Film review: Rambo

Rambo @ IMDB

I was born in 1980. I was raised on cheesy action films. Commando is a work of art. My video shelf was adorned with Schwarzenegger and Willis and blood and cops who got the job done nevermind the rules. I remember the days when mainstream American cinema all looked to inspiration from Lethal Weapon.

But times have changed. The bloodthirsty heroes from my past are gone, just look at Die Hard 4.0. John McClane was neutered, not a swear word passed his lips and barely a brutal death scene was seen.

When things are this desperate, you need someone special. Someone built for war. A weapon.

You need Rambo.

Let's get this out of the way: being honest, the film isn't great. Sketched characters, flimsy plot, villain wasn't great. But I haven't seen a film like this in my life.

A bold statement perhaps. The immediate comparison is the beginning of Saving Private Ryan. We're talking heads flying off, guts spilled out, arms lopped off violence. Nothing is as violent as this film. Nothing.

Let's go back to Commando. Remember the end? When Arnie stood there and mowed down a South American army with one gun? And remember the soldiers would kind of stand there and shake and fall down?

This film is that sequence but done properly. I have not experienced anything as visceral and astoundingly insanely violent as this film.

Plot? Who cares? It's all an excuse for people to be lined up in front and Rambo to get brutally murdered. Stallone is great, a hulking presence, a foreboding presence. You see him and you just know people are going to get fucked up.

And they do.

In a word? Glorious.

Does anybody have a coin?

So, quite fancy going to the cinema this weekend and quite fancy watching There Will Be Blood, the Oscar and Bafta nominated Paul Thomas Anderson film which has been hailed as a masterpiece. However, Sylvester Stallone was on the Jonathan Ross chat show in Friday with his new Rambo film and in that, apparently, someone gets brutally killed every 30 seconds.

So now I'm torn. Highbrow work of art or Stallone kill fest?

Tricky.