Call it £180. Guitar controller and game, £60. £240.
Time to sell some organs.
My only problem with this is that this won't be the true Guitar Hero III as the developer who made it, Harmonix left the publisher so this game is being made by new people.
Harmonix's new game is called Rock Band where four of you can play; lead guitar, bass, drums and a singer.
Who would have thought that the world of rhythm action based games using guitar shaped controllers would be so competitive and so hard to choose between?
Knights of Cydonia.
Paint It Black.
Tenacious D.
SABOTAGE.
What'll a Wii cost by then? Call it £180. Guitar controller and game, £60. £240.
Time to sell some organs.
My only problem with this is that this won't be the true Guitar Hero III as the developer who made it, Harmonix left the publisher so this game is being made by new people.
Harmonix's new game is called Rock Band where four of you can play; lead guitar, bass, drums and a singer.
Who would have thought that the world of rhythm action based games using guitar shaped controllers would be so competitive and so hard to choose between?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Film review: 28 Weeks Later
28 Weeks Later @ IMDB
So. Danny Boyle takes a digital film camera, shoots some bits of London when it was quiet and suddenly zombies are cool again.
Before anyone says anything, I know there are no zombies in this film. They are Infected. Talking zombies to me is like getting your Grandmother to suck the dead flesh of the arm of a family member. I am Mr Zombie. In fact, neither are there zombies in the Evil Dead films, in those you have people possessed by Deadites.
Anyway. Off topic. But it's worth mentioning as the original film was the first film in the wave of modern zombie films, despite the previously mentioned undead disparity.
So, six months following the outbreak in the original 28 Days Later, the Infected have now died out. The US army has moved into London to start the repopulating the country. Another plane load of people arrives. Two kids are reunited with their Father.
And then all Hell breaks loose.
The sequel manages to retain all of the intensity of the first film. While the purists among us like the shambling inevitability of the usual zombie, having a gang of rampaging Infected running about the place does make for great cinema. Examples being the opening chase across a field and the scene when the outbreak gets out of control. Yes, it gets a bit too jumpy and shaky in places but the energy of the film is amazing.
You can read some political stuff into the film (US troops in a green zone? Smells a bit Middle East to me) but, let's be honest, all we need to know is how much gore you get for your money. Let me just say this:
1) Helicopter.
2) Rotor blades.
3) Infected.
Oh yes.
The empty streets of London, so iconic in the first film, seems a bit forced this time. A bit like "we've seen this before, let's get on with it". But when the film does get on with it, fantastic. Just don't think too much about the plot or the route the characters take across London because it can fall apart if you think about it too much.
And the best thing about this film? One of the main characters, the bad ass US Sniper, is called Doyle. Like me. Oh yes. There is one issue with this which so as not to spoil anything I will hide. So if you want to know highlight the following, otherwise skip on.
They set fire to him. With a flamethrower. And he doesn't even get infected. He just gets set on fire. On a related note, walking out of the cinema I said to my good friend Ryan, "I can't believe they set Doyle on fire."
To which Ryan replied, "They set him on fire because he had a gay name."
Cheers buddy.
Oh, and great ending. Bit like the ending to the Dawn of The Dead remake.
This film gets a great big sword that you can use to kill a lot of people with.
So. Danny Boyle takes a digital film camera, shoots some bits of London when it was quiet and suddenly zombies are cool again.
Before anyone says anything, I know there are no zombies in this film. They are Infected. Talking zombies to me is like getting your Grandmother to suck the dead flesh of the arm of a family member. I am Mr Zombie. In fact, neither are there zombies in the Evil Dead films, in those you have people possessed by Deadites.
Anyway. Off topic. But it's worth mentioning as the original film was the first film in the wave of modern zombie films, despite the previously mentioned undead disparity.
So, six months following the outbreak in the original 28 Days Later, the Infected have now died out. The US army has moved into London to start the repopulating the country. Another plane load of people arrives. Two kids are reunited with their Father.
And then all Hell breaks loose.
The sequel manages to retain all of the intensity of the first film. While the purists among us like the shambling inevitability of the usual zombie, having a gang of rampaging Infected running about the place does make for great cinema. Examples being the opening chase across a field and the scene when the outbreak gets out of control. Yes, it gets a bit too jumpy and shaky in places but the energy of the film is amazing.
You can read some political stuff into the film (US troops in a green zone? Smells a bit Middle East to me) but, let's be honest, all we need to know is how much gore you get for your money. Let me just say this:
1) Helicopter.
2) Rotor blades.
3) Infected.
Oh yes.
The empty streets of London, so iconic in the first film, seems a bit forced this time. A bit like "we've seen this before, let's get on with it". But when the film does get on with it, fantastic. Just don't think too much about the plot or the route the characters take across London because it can fall apart if you think about it too much.
And the best thing about this film? One of the main characters, the bad ass US Sniper, is called Doyle. Like me. Oh yes. There is one issue with this which so as not to spoil anything I will hide. So if you want to know highlight the following, otherwise skip on.
They set fire to him. With a flamethrower. And he doesn't even get infected. He just gets set on fire. On a related note, walking out of the cinema I said to my good friend Ryan, "I can't believe they set Doyle on fire."
To which Ryan replied, "They set him on fire because he had a gay name."
Cheers buddy.
Oh, and great ending. Bit like the ending to the Dawn of The Dead remake.
This film gets a great big sword that you can use to kill a lot of people with.
Film review: Zodiac
Zodiac @ IMDB
Now, when you think of David Fincher and serial killers you think of heads in boxes, grusome punishments and a big fat dead guy.
So the synopsis of this film, the story of the Zodiac Serial Killer who terrorised San Franscico in the late 60s/early 70s, you'd be excused for thinking that you're going to get blood and guts and heads in boxes.
But not so. This is a procedural take of the serial killer film from the viewpoint of those investigating the killer both official and unofficaly. You basically have the amatuer who can't leave the story alone (Gyllenhaal), the Detective who was hunting the killer (Ruffalo) and Robert Downey Jr as Robert Downey Jr.
Alright, that last was one was a bit harsh but the point still stands.
You don't see anything from the perspective of the killer (much like Se7en if we're being honest) except for a couple of the murders. But even in this instance, such is Fincher's devotion to accuracy in this film that the victims who survived the attacks were actually consultants on the film. It is very much a restrained Fincher film. There are none of the epic CG shots like you had in Panic Room, nothing like the outlandish deaths of Se7en, when they do come they are short and brutal.
So what do you get for your money? You get a 2 and half hour running time. You get no carthartic shoot-the-bad-guy ending as the killer was never caught. You get a really well made, taught film about peoples obessions and the realities of detective work.
This film gets a spear. With a tassle on the end.
Now, when you think of David Fincher and serial killers you think of heads in boxes, grusome punishments and a big fat dead guy.
So the synopsis of this film, the story of the Zodiac Serial Killer who terrorised San Franscico in the late 60s/early 70s, you'd be excused for thinking that you're going to get blood and guts and heads in boxes.
But not so. This is a procedural take of the serial killer film from the viewpoint of those investigating the killer both official and unofficaly. You basically have the amatuer who can't leave the story alone (Gyllenhaal), the Detective who was hunting the killer (Ruffalo) and Robert Downey Jr as Robert Downey Jr.
Alright, that last was one was a bit harsh but the point still stands.
You don't see anything from the perspective of the killer (much like Se7en if we're being honest) except for a couple of the murders. But even in this instance, such is Fincher's devotion to accuracy in this film that the victims who survived the attacks were actually consultants on the film. It is very much a restrained Fincher film. There are none of the epic CG shots like you had in Panic Room, nothing like the outlandish deaths of Se7en, when they do come they are short and brutal.
So what do you get for your money? You get a 2 and half hour running time. You get no carthartic shoot-the-bad-guy ending as the killer was never caught. You get a really well made, taught film about peoples obessions and the realities of detective work.
This film gets a spear. With a tassle on the end.
Monday, May 21, 2007
I'm not ashamed to admit I nearly cried like a girl
So, Batman Begins = Good. Good enough for a sequel, The Dark Knight, which has got Harvey Dent and (drumroll) The Joker in it.
The pre-hype started to build last week when this site went up. But then, that site got more and more defaced until it was replaced by this:
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Heath Ledger as The Joker.
That's not your Adam West Joker is it? That's pretty messed up. And if The Joker looks like THAT, what the hell will Two Face look like?
But it gets weirder. This site went up as well. Page not found eh? Highlight that page and you'll find about 12 pages of Ha ha ha's.
Good lord.
The pre-hype started to build last week when this site went up. But then, that site got more and more defaced until it was replaced by this:
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Heath Ledger as The Joker.
That's not your Adam West Joker is it? That's pretty messed up. And if The Joker looks like THAT, what the hell will Two Face look like?
But it gets weirder. This site went up as well. Page not found eh? Highlight that page and you'll find about 12 pages of Ha ha ha's.
Good lord.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
At least I wasn't Wonder Woman
Your results:
You are Spider-Man
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
Hmm. Not sure about that. Yeah, I like Spidey but I would have liked to have been Iron Man. Or Thor. I do like to say thou.
Thou.
Heh.
Your results:
You are Magneto
Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...
Now that's not too bad. I'll take Mags any day of the week. It would have been good if I was a Spidey villain. But, you can't have everything.
Thou.
Heh. Still got it.
You are Spider-Man
| You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.  |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
Hmm. Not sure about that. Yeah, I like Spidey but I would have liked to have been Iron Man. Or Thor. I do like to say thou.
Thou.
Heh.
Your results:
You are Magneto
| You fear the persecution of those that are different or underprivileged so much that you are willing to fight and hurt others for your cause. |
Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...
Now that's not too bad. I'll take Mags any day of the week. It would have been good if I was a Spidey villain. But, you can't have everything.
Thou.
Heh. Still got it.
Friday, May 11, 2007
The Most Video-Licious Post EVER
Can't resist. Found about about a very cool series of videos of YouTube and am going to post them all here. Get ready:
Funny.
Heh. Hulk funny.
See? Superkid is stupid.
Poor Supes. Heh, rock.
Like it. Bats is funny.
A more perfect review of the film you will not find.
Funny.
Heh. Hulk funny.
See? Superkid is stupid.
Poor Supes. Heh, rock.
Like it. Bats is funny.
A more perfect review of the film you will not find.
An apology.
In a previous post it was stated that one Ryan Holland was an "idiot sidekick" to the owner of this blog, one Phil Doyle. Mr Holland would like it known that:
a) He is not an idiot, and
b) He is not a sidekick.
This is despite evidence to the contrary that would be able to stand up in a court of law. Despite this, the owner of this blog would like to apologise for any emotional torment caused.
Not.
a) He is not an idiot, and
b) He is not a sidekick.
This is despite evidence to the contrary that would be able to stand up in a court of law. Despite this, the owner of this blog would like to apologise for any emotional torment caused.
Not.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Film review: Spider-Man 3
Spider-Man 3 @ IMDB
I begin this review with a tale.
My friend Lawrence, his friend Bob and my idiot sidekick Ryan* went to the cinema yesterday to see the new Spidey film. Lawrence drove us to Cheltenham and it was very entertaining for three reasons:
1) Driving up one road on the way to Ryan's house we were behind a Jaguar which stopped quite suddenly, the door flying open as the driver got out. We had to swerve and as we past we heard the driver say "BITCH!" which was, frankly, uncalled for. But then, not five minutes later after picking up Ryan we drive down another road where in front of us is parked THE SAME JAG and the driver opens the door IN FRONT OF US AGAIN. Freaky.
2) Now, this was the day after Lawrence's birthday and he had been given a brand spanking new satnav for his car. So he programs the route to the cinema into it and off we go. We get to a roundabout, the satnav says to go straight over. He takes the first exit which puts us on the M5 heading for Bristol. Queue several frantic trips up and down several junctions before we get the car heading in the right direction again.
3) So we get to Cheltenham, park up in the car park next to the cinema, go in, buy our tickets, go upstairs, Ryan goes the the toilet, I go to buy a drink but as they're charging £1.90 for a bottle of water I decide to just absorb moisture through the air, Ryan comes back, decides to get a hot dog, comes back, Lawrence decides to get a hot dog, we start to go over to the guy to take our ticket so we can go sit down when Lawrence stops.
"Wait," he says."
"What?" the rest of us say.
"Can you remember what I did with my satnav?"
"No," one of us says. "Why?"
Lawrence pauses for a moment. "I think I left it on the roof of my car."
He thrusts his hot dog into my hand and runs off.
There follows several moments of disbelief, outrage, more disbelief, belly laughs and mocking until we go outside so Ryan can have a fag. I meanwhile call my dear wife to tell her the happy news. In the distance comes Lawrence. He walks up to us.
"Where was it?"
"On the roof of the car," he says.
More laughter follows, followed by shocked amazement that it was still there followed by mericless taunting for the rest of the day.
And this incident, which will keep me laughing through till Christmas, almost overshadowed the film.
Being brutally honest, some of my fears about this film have come true. There are too many villains, the film gets itself tangled up trying to explain everything in a convoluted plot which includes the following:
- Spidey vrs The New Goblin
- Spidey vrs The Sandman
- Spidey vrs Venom
- Spidey & MJ's relationship troubles
- Spidey's battle with his darkside
- Spidey in a love triangle
- 4 new characters, 2 origin stories and several coincidences that nearly tear the film down.
That last one gets a bit much. Someone happens to be here when this happens, just when this happens someone turns up. Does get a bit lazy. There's a few scenes as well that you just wish the creators would clarify a bit better.
A good example, and not a spoiler as it's in the trailer, is when Spidey removes the evil costume. It just basically starts with him trying to tear it off. What it needed was Spidey trying to take a glove or something off and it reattaching itself and building up like that. In the film it's like BANG! straight into the screaming and the tearing and you question why the character isn't questioning it. It's like the character in the film knows that the suit does this but we the audience haven't been shown before, which causes confusion and takes you out of the film for a moment. It did for me, at least.
And the Live News Report schtick that frames the final battle in the film is just ridiculous.
The main problem is this: Spider-Man 2 was one of the best comic films ever made. Also one of the best sequels. And it's in trying to top this that the film overstretches itself.
But it's not all bad: the action is amazing (although nothing beats the train fight from Spidey 2) with some top effects. The Sandman looks amazing and when he first forms is the perfect marriage of character and CG. Bruce Campbell's cameo. The much maligned Spidey/John Travolta scene I loved. It does have a precedence if you remember the sequence in Spidey 2 when he gives up being Spidey. The New Goblin is a great character in the film.
So it's a good film that is only tripped up by it's own ambition.
The best way I can get across my feelings about the film is this; you have the climax and I was wowed by the effects, pulled into the ride and grinning like an idiot. Then it ends and there's a scene with Spidey and Sandman, And I blinked and thought "You know, I probably would have given up a few CG scenes for this because Thomas Hayden Church as Sandman is fantastic and deserves room to breathe.
"Like Doc Ock in Spidey 2."
* Yeah, I'm probably going to pay for that. But I'm talking about someone who cries every time at the end of Armageddon so I don't feel that bad.
I begin this review with a tale.
My friend Lawrence, his friend Bob and my idiot sidekick Ryan* went to the cinema yesterday to see the new Spidey film. Lawrence drove us to Cheltenham and it was very entertaining for three reasons:
1) Driving up one road on the way to Ryan's house we were behind a Jaguar which stopped quite suddenly, the door flying open as the driver got out. We had to swerve and as we past we heard the driver say "BITCH!" which was, frankly, uncalled for. But then, not five minutes later after picking up Ryan we drive down another road where in front of us is parked THE SAME JAG and the driver opens the door IN FRONT OF US AGAIN. Freaky.
2) Now, this was the day after Lawrence's birthday and he had been given a brand spanking new satnav for his car. So he programs the route to the cinema into it and off we go. We get to a roundabout, the satnav says to go straight over. He takes the first exit which puts us on the M5 heading for Bristol. Queue several frantic trips up and down several junctions before we get the car heading in the right direction again.
3) So we get to Cheltenham, park up in the car park next to the cinema, go in, buy our tickets, go upstairs, Ryan goes the the toilet, I go to buy a drink but as they're charging £1.90 for a bottle of water I decide to just absorb moisture through the air, Ryan comes back, decides to get a hot dog, comes back, Lawrence decides to get a hot dog, we start to go over to the guy to take our ticket so we can go sit down when Lawrence stops.
"Wait," he says."
"What?" the rest of us say.
"Can you remember what I did with my satnav?"
"No," one of us says. "Why?"
Lawrence pauses for a moment. "I think I left it on the roof of my car."
He thrusts his hot dog into my hand and runs off.
There follows several moments of disbelief, outrage, more disbelief, belly laughs and mocking until we go outside so Ryan can have a fag. I meanwhile call my dear wife to tell her the happy news. In the distance comes Lawrence. He walks up to us.
"Where was it?"
"On the roof of the car," he says.
More laughter follows, followed by shocked amazement that it was still there followed by mericless taunting for the rest of the day.
And this incident, which will keep me laughing through till Christmas, almost overshadowed the film.
Being brutally honest, some of my fears about this film have come true. There are too many villains, the film gets itself tangled up trying to explain everything in a convoluted plot which includes the following:
- Spidey vrs The New Goblin
- Spidey vrs The Sandman
- Spidey vrs Venom
- Spidey & MJ's relationship troubles
- Spidey's battle with his darkside
- Spidey in a love triangle
- 4 new characters, 2 origin stories and several coincidences that nearly tear the film down.
That last one gets a bit much. Someone happens to be here when this happens, just when this happens someone turns up. Does get a bit lazy. There's a few scenes as well that you just wish the creators would clarify a bit better.
A good example, and not a spoiler as it's in the trailer, is when Spidey removes the evil costume. It just basically starts with him trying to tear it off. What it needed was Spidey trying to take a glove or something off and it reattaching itself and building up like that. In the film it's like BANG! straight into the screaming and the tearing and you question why the character isn't questioning it. It's like the character in the film knows that the suit does this but we the audience haven't been shown before, which causes confusion and takes you out of the film for a moment. It did for me, at least.
And the Live News Report schtick that frames the final battle in the film is just ridiculous.
The main problem is this: Spider-Man 2 was one of the best comic films ever made. Also one of the best sequels. And it's in trying to top this that the film overstretches itself.
But it's not all bad: the action is amazing (although nothing beats the train fight from Spidey 2) with some top effects. The Sandman looks amazing and when he first forms is the perfect marriage of character and CG. Bruce Campbell's cameo. The much maligned Spidey/John Travolta scene I loved. It does have a precedence if you remember the sequence in Spidey 2 when he gives up being Spidey. The New Goblin is a great character in the film.
So it's a good film that is only tripped up by it's own ambition.
The best way I can get across my feelings about the film is this; you have the climax and I was wowed by the effects, pulled into the ride and grinning like an idiot. Then it ends and there's a scene with Spidey and Sandman, And I blinked and thought "You know, I probably would have given up a few CG scenes for this because Thomas Hayden Church as Sandman is fantastic and deserves room to breathe.
"Like Doc Ock in Spidey 2."
* Yeah, I'm probably going to pay for that. But I'm talking about someone who cries every time at the end of Armageddon so I don't feel that bad.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
potter puppets 1
--
Jesus! My wife has hijacked my blog to post bizzare Harry Potter videos from YouTube!
I suppose I should be grateful that this was the only thing that she did. Last time she got access to my Facebook account she changed my profile to read as follows:
I am a potato-headed old man who likes to spend time in the country admiring the many splendrous breeds of sheep and cows and pigs. ooooh arrrrrr!!
My own wife.
*sigh*
Thursday, May 03, 2007
You've let me down America
So it appears that Grindhouse has tanked in America and is now left without a release date over here.
Great. Just great. Thank you very much America. All I wanted was to see a damn film with a machine gun for a damn leg and now I can't. A machine gun for leg! Did no one see the trailer?
I am very annoyed.
And then I read this, quite simply the worst list of the Top 50 films so far this year. Epic Movie? Hannibal Rising? Norbit?!
And no Hot Fuzz.
I feel enraged.
Great. Just great. Thank you very much America. All I wanted was to see a damn film with a machine gun for a damn leg and now I can't. A machine gun for leg! Did no one see the trailer?
I am very annoyed.
And then I read this, quite simply the worst list of the Top 50 films so far this year. Epic Movie? Hannibal Rising? Norbit?!
And no Hot Fuzz.
I feel enraged.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Nearly forgot Norbit, biggest mistake of all
Recently been listening to the Adam & Joe podcats from their radio show on Xfm, just listened to one where they reviewed Superman Returns, which was spot on: first hour great, after that bobbins.
But why bobbins? Simple. One of the greatest film mistakes ever, which was
SPOILERS! SPOILERS BE HERE!
giving Superman a son. Ridiculous. How is that going to work in the sequel? The problem with doing a Superman story is that he's Superman. Any problem you can think of he can get out of, you never feel like he's in danger so no tension. And now they're going to have two Supermen which doubles the problem. Big mistake that there is no way out of short of ignoring the first film.
Other huge film mistakes include: Godfather Part III; casting Leo in Gangs on New York; not giving South Park the Best Song Oscar for Blame Canada; the career of Sylvester Stallone excluding Cliffhanger, Rocky 3 and First Blood.
But why bobbins? Simple. One of the greatest film mistakes ever, which was
SPOILERS! SPOILERS BE HERE!
giving Superman a son. Ridiculous. How is that going to work in the sequel? The problem with doing a Superman story is that he's Superman. Any problem you can think of he can get out of, you never feel like he's in danger so no tension. And now they're going to have two Supermen which doubles the problem. Big mistake that there is no way out of short of ignoring the first film.
Other huge film mistakes include: Godfather Part III; casting Leo in Gangs on New York; not giving South Park the Best Song Oscar for Blame Canada; the career of Sylvester Stallone excluding Cliffhanger, Rocky 3 and First Blood.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Sorry, couldn't resist
Looking for those Family Guy videos got me looking for others and I found this one, one of the best Family Guy bits ever:
A slice of fried gold.
A slice of fried gold.
Best. TV Show. Ever
I love Family Guy. I think it's great that despite being cancelled twice it's still going and lots of people actually like it. In fact, when Channel 4 did a list of the Top 100 Cartoons Family Guy actually got in at number 5, which astonished me no end.
So I was watching it last night and saw 2 episodes that had 3 bits that just left me unable to breathe. The first is as follows:
What makes this clip so great is the little bits that are just like the actual A-Team credits: Hannibal in the monster suit, the cylon, Mr T's slow turn in the car...faultless. Then in the next episode it hit me with this:
Now, I was only vaugely aware of this internet meme before but this was such a surreal moment in the show that I laughed like an idiot.
Obviously, the Family Guy people knew I was now softened up so they went in for the kill:
That was it. I couldn't breathe. Tears were streaming down my face. Like the A-Team bit, the genius of this was all the little bits that were the same as the film: falling off the cliff, pulling out Peter's heart, the mine chase.
I love Family Guy.
So I was watching it last night and saw 2 episodes that had 3 bits that just left me unable to breathe. The first is as follows:
What makes this clip so great is the little bits that are just like the actual A-Team credits: Hannibal in the monster suit, the cylon, Mr T's slow turn in the car...faultless. Then in the next episode it hit me with this:
Now, I was only vaugely aware of this internet meme before but this was such a surreal moment in the show that I laughed like an idiot.
Obviously, the Family Guy people knew I was now softened up so they went in for the kill:
That was it. I couldn't breathe. Tears were streaming down my face. Like the A-Team bit, the genius of this was all the little bits that were the same as the film: falling off the cliff, pulling out Peter's heart, the mine chase.
I love Family Guy.
The Internet Nearly Let Me Down
I first saw this advert on Tuesday and, my God, I nearly exploded with laughter. Seriously. I almost died. Couldn't breathe. And I thought I should blog this, everyone should see this. So I searched for it.
Nothing.
Nothing!
I was shocked, no one had put this advert on the net, couldn't find anything on any official site. Nothing. I had to wait until today and thank God for YouTube. So here it is folks, the best advert ever in the world ever:
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Nothing.
Nothing!
I was shocked, no one had put this advert on the net, couldn't find anything on any official site. Nothing. I had to wait until today and thank God for YouTube. So here it is folks, the best advert ever in the world ever:
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Just in case you were wondering: the bruising has gone down but it's still sore
Bit of a gap: this may be due to my lovely wife suddenly getting an addicition to MySpace. I mean, it was like from nothing to hyperspace in one ad break.
Also, have really done anything in the last week or so. Been a bit boring really.
Hmm.
Also, have really done anything in the last week or so. Been a bit boring really.
Hmm.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Good Lord
Here's a shocker: Ed Norton is reported to be cast as the lead in the new Incredible Hulk movie. That's some big casting, considering the film was previously rumoured to be direct to video with David Duchovny as the lead. Ed Norton is a bit of a step up.
This is, of course, all thanks to the big movie deal Marvel signed a while back. But even with money behind them, getting someone like Norton casted really cements their position in Hollywood.
But you know what, I liked Ang Lee's Hulk. Yeah, it was goofy and a bit daft but I went with it and enjoyed it. Plus, the big ass plastic special edition DVD box was awesome.
I like nice boxes.
This is, of course, all thanks to the big movie deal Marvel signed a while back. But even with money behind them, getting someone like Norton casted really cements their position in Hollywood.
But you know what, I liked Ang Lee's Hulk. Yeah, it was goofy and a bit daft but I went with it and enjoyed it. Plus, the big ass plastic special edition DVD box was awesome.
I like nice boxes.
The Saga Continues
Thought you'd all like an update:
Yeah, if those other toes are still black tomorrow I'm going to the doctors.
Yeah, if those other toes are still black tomorrow I'm going to the doctors.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Film review: Sunshine
Sunshine @ IMDB
First off all, rather than going to my usual rubbish cinema I went to the one in the next town over which is the same chain but much much better.
Well, hobbled there all thanks to my smashed up toe.
Myself and my friends got there about 40 minutues before it started and being that the cinema is so close to the town centre we thought we'd go grab a burger. Now, the time for the film was 1645 and the guy at the counter said it would start at five past five. We roll back in at the cinema just before 5, go to our screen and the damn film had already started.
Son of a bitch.
So, unless something really cool/rubbish happened in the first few minutes, take my review with a pinch of salt. Basically, I loved it. Loved the concept, loved the look of the film, liked the performemces. Even Chris Evans who was such a plank in Fantastic Four came out of the film with some kudos.
Yes, you can argue that the film does borrow heavily from other films in similar genres; you've got the setting of Alien, mix that with a bit of Event Horizon but much much much better and finally season with 2001. But in the same way that Shaun of The Dead borrowed from films in it's genres, Sunshine is it's own film that can stand proudly on it's own two feet.
Will be getting the DVD. As for a weapon, one of those three sectioned nunchukas.
And finally, as promised earlier:
Oh, my lord, did wearing shoes and trying to walk hurt. Hurt real, real bad.
First off all, rather than going to my usual rubbish cinema I went to the one in the next town over which is the same chain but much much better.
Well, hobbled there all thanks to my smashed up toe.
Myself and my friends got there about 40 minutues before it started and being that the cinema is so close to the town centre we thought we'd go grab a burger. Now, the time for the film was 1645 and the guy at the counter said it would start at five past five. We roll back in at the cinema just before 5, go to our screen and the damn film had already started.
Son of a bitch.
So, unless something really cool/rubbish happened in the first few minutes, take my review with a pinch of salt. Basically, I loved it. Loved the concept, loved the look of the film, liked the performemces. Even Chris Evans who was such a plank in Fantastic Four came out of the film with some kudos.
Yes, you can argue that the film does borrow heavily from other films in similar genres; you've got the setting of Alien, mix that with a bit of Event Horizon but much much much better and finally season with 2001. But in the same way that Shaun of The Dead borrowed from films in it's genres, Sunshine is it's own film that can stand proudly on it's own two feet.
Will be getting the DVD. As for a weapon, one of those three sectioned nunchukas.
And finally, as promised earlier:
Oh, my lord, did wearing shoes and trying to walk hurt. Hurt real, real bad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
PS3 ID
