There goes another one

So, the WWE Wrestler Chris Benoit has killed his wife and child.

What is it with wrestlers? What is it about their lifestyle that creates these stories? To be fair, they haven't been many stories like this. Normally it's cocaine or heart attacks or accidents.

Not murder.

And what makes it worse is that this wasn't just some backwater wrestler. This was Chris Benoit. This was The Rabid Wolverine. This was, and let's be honest here, one of the top ten wrestlers the WWE has ever seen.

He may not have had the cultural impact of a Hulk Hogan or Steve Austin or The Rock but for those of us who wanted to watch wrestling done properly, it was always Benoit.

But now that's all gone. We can always talk about his technical skill in the ring, the matches he fought in, the rivalries. But it will always come down to this:

He killed his wife and son.

You can't slip anything past me

This is only really for those who saw tonights episode of Doctor Who, but it had two massive Marvel Comic references:

1) You have the Time Lords referred to as "watchers of the Universe, who vowed never to interfere". Well, that's The Watchers, the ancient race of beings who, well, watch.

2) The US President says the meeting with the new aliens will be on the US aircraft carrier Valiant. So the Doctor and his crew teleport onto the carrier and look out of the window and don't see any water. Well, blimey, it's a only a big rocket powered flying aircraft carrier.

Well, that's SHIELD's Helicarrier. Nick Fury had loads of those.

What next, the Doctor popping this adamantium claws? Or throwing this mighty shield?

Review - 4: The Rise of The Silver Surfer

4: The Rise of The Silver Surfer @ IMDB

To be honest, I bet most of the reviews of this film were written before the trailer came out. The first film version of the FF received a critical mauling but did enough at the box office to make a sequel worth while.

So here we are. All of the Fantastic Four are back with this pesky Silver Surfer character flying around the place making these big craters and spouting off about some 'destroyer of worlds' heading our way.

Everything negative said about this film is probably right. The script is nothing special, it feels contrived in places, the humor sometimes falls flat, some of the effects look dodgy, Galactus is done wrong, the film is totally hamstrung by the casting of Jessica Alba but you know what?

Didn't care that much.

It's froth. It's a summer blockbuster that knows it is and doesn't try any more than that. It's not a classic and doesn't try to be. It simply tries to entertain you for an hour or so and in that respect it succeeds.

And whilst you're in the cinema you enjoy the interplay between the Thing and the Human Torch, the Surfer looks spot on grade A fantastic, the film cracks along at a great pace and I didn't look at my watch until just before the end credits.

And then you walk out and pick holes in it. Dr Doom, damnit, how hard would it really be do to him properly and regally? His re-entrance kinda makes sense and does doff it's hat to a story in the FF comic. Don't get me started on Galactus.

Jessica Alba. Worst casting ever. It's worth pointing out that in pretty much every scene where's she's being a scientist and looking at complicated things on screens that she's wearing glasses.

Worst casting ever.

So, I enjoyed it, won't be getting the DVD, hope Galactus is done properly in the inevitable sequel, forgot most of it already.

The film gets a dagger. A cheap one but still useful.

Somebody give me their goddamn credit card

I need this game. Now. I would steal a PS2 from a disabled 6 year old orphan who was given the console after a charity saved for months, forgoing food to buy the poor child a PlayStation. And I would steal it from them without a second thought if it meant I got to play that game.

I am not lying.

Holy Mother of God

That is, like, insane. I barely got 90% on that song on Easy mode.

Colour me stunned.

I have never been so impressed by shorts

So I've made my decision.

I'm throwing my weight behind Blu-Ray in the current format war. This is due to two reasons:

1) Me and my good friend Meat walked into Dixons and saw a demo of NBA 2K7 for the PS3. Now, I would stick in a gratuitous YouTube video but a small flash video would not do justice to what I saw running on that LCD TV.

I've seen the PS3 videos online, seen the Formula 1 game running on big in store displays but all that looked...not impressive. Like an X-Box could run it.

But that NBA game. To see the detail on the player models, the animation, the way the players uniforms moved, the animation in the crowd, I was stunned. I was finally sold on the next-gen consoles.

2) Browsing in HMV I saw The Fountain on Blu-Ray. Didn't see it in the HD-DVD section. Final nail in the coffin.

Of course the PS3 wraps up the games and Blu-Ray in one neat little, sorry, towering package. But, despite my decision, it can wait until the PS3 is under £250. Way under.

Waaaaaay under.

Pedestrian < Driver

Had my first driving lesson today. By driving I mean started, drove forward a bit, stopped, drove forward a bit more, stopped again, drove forward some more, went round a freaking roundabout, stopped.

Oh yeah. First steps, my friend. Soon I'll be powering down those motorways going to seaside locations and everything.

After I pass my test.

And buy a car.

I drove today!

TEAM!

I was very nearly worried for a while

That actually looks quite cool. All the trailer needed was a "MEG-A-TROOOON!" from Prime and it would have been perfect.

Now THAT is a trick shot

That's just all kinds of crazy.

A note, further to my review of 28 Weeks Later: My fear of the undead rising to bring down civilisation as we know it has surfaced again. Seriously, this is probably the only thing that gets me waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

International terrorism? Nah. Rising inflation? Nope. A corpse shambling into my house whilst I'm in the shower? You'd better believe it.

But it's always best to be on the safe side, that's what I say.

Now I know what I want for Christmas

A teaser of the playlist for Guitar Hero III has been released. And oh my good God.

Knights of Cydonia.

Paint It Black.

Tenacious D.

SABOTAGE.

What'll a Wii cost by then? Call it £180. Guitar controller and game, £60. £240.

Time to sell some organs.

My only problem with this is that this won't be the true Guitar Hero III as the developer who made it, Harmonix left the publisher so this game is being made by new people.

Harmonix's new game is called Rock Band where four of you can play; lead guitar, bass, drums and a singer.

Who would have thought that the world of rhythm action based games using guitar shaped controllers would be so competitive and so hard to choose between?

Film review: 28 Weeks Later

28 Weeks Later @ IMDB

So. Danny Boyle takes a digital film camera, shoots some bits of London when it was quiet and suddenly zombies are cool again.

Before anyone says anything, I know there are no zombies in this film. They are Infected. Talking zombies to me is like getting your Grandmother to suck the dead flesh of the arm of a family member. I am Mr Zombie. In fact, neither are there zombies in the Evil Dead films, in those you have people possessed by Deadites.

Anyway. Off topic. But it's worth mentioning as the original film was the first film in the wave of modern zombie films, despite the previously mentioned undead disparity.

So, six months following the outbreak in the original 28 Days Later, the Infected have now died out. The US army has moved into London to start the repopulating the country. Another plane load of people arrives. Two kids are reunited with their Father.

And then all Hell breaks loose.

The sequel manages to retain all of the intensity of the first film. While the purists among us like the shambling inevitability of the usual zombie, having a gang of rampaging Infected running about the place does make for great cinema. Examples being the opening chase across a field and the scene when the outbreak gets out of control. Yes, it gets a bit too jumpy and shaky in places but the energy of the film is amazing.

You can read some political stuff into the film (US troops in a green zone? Smells a bit Middle East to me) but, let's be honest, all we need to know is how much gore you get for your money. Let me just say this:

1) Helicopter.
2) Rotor blades.
3) Infected.

Oh yes.

The empty streets of London, so iconic in the first film, seems a bit forced this time. A bit like "we've seen this before, let's get on with it". But when the film does get on with it, fantastic. Just don't think too much about the plot or the route the characters take across London because it can fall apart if you think about it too much.

And the best thing about this film? One of the main characters, the bad ass US Sniper, is called Doyle. Like me. Oh yes. There is one issue with this which so as not to spoil anything I will hide. So if you want to know highlight the following, otherwise skip on.

They set fire to him. With a flamethrower. And he doesn't even get infected. He just gets set on fire. On a related note, walking out of the cinema I said to my good friend Ryan, "I can't believe they set Doyle on fire."

To which Ryan replied, "They set him on fire because he had a gay name."

Cheers buddy.

Oh, and great ending. Bit like the ending to the Dawn of The Dead remake.

This film gets a great big sword that you can use to kill a lot of people with.

Film review: Zodiac

Zodiac @ IMDB

Now, when you think of David Fincher and serial killers you think of heads in boxes, grusome punishments and a big fat dead guy.

So the synopsis of this film, the story of the Zodiac Serial Killer who terrorised San Franscico in the late 60s/early 70s, you'd be excused for thinking that you're going to get blood and guts and heads in boxes.

But not so. This is a procedural take of the serial killer film from the viewpoint of those investigating the killer both official and unofficaly. You basically have the amatuer who can't leave the story alone (Gyllenhaal), the Detective who was hunting the killer (Ruffalo) and Robert Downey Jr as Robert Downey Jr.

Alright, that last was one was a bit harsh but the point still stands.

You don't see anything from the perspective of the killer (much like Se7en if we're being honest) except for a couple of the murders. But even in this instance, such is Fincher's devotion to accuracy in this film that the victims who survived the attacks were actually consultants on the film. It is very much a restrained Fincher film. There are none of the epic CG shots like you had in Panic Room, nothing like the outlandish deaths of Se7en, when they do come they are short and brutal.

So what do you get for your money? You get a 2 and half hour running time. You get no carthartic shoot-the-bad-guy ending as the killer was never caught. You get a really well made, taught film about peoples obessions and the realities of detective work.

This film gets a spear. With a tassle on the end.

I'm not ashamed to admit I nearly cried like a girl

So, Batman Begins = Good. Good enough for a sequel, The Dark Knight, which has got Harvey Dent and (drumroll) The Joker in it.

The pre-hype started to build last week when this site went up. But then, that site got more and more defaced until it was replaced by this:



Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Heath Ledger as The Joker.

That's not your Adam West Joker is it? That's pretty messed up. And if The Joker looks like THAT, what the hell will Two Face look like?

But it gets weirder. This site went up as well. Page not found eh? Highlight that page and you'll find about 12 pages of Ha ha ha's.

Good lord.

At least I wasn't Wonder Woman

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 80% Superman 70% Green Lantern 65% Hulk 60% The Flash 60% Robin 50% Iron Man 50% Supergirl 45% Catwoman 40% Batman 40% Wonder Woman 30%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz


Hmm. Not sure about that. Yeah, I like Spidey but I would have liked to have been Iron Man. Or Thor. I do like to say thou.

Thou.

Heh.

Your results:
You are Magneto

Magneto 58% Juggernaut 54% Lex Luthor 52% Apocalypse 52% The Joker 50% Dr. Doom 50% Mr. Freeze 44% Venom 44% Mystique 42% Dark Phoenix 41% Green Goblin 38% Two-Face 38% Catwoman 37% Kingpin 36% Poison Ivy 36% Riddler 33%

You fear the persecution of those that are different or underprivileged so much that you are willing to fight and hurt others for your cause.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...


Now that's not too bad. I'll take Mags any day of the week. It would have been good if I was a Spidey villain. But, you can't have everything.

Thou.

Heh. Still got it.

The Most Video-Licious Post EVER

Can't resist. Found about about a very cool series of videos of YouTube and am going to post them all here. Get ready:



Funny.



Heh. Hulk funny.



See? Superkid is stupid.



Poor Supes. Heh, rock.



Like it. Bats is funny.



A more perfect review of the film you will not find.

An apology.

In a previous post it was stated that one Ryan Holland was an "idiot sidekick" to the owner of this blog, one Phil Doyle. Mr Holland would like it known that:

a) He is not an idiot, and
b) He is not a sidekick.

This is despite evidence to the contrary that would be able to stand up in a court of law. Despite this, the owner of this blog would like to apologise for any emotional torment caused.

Not.

Film review: Spider-Man 3

Spider-Man 3 @ IMDB

I begin this review with a tale.

My friend Lawrence, his friend Bob and my idiot sidekick Ryan* went to the cinema yesterday to see the new Spidey film. Lawrence drove us to Cheltenham and it was very entertaining for three reasons:

1) Driving up one road on the way to Ryan's house we were behind a Jaguar which stopped quite suddenly, the door flying open as the driver got out. We had to swerve and as we past we heard the driver say "BITCH!" which was, frankly, uncalled for. But then, not five minutes later after picking up Ryan we drive down another road where in front of us is parked THE SAME JAG and the driver opens the door IN FRONT OF US AGAIN. Freaky.

2) Now, this was the day after Lawrence's birthday and he had been given a brand spanking new satnav for his car. So he programs the route to the cinema into it and off we go. We get to a roundabout, the satnav says to go straight over. He takes the first exit which puts us on the M5 heading for Bristol. Queue several frantic trips up and down several junctions before we get the car heading in the right direction again.

3) So we get to Cheltenham, park up in the car park next to the cinema, go in, buy our tickets, go upstairs, Ryan goes the the toilet, I go to buy a drink but as they're charging £1.90 for a bottle of water I decide to just absorb moisture through the air, Ryan comes back, decides to get a hot dog, comes back, Lawrence decides to get a hot dog, we start to go over to the guy to take our ticket so we can go sit down when Lawrence stops.

"Wait," he says."

"What?" the rest of us say.

"Can you remember what I did with my satnav?"

"No," one of us says. "Why?"

Lawrence pauses for a moment. "I think I left it on the roof of my car."

He thrusts his hot dog into my hand and runs off.

There follows several moments of disbelief, outrage, more disbelief, belly laughs and mocking until we go outside so Ryan can have a fag. I meanwhile call my dear wife to tell her the happy news. In the distance comes Lawrence. He walks up to us.

"Where was it?"

"On the roof of the car," he says.

More laughter follows, followed by shocked amazement that it was still there followed by mericless taunting for the rest of the day.

And this incident, which will keep me laughing through till Christmas, almost overshadowed the film.

Being brutally honest, some of my fears about this film have come true. There are too many villains, the film gets itself tangled up trying to explain everything in a convoluted plot which includes the following:

- Spidey vrs The New Goblin
- Spidey vrs The Sandman
- Spidey vrs Venom
- Spidey & MJ's relationship troubles
- Spidey's battle with his darkside
- Spidey in a love triangle
- 4 new characters, 2 origin stories and several coincidences that nearly tear the film down.

That last one gets a bit much. Someone happens to be here when this happens, just when this happens someone turns up. Does get a bit lazy. There's a few scenes as well that you just wish the creators would clarify a bit better.

A good example, and not a spoiler as it's in the trailer, is when Spidey removes the evil costume. It just basically starts with him trying to tear it off. What it needed was Spidey trying to take a glove or something off and it reattaching itself and building up like that. In the film it's like BANG! straight into the screaming and the tearing and you question why the character isn't questioning it. It's like the character in the film knows that the suit does this but we the audience haven't been shown before, which causes confusion and takes you out of the film for a moment. It did for me, at least.

And the Live News Report schtick that frames the final battle in the film is just ridiculous.

The main problem is this: Spider-Man 2 was one of the best comic films ever made. Also one of the best sequels. And it's in trying to top this that the film overstretches itself.

But it's not all bad: the action is amazing (although nothing beats the train fight from Spidey 2) with some top effects. The Sandman looks amazing and when he first forms is the perfect marriage of character and CG. Bruce Campbell's cameo. The much maligned Spidey/John Travolta scene I loved. It does have a precedence if you remember the sequence in Spidey 2 when he gives up being Spidey. The New Goblin is a great character in the film.

So it's a good film that is only tripped up by it's own ambition.

The best way I can get across my feelings about the film is this; you have the climax and I was wowed by the effects, pulled into the ride and grinning like an idiot. Then it ends and there's a scene with Spidey and Sandman, And I blinked and thought "You know, I probably would have given up a few CG scenes for this because Thomas Hayden Church as Sandman is fantastic and deserves room to breathe.

"Like Doc Ock in Spidey 2."



* Yeah, I'm probably going to pay for that. But I'm talking about someone who cries every time at the end of Armageddon so I don't feel that bad.

potter puppets 1

--

Jesus! My wife has hijacked my blog to post bizzare Harry Potter videos from YouTube!

I suppose I should be grateful that this was the only thing that she did. Last time she got access to my Facebook account she changed my profile to read as follows:

I am a potato-headed old man who likes to spend time in the country admiring the many splendrous breeds of sheep and cows and pigs. ooooh arrrrrr!!

My own wife.

*sigh*

You've let me down America

So it appears that Grindhouse has tanked in America and is now left without a release date over here.

Great. Just great. Thank you very much America. All I wanted was to see a damn film with a machine gun for a damn leg and now I can't. A machine gun for leg! Did no one see the trailer?

I am very annoyed.

And then I read this, quite simply the worst list of the Top 50 films so far this year. Epic Movie? Hannibal Rising? Norbit?!

And no Hot Fuzz.

I feel enraged.

Nearly forgot Norbit, biggest mistake of all

Recently been listening to the Adam & Joe podcats from their radio show on Xfm, just listened to one where they reviewed Superman Returns, which was spot on: first hour great, after that bobbins.

But why bobbins? Simple. One of the greatest film mistakes ever, which was

SPOILERS! SPOILERS BE HERE!

giving Superman a son. Ridiculous. How is that going to work in the sequel? The problem with doing a Superman story is that he's Superman. Any problem you can think of he can get out of, you never feel like he's in danger so no tension. And now they're going to have two Supermen which doubles the problem. Big mistake that there is no way out of short of ignoring the first film.

Other huge film mistakes include: Godfather Part III; casting Leo in Gangs on New York; not giving South Park the Best Song Oscar for Blame Canada; the career of Sylvester Stallone excluding Cliffhanger, Rocky 3 and First Blood.