Hmm.
Previous reviews have noted that I am very much a child of the 80s. Nothing wrong with this. But this also means, of course, that Star Wars is a major landmark in my life.
It's hard to grasp just how all consuming it was, how it enraptured me and my generation. What isn't hard to grasp is how it's recently had the life strangled out of it by ill-conceived projects and films.
We won't go into the Prequel Trilogy here* as it's a conversation for another time, we will just focus on this new Star Wars film which is new in a couple of ways: it's all in 3D CGI and it fills in some gaps between Episodes 2 and 3 of the main Star Wars films.
What we have here is Obi Wan and Anakin and a shed load of clone troopers trying to rescue the son of Jabba the Hut.
Hmm.
Kids version of Stars Wars is nothing new. There were the Ewoks and Droids cartoons of the 80s, the Caravan of Courage film and the cartoon series this film was based on. That isn't to say that this is necessarily a good thing.
Visually, haven't got a problem. The art style of the cartoon series is based on the Genedy Tartakovsky looks of the series (see Dexter's Lab and Samurai Jack) which is heavily anime based. Whilst some may not like it (I've heard Obi Wan's beard described as lumps of wood stuck onto his face) it's not awful by any means. The battle sequences look great.
One weird aspect of this is the Droid army. These were always CGI in the Prequel films and they look exactly the same here. It's a strange bridge between the live action and animated films.
The problem is when they open their mouths. This film is good evidence as to why getting experienced actors for 3D CGI films is a good thing. The only actors from the film series to reprise their roles are Samuel L Jackson and Christopher Lee. And Yoda, but I'm not sure if he counts.
To put it simply: they're rubbish. Obi Wan's accent is all over the place and the only thing more annoying than Anakin's whiny voice is his annoying Jedi sidekick. All of them, rubbish.
It just feels like a cheap TV show that got some money thrown at it so it could come out in the cinema. The story drags itself along, the characters fall flat and it has no ambition whatsoever.
The worst thing is that it'll make money on name alone and get shown again and again. But the real worst thing is that this is what my son is going to think Star Wars is.
No thank you.
In a word? Hmm.
* Han Solo fired first!
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